The under/over/around 1 Twins thread for support, tips on how to survive and enjoy twin parenthood!

[DreamingOfPeace]

BB3: dcda non id girls Sept 2011 (plus ds)
TwelveLeggedWalk: DCDA DD and DS 14.09.11 (PFBs)
Tiggersreturn twin boys (?!) (plus ds age 5)
Wherearemyearplugs twins (plus ds)
Ceeveebee b/g twins 21.11.11, PFBs
minesapintofwine: non-id boys 02/02/2012. dcs 1&2/pfb on good days.
ClaireMarathonFeeder: Boy/girl twins born 08/02/2012, no3&4, dd1 (2001) and dd2 (2004)
rednellie nonID boys 13.03.2012 + DD 03.02.10
Lemele: id boys (plus ds)
Skitoo : DCDA Non ID Boys, 01.04.12 DC 1&2
DreamingofPeace: dcda non id boys, 4.4.12 DC 2&3 (DD Sept 2010)
beyoglu: dcda non id girls 21.4.12
Bigboobsatlast ID twin boys 30.04.12 DC #2&3 (DD Feb 2010)
Scollister mcda girls 3.5.12 plus DD age 4
Twin2makes4 mcda girls plus 2 ds,age 8 & 4

Again, sorry for mistakes, doing this from my phone!

Settle in ladies :)

Totally normal nancy. Don't get hung up on what your breasts are doing/feel like. It often bears no relation to what's coming out. Someone once said to me (they were American, so bear with the outirght religiosity) "If God intended us to know how much milk our breasts were producing, he would have stuck flow meters on them." Ha ha. Like dream says, go by the babies and what they're doing. If they're growing, you are doing right.

Am off out to yoga. Scared. First proper attempt at 'fitness' for flipping forever. Wish me luck.

Hello again,

welcome garden and Nancy and congratulations!
I have bg 9 month old twins.

so much has been going on since I last posted...where do I begin?

well Beyoglu well done on the sleep front, I will not ignore but I am a bit , ok more than a bit really

we're not making much progress on that front, it's more one step forward and two back... some nights they'll only wake each, then I have some nights when dtb decides to feed every.bloody.two.hours!

NOrmally it is easy to get them back to sleep (feedfeedfeed), but last night dtg woke up around 9.30 and she fed and fed FOREVER, and she will not feed lying down, no madam, I have to sit up, cheecky baby! I say feed, but chew would be more approriate tbh, that was no feeding, she needs to suck, but dummies or fingers (or anything else, except me) is no good for her, I was beyond exhausted. Eventually even she got tired to suck on an ampty breast but was still v unhappy and moany and fidgety but eventually went to sleep in bed with me.

It made me think I really need to stop her relying on mbreastfeeding to go to sleep but HOW?? Dh tried settling her but she wouldn't have it.

That aside they are happy contented babies, dtb is CRAWLING, and she is not far behind, they also both have a tooth each and one on the way.

and who said something about feeling inadequate? Yeap, that's me most of the time, what with four, especially with my older two who are having to make do with scraps of time, and often I'm short tempered and distracted anyway... I do feel very bad for them but the night before yesterday I tried NOT to rely on them and it all went pearshaped, with dtg getting upset in her cot while I was trying to settle her brother, ending up with her vomiting TWICE on me so we both had to change twice, her brother crying in teh abckgroudn and me yelling for dd1 to help me. MASSIVE GUILT TRIP to follow, I actually had a little cry, as felt so hopeless about it all, and feel it is unfair to all of the kids, but what can I do short of having MIL move in with us over my dead body ?

sorry massive moan of a post, just wanted to add for Nancy all of mine cluster fed in the evening too. I know it's not recommended but when it got unbearable I gave them a little top up of expressed milk or formula, just so my nipples could have a rest. It was never big amounts and usually after hours of feeding, so my breasts were still stimulated enough to boost supply, just not shredded to pieces .

BB3 hello , come back!!

rednellie

sorry you are feeling low, I guess we all reach this point sooner or later, I reach it a few times a day

Hope yoga helped? I should try and do something like that...

here's some , and [chocs] all round!

claire didn't want to read and run but just have time to say you sound pretty hard and yourself it is really really hard having dc's (the hardest job you'll ever love?) and it's so easy to beat yourself up for the things you do to make it all happen. I do all the time and it's normal we're all great mums achieving loads abd our dc's love us no matter so we must be doing ok.

Also it sounds like teething doesn't it which we are having here too (dt1 has 6 and another on way causing bad days and worse nights, dt2 has cut 2 with no complaints) but I don't really know.

I love that ours are the same age. Mine are both crawling now and pulling to stand (arrggghhhhh).

But sorry I won't accept do you have any ? I'll take the chocs though.

Hope you start feeling better and everyone else too but like you said we all have those days, or are lying if we say we don't (thinking of the completely shattered parents of 6 week old twins I met in Porthcawl today-every cloud...)

hard 'on' yourself. ffs

Hi Claire, just expressing for DT2's porridge and looking up bf to sleep in Elizabeth Pantleys No Cry sleep solutions. She says about the feeding to sleep:

Step 1: 'Pantley Gentle Removal Plan/Pantley Pull Off', which is removing the nipple (or dummy or teat) from the baby's mouth before she falls completely asleep. As soon as she's stopped sucking vigorously, take the nipple out. If she roots, let her have it again and then remove it after a few seconds. Repeat until she gives up and falls asleep without the nipple.

Try not to wait until she's completely asleep. Stand up, rock baby gently. Then lay her down, keeping arms around her and still rocking. Slide arms out once she's asleep. If she stirs, pat her/talk to her quietly. If she wakes up and howls, pick her up and start again. Keep doing this until you feel like it's working.

Step 2: When baby is settled and sleepy, but not asleep, put her in her cot. Pat or touch her, say 'sleep words' if you've established any, until she falls asleep. If she wakes and cries, pick her up and repeat. When you can do this with a fair amount of success, go on to Step 3.

Step 3: Comfort without pick-ups. When she wakes and cries, go in and pat/touch/say sleep words/cuddle in the cot. If she cries, revert back to Step 2, but try to make it brief.

Step 4: Soothing pats.

Step 5: Verbally Soothing - stand inside door and say your sleep words.

Step 6: Comfort from outside the doorway.

She also talks about a 'lovey'/ comforter.

Sorry, hit post too soon and been writing so long I've expressed 8bloody oz!!

The comforter thing, my boys have a jellycat dog and rabbit. I have just laid the comforters by the boys when they're going into their cots, every night and every wake up without fail. So putting the baby down fast asleep then comforter on their arm (I always used to put them on their sides) I didn't ever stick them down my top or anything, but just gradually noticed that they'd noticed them iykwim. So then proceeded to putting down awake in cot with comforter to hold while I fed/ rocked or whatever with the other until the magic day when DT1 (my worst sleeper) fell asleep by himself. So it really was no cry, but not exactly as Elizabeth Pantley would tell you to do it. And it took way longer than the few weeks she said, but I also think being older has helped as they're more aware. So, and now I've written this on mn I bet it goes wrong, we have a very set bedtime routine- tea, 5 min tv, up to bath, bath, clothes, milk, into cot wide, wide awake, white noise cd on, comforter in arms, DT1 sucks it, DT2 holds it to face and sucks fingers and for the last nearly two weeks both have gone to sleep by themselves. They still wake, but sometimes only twice. Unheard of before.

Good luck Claire your dc are lucky to have you and I bet DD1 doesn't mind being essential to bedtime, she sounds lovely and everyone likes to be irreplaceable :)

Hi minesa , wow to crawling and pulling to stand (I'm secretly worried mine won't do it, DD went straight to walking but never crawled/ pulled herself up and is still v clumsy for her age... Boys are 7 months 3 days, only one can roll in one way- off his tummy!!!) and hi to everyone else, I've been typing on my phone so long now I'm off, but all round

hi all,

claire, red and dream - thanks for reassurance re bfing -makes me feel better (although i am still paranoid about it....!)

i am actually giving them a bottle of expressed milk or formula on an evening - well, i mean dp is - just means i can get a couple of hours sleep in. hopefully it's not interfering too much with my supply....

would quite like to kill my mil who "doesn't understand why i don't just bottle feed them." grrrr

claire - sorry you're feeling down. i must admit i'm finding it v difficult and i only have the dts!! think you must be pretty amazing just to get through the day!

Nancy, yes, I wanted to kill many people who told me I wouldn't be able to ebf my twins. Even a lactation consultant told me the odd bottle wouldn't hurt!!! I am frankly amazed mine have never had a bottle in hindsight, but it was sheer determination and teeth gritting many times. The thing that helped me most was a friend of dh's who's a genera surgeon specializing in colo-rectal telling me in his research on the gut from his phd is that bf is the best thing in the first few months for so many reasons (half of which I barely understood!) but particularly transfer of immunoglobulins. (Those that bottle fed, I'm not trying to say you've done a bad thing at all, just when you're struggling with constant feeding, sore nipples, no freedom from babies, no sleep, you must really believe its a great thing you're doing to carry on- so i found anyway). I did express so dh could give an evening bottle early on but mine were too colicky/ windy with a bottle so had to stop, plus expressing plus 2 hourly feeding plus cluster feeding plus looking after a 19-20 month old too was too much for me. So yes, its hard, but you cam do it, and keep the faith with your supply! you've done really well already, the first weeks are a slog. Have a and a or 10 and I hope they settle and give you some more sleep soon.

Oh, and Nancy, one of mine is cows milk protein intolerant (only realised recently) so comfort fed constantly but also screamed after feeding, cried usually 5-6 hours/day from week 2 to about week 17/18, the other baby cried a lot too, but maybe a hour or so less, until recently they'd never gone more than 3 hours between feeds, day or night (which is v unusual, don't worry) but bf was much, much easier from about 12 weeks, and now is so fast and a doddle. It's worth it!

^
That reads funny. I just mean even with difficult little tikes you can do it and will hopefully be grateful in a few months at how easy it is!

I'd happily kill tour MIL Nancy. In fact I'll do anyone else's whilst I'm at it that's the mood I'm in! Seriously though, when I volunteered at a bf clinic the majority of problems people came in with weren't actually problems at all, just mother or MIL induced paranoia.

Things are slightly better here. Sleep is getting there, Dt2's skin is almost perfect (thanks dream for asking), DD is recovering from her cold and has started eating again. Claire - I so get where you're coming from. Guilt is endemic in mother's. My current guilt us that I lose it quite a lot because I'm so tired and I can'tbutility feel my tears and shouting are a big reason behind DD's tantrums. Have slightly lost the moral high ground! It's not that bad, but sometimes it is...

you are so lovely! sniff sniff you make me feel so much better!

mines it had to be , as I posted at lunchtime, I thought it was a bit early for ...

and you're right about our kids loving us anyway, I guess I just have too high standards...

I actually had quite a nice day yesterdaty, dh came home for lunch, (with takeaway lunch too), it was lovely to see him during the day and have a little chat and the twins were happily playing in the playpen.

it's dd2s birthday tomorrow so we'll make a big fuss out of her all weekened, she has asked for breakfast in bed!

Dream thanks for the info on feeding to sleep, I skimmed through it and it looks like hard work, not sure I ahve the energy to follow it through, but will keep it for reference for when I've had enough!!

I have been trying with the comforter, my odleest two were v. big with their ones they still have them in with them but these two seem to be a different breed... I also take it with us when I feed her at night so she associates with sleep, but so far I've never seen her sleeping with it ifkwim. But thanks so much for all the tips, greatly appreciated!

and Nancy I'd kill your mil too, I nearly gave up bf altogether with dd1 because mine said "oh no you have to do it for at least 3 months!" when I said I was really struggling with it, 3 months being a magic number for no other reason than she had done it herself! (I did manage 8 months with her and dd2 though)

right off to do some damage control!!

Oh god I totally dropped the ball there! Small ones slept through to half 5 then started making noises ending in proper, I am awake and annoyed sort of crying by half 6 so in desperation I went in with the milk and they fell on it like starving people. Then at proper breakfast they ate 2 big portions of yoghurt and like properly had a go at some toast, grinning at me all through it. Now, these are ladies who usually have to be coaxed to take anything before the 10.30 feed. It's the 6 month growth spurt! Ahahaha and OH is on watch tonight. DO NOT WAKE ME AT 5AM I AM NOT LISTENING, ASK YOUR DAD. Oh, the weekend, I love the weekend. Tonight I will eat like a Roman, drink like a fish and then sleep like a stone.

I've been trying to get back on here for the last few weeks but it's been utterly impossible. These two are 10 mo and they're exhausting me. How on earth do the rest of you cope. Has anyone got any tips? Don't know if it's just because I'm shattered but I'm really struggling today. Please. Someone tell me it gets easier!!

Oh beyoglu, I've laughed and laughed at your post, even read it to mn-hating dh. Laughter is good for my soul, I feel better already, have some , love reading your posts! I'm still at your girls sleeping through mind, mine still start the wakings at 10:30 ish, yawn. Though there was a one off magic night where each of my dc only woke once each, but I only got up twice as put one boy down as his brother awoke. Twas bliss but i bet they don't repeat it til they're about 6...

spartacus . Yes. It will get easier. My DD is 26 months today and its soooo much easier. A few tantrums, yes, but altogether a lovely little soul. Coping. Hmm. I'm only at 7 months with my 2, and i find I'm out a lot as they're all distracted and whinge less. However I'm worried my boys spend way too much time in buggy/car seats/ slings because of this and not enough time on the floor, and no where near enough time on their tummies... Paranoid as DD looks a bit dyspraxic to me, and the boys are still not rolling/ crawling/ moving. They are delightful now, but yes, I feel like I never stop. I'm constantly exhausted. It would help if mine slept though.... I give snacks to shut them up (all 3), lots of walks, I sing a lot- they all like a good chorus of bloody Old McDonald , but i do have a lot of help with my three. It's not easy. Dh worked out how many days it is before the twins start school!! (DD will go the year before them, so won't my house suddenly go quiet?!)

beyou I am always amazed that you and your dh do alternate shifts for night feeds my own dh and I have got up every single time for 9 months together because it's just too hard at night on our own! So well done!!!!!

dream did I read in an earlier post that you get more sleep now? Hooray for that!

spartacus I've no advice I am also bloody knackered and look as much but I like dream sing a lot, feed snacks a lot, anything really to get through day. That in itself is tiring! It doesn't help if they don't sleep that well. We had 3 months of full nights sleep but for the last 3 months they only happen a few times a week if lucky. I had to laugh at dream though as I also do the counting down to school thing (not days though!) felt really bad about it before but not any more!

I'm back in work on Monday. Mixed feelings. Looking forward on the whole but a bit nervous/new-girl-all-over-again, a bit oh-god-can't-really-be-arsed, and a bit how-will-I-cope-being-so-tired!

I hope red and claire are feeling better at the moment. Bless us babies are hard aren't they?!?

yay gfor beyoglu's sleeping through!! think that might be a while off for me!!!!

not sure if i could look more tired if i tried! had a friend of dp's round this morning who wanted to take a picture of the bags under my eyes! think he though he was being amusing!!

oh god....both crying - off i go.....

Thanks everyone. Yes - snacks. That is definitely a good one. And one I'd not thought of. It'd certainly break the day up a little. I've found getting them out of the house at least once in the morning and sometimes after their nap is vital for their sanity (and mine)
We had the sleep throughs for a few months too minesapint, then they stopped and were up all hours but seem to be getting back on track a little now they're 10 months. I've cut right back on their daytime naps though. Hope the return to work goes well. A lot of people have asked me if I'm going back to work for a rest!
I absolutely love having twins, it's the best thing ever. But I've never in my life been so knackered. And never expected to be either!
Know what you mean about the looking tired nancy. It always makes me laugh how people tell me when I look tired. Like it helps!!

It's like telling you you're big when you're pregnant. Really, am I? I was wondering why I want put my shoes on. Must be the two babies I've git growing in there.

Big news here - was feeding Dts their porridge. Dt2 is going red all round his mouth. Ask Dh if he accidentally put anything else in. It's a new brand - Hp's organic creamy -we've made it as per usual with water and banana. Turns out there's follow on milk in it by which point Dt is covered in hives. After only a couple of mourhfuls! So that answers the question of whether dairy was causing his eczema
Goodbye cheese and butter. Its not you, it's my Dt. Sob.

Boo hiss rednellie.. At least you'll be able to manage his exczema now. still, console yourself with the old 95% have grown out of it by age 2. I'm crossing everything that when we retry at 9 months DT2'll be ok.

Knackered. DD shouting. Best dash, as usual...

Hey, glad to have made you all laugh! How the hell did Monday roll round so quickly...

Hi folks, sorry for the continual radio silence. I do read all the time, but no chance to post. Illness has hit our house hard for 4 weeks now. Everyone but Dt1 are now ok. But dt 1 has bronchialitis Andreas been in and out of hospital. There now waiting for a chest xray and being tube fed as won't eat or drink. Me and DH are struggling managing having 2 at home and one in hospital. Exhausted with lack of sleep and worry. Some friends have been so helpful others including my so called best friend have really let me down and basically doesn't seem to have noticed I am struggling even though I have told her in black and white. .. literally!

Anyway, sorry for no personals. Have any of you had experience of bronchialitis? ?

Not personally bigboobs, but a mate's baby had it. He recovered really well after a scary patch. But gosh you've got it hard there. I that's the one situation I always dread as it's hard enough dealing with them all in one place and well.

Have they given you any indication how llong they'll be in? Poor bigboobs and baby boobs. Wish I could come give you a hug (and some more practical help). X

Bloody hell bigboobs sounds really tough. It'd be so hard having one in hospital with only one, let alone 3 little ones. DD had bronchiolitis at 6 months, but very mildly compared to your poor DT1, not in hospital or anything (we took her to a&e but she luckily improved massively with her breathing over the next few hours, went home and recovered well) so I've no experience of anything in that league . I wish there was something we could do to help, but I've no idea how we could, all being miles away... Any ideas do say, can send m&s voucher or something for some ready meals for you if that'd be helpful? What a shame your best mate is being useless. Double kick in the teeth. I really hope he's much better and home soon

Anyway, I only really came on to read as I'm short of time, but couldn't read and run... xx