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Multicultural families

Here's where to share your experience of raising a child or growing up in a multicultural family.

Original poster

English mum..Bengali/Muslim dad.

162 replies

Halzer · 29/05/2005 14:39

Hi mums...

Anybody out there married to a Bengali or Muslim man?
I soooo need to find women who understand my situation and this is the first mums website that I have found with this sort of catagory.

Anyway....Im am swimming in boredom at the moment
. I got married in 2001 to my bengali b/friend of 8 years. I also converted to Islam.
Now I have a DD aged 2 and a DS, 4 months....but in the process of becoming a wife and mum I lost contact with half of my friends, and the other half "dont get my lifestyle"
My head is spinning with all the pressure from my in-laws.....
Anyone out there in a similar position...?
I would love to chat with ya'll

OP posts:
mixed · 05/04/2006 16:27

HM, DH not too happy with several of them, too English, we already have a Zach Grin. Adam is one option but I don't like it too much, sigh. Maybe it will be a girl...
I suggested several Persian and Arabic names but apparently not used in his country. The fact that his sister who lives in "their home country" has children with "very weird/unusual" names, not used over there, is a different issue...

fuzzywuzzy · 05/04/2006 16:29

Omar,
Yunus
Daud/David (sp?)
Sulaiman/Solomon
Are you looking for a Persian/Arabic name specifically???

mixed · 05/04/2006 19:26

I think the problem is that DH doesn't want a "typical" English name, I don't want a "typical Muslim" name. So DH won't like Joseph and I don't like Yousuf...Neither of us are religious so lots of the Old Testament names don't appeal either. I know we chose Zacharia for ds in desperation but in the end Zach is OK. Although my family (not from UK) have some problems with it...

girlchick · 11/04/2006 10:11

Re 28 March thread

Just an update, it went really well with my DH's Fou-fous. They were brilliant. AND they liked my curry. They didn't mind that I had to work, although DH took a half day off work to look after them. They thought that I looked after them properly, so DH & I are happy it was a success Grin

pinkmagic1 · 12/04/2006 15:25

Couple of suggestions:
Tarik
Sami- one of my DS names

mixed · 13/04/2006 18:15

ha-ha, you have just mentioned DH 's name...

girlchick · 15/04/2006 22:51

I found on another thread a brilliant website on the meaning behind names, you should look at it for ideas. I just found out that my MIL's name is Turkish for "lover"! Ha ha ha Grin. Look \link{http://www.behindthename.com\here}

girlchick · 23/04/2006 20:15

Does anyone know any Bengali nursery rhymes?

girlchick · 27/04/2006 20:34

Bump

prettymum · 26/08/2006 11:15

hi just want to find anyone who has been 'disowned' by family due to choice of partner?

RustysBone · 27/08/2006 13:31

Hello Everyone
I am English and am married to an Arab. We have two children, one daughter2, and a son 2 months.
I lost contact with all but one friend. I got so fed up with the comments they were making, one even said he looked like a terrorist !
I have converted to Islam (my choice) and am more happy now than before I was married. I do get a bit lonely but then again the children keep me very busy!! I'm learning Arabic, I understand a lot but have trouble speaking it.
We are going to move back to his home country in the next 5 years (inshalla) I loved picking names as they all have different meanings. I live in Woodford Green, Essex.

RustysBone · 27/08/2006 13:35

I chose Takwa for my daugher, it sounds 'foreign' but has a lovely meaning, which is, the love and fear that a Muslim feels for Allah. A person with taqwa desires to be in the good pleasures of Allah and to stay away from those things that would displease Allah. He is careful not to go beyond the bouds and limits set by Allah.
We choose Ali for our boy, this is after my father-in-law.

prettymum · 28/08/2006 00:31

hi
im bengali and my partner is from jamaica, we have 2 lovely children. our dd is turning 2 in october and we have a 5 week old ds.

my partner is chritian but im more agnostic, i believe in god but really am not too sure in religion, i just have faith.

we dont let religion interfere with our relationship, just as long theres a lot of love to share!!!

anisha · 01/09/2006 10:51

Hi prettymum

I was 'disowned' by my family when I married my husband. We are from different religions, I am muslim he is sikh. His family have been great and my are Ok now we have children. You learn to live with it and try not to let it effect your family life.

kaboosh · 08/09/2006 00:20

hey guys.. this is an old thread i gues.. but i just joined mumsnet and im finding it all exciting! (sad state of affairs i say!)..

anyways.. my name is Saba,20, pakistani.. studying in southampton. my husband is originally Bosnian (white) but comes from newcastle. anyways.. i find the mixed race thing an interesting topic too! in laws and things.. .

anyways.. wanted to tell Halzer that i also live in ilford (redbridge) so if you ever need to get out.. or just talk to someone about asian in laws and how crazy they are, let me know! im all ears.. have been raised in all that and was all too glad to have easy going inlaws. theres just less hassle and less nose pinching! haha..

take care.
[email protected]

ameli · 08/09/2006 16:05

hi saba, im also in ilford. My hubbie is indian and im pakistani...we are both muslims but you would be surprised how the differences in culture can really overwhelme sometimes. What are you studying?

kaboosh · 20/09/2006 13:12

heya.. i'm studying Medicine in Southampton.. so am only in ilford for the summer! or rather, half the summer, the other half is spent in Newcastle with my in-laws.. how about you.. what are you to these days?

Mumma2005 · 21/09/2006 15:58

hi, sorry to gatecrash but if any fellow bengalis are on here then drop me a line! [email protected]

ameli · 24/09/2006 20:21

hi

im studying law and working p/time. Keeping busy with ramadan now.

Hanifah · 04/11/2006 13:35

Hey, im 24 from Ireland and 22 wks expecting with ds (my first child)Im a muslim since 16/17 yrs of age and just met my hubby in Jan who is British-Bengali and also muslim. I just moved over to Croydon in April after wedding and am finding it hard to meet new people. I have some friends/acquaintances but in other parts of London,its such an effort to travel all the way accross the city just for a coffee,lol.Am not working so am free throughout during the week. Id love to meet other mums/expectant mums especially now as im pregnant and want my kid to have other babies to play with

Babadoo · 06/11/2006 20:04

Hi to everyone

Rustybones - I live in Buckhurst Hill, which is just around the corner to Woodford. I recently discovered there is a mosque in South Woodford and they do Mum & Toddler Coffee Morning on Thursdays, but haven't yet ventured there. I also converted to Islam, I'm married to a Bengali Muslim. My son is 15 months old, his name is Zakariya.

bdey3 · 04/03/2007 01:26

Hi, I'm from Middlesex and am a mother of a little boy who's nearly 20 mths and a 3 year old girl.I'd love to chat to anyone who can give me some advice on potty training my daughter. I;ve tried numerous times but she just not interested. She'll be starting nursery soon so I'm getting a little anxious now.

mixedmama · 28/08/2007 18:49

hi

just thought i would revive this thread as my hubby is bengali and i am turkish/english and it would be good to speak to people in the same situation.

ssounds like you all have quite good experiences....

look forward to speaking to you all on here.

Original poster
Halzer · 02/09/2007 14:23

Well since I started this thread, 'asian' life has nosedived for me!

I now have my bengali brother inlaw, his wife and their two kids, a 4 year old and a 10 month old baby living with us.

The 4 year old is a nightmare and constantly trashes the house, fights with my daughter and just causes mayhem!

I wishing for the day that we sell this house and go our seperate ways.

sigh

OP posts:
3kids1cat · 06/09/2007 16:19

Just stumbled across this thread and have found it really interesting reading. 8 years ago i started dating a bengali guy,( i'm white british). We had 2 children together who are now 7 and 4. His mother had passed away when he was younger, but his father was against him being with me from the start. Things were good for a year or two but he gradually got more and more controlling and agressive. Just after my second child was born he became very violent towards me before leaving me and the kids and moving back up north to have an arranged marriage. He see's them a couple of times a year but still can't speak to me without being very abusive. I still think mixed race relationships are a wonderful thing, and am glad that other people have happy and successful relationships despite the added pressures that can sometimes come with them.