Went through our finances and we're fucked.

Different approaches work for different people, but we tend to buy food daily/ every second day here to keep waste and costs down. It works because we live 10 minutes walk from a shop so popping in there is just part of the daily routine.

With ADHD, it can be hard to make a weekly meal plan and stick to it, and then fresh food starts going to waste. I find it much easier to buy what we need daily and stick to a daily limit, and then I can take leftovers into account as well. Buying for the week just means we end up with too much of the wrong things left over.

If you're planning a clear out check out music magpie as well. We're using it to move on old CDs and DVDs. Think they also take computer games. Small prices per item but it adds up and the app is easy to use.

Honestly your not! It's way to easy these days for things to spiral debt wise. OK you guys may have been ostriches for a bit but you have woken up and you are tackling it. You are reaching out for advice and support and you are serious about getting it sorted. That takes a lot as it puts you through the ringer.

Take 5 mins today just have a cuppa and realise that today is the start of a new chapter. You can't change the past but you can learn from it and your posts reads like this is day 1 for you guys on hopefully a much clearer path. Yes it will take time and not be easy but your showing your children that you can't run from your problems and seeking help is a good thing.

Brilliant. If it helps I buy bulk posting bags from Amazon. I also restrict my posting options to Evri. Our local shop has a printer for the label so I don’t need to print at home.

Trust me. He will not lose his job. I have know police officers with £100k on credit cards. There is so much help available through federation and other areas that he would be foolish to not take advantage of it. I know there is access to consolidation loans at a much lower interest rates. Welfare fund which can give money to reduce your debt to a manageable level. Nobody needs to know about it. I urge you to get him to contact someone.

dont rule out iva-its only for 6 years then you have a clean credit record again-start cutting out essnetials first maybe your ds can pay a bit more monthly if he works ft

They rent so an IVA is unnecessary. They could get a DMP or a DRO and pay a lot less back.

An IVA will add a load of fees need 5 years of payments but the other options are likely to end much sooner.

But no-one can see what is suitable without seeing the numbers in detail.

That's the stupidest thing I have ever read re the kids.

Your husband will have access to financial wellbeing services via the police. You may be able to get a Credit Union debt consolidation loan via Police Mutual:

https://www.policemutual.co.uk/products/personal-loans/no1-copperpot/

This could significantly lower your monthly repayments.

Best of luck - you will get there!

Massive hug OP. Debt is so so hard.

All I can add is that when I was 15, my parents divorced. I lived with my dad and he sat me down and talked me through all the finances (he’d had to remortgage to pay mum I’m the divorce). He taught me all about budgeting and saving and I paid 30% of my income from my first job aged 16 and also contributed to food.

It really set me in good stead for financial management in the future, so please please do get the kids involved as it’s a brilliant life lesson for them.

Sending you all the best x

If your first steps with Vinted is anything like mine, you'll sell something else every time you leave the house to the drop off box.

Also if you sell 2 things on the same day, the buyers will pick different parcel services

For the payday loans go on Resolver and make a complaint. Mine all got written off with the interest they had to pay me back as they were sold unlawfully (always are as they shouldnt give you them if you can't afford to pay back) Start there. Sorry if this has been said but I'm rushing so no read the whole thread

I use new plastic bin bags to wrap clothes that I sell on Vinted. And I keep all boxes that I buy online. Everyone on Vinted does the same.
And easier to sell once you get some feedback.

With Vinted you’ll find once you start getting positive reviews, you’ll have more people buying.
I also find that once one item sells, the algorithm tends to drive more people to my wardrobe.

You do t need a iva to try and negotiate a lower payment . That might be your best shot . Is your debt from lots of creditors or a couple of big ones ?
And ignore all the martyrs on the tread , that’s a common household income for 2 people , you just have a lot of outgoings

I know someone who had an IVA and they do now have a mortgage, they got their mortgage late forties and they were a single parent so had it really tough. They are a relative of mine, their ex moved overseas and never paid maintenance.

Really it’s learning how to spend nothing unless it’s a necessity. We actually worked out finances out to the Penney as we are contemplating moving when the housing market settles a bit. We are not in debt but I was shocked at just how much we spent last year.

That's the stupidest thing I have ever read re the kids.

Had a relative do that when her DH died but it was in 1910 so she had space in the house to take in washing....😀

With an annual income of over £50,000 how can you not make ends meet? Your spending must be well out of control and the only people who can fix it is yourselves.
Get help from StepChange or Christians Against Poverty, (no they will not preface or try to convert you, they just offer help and advice).

@Galatine their rent & council tax is £24k a year that's how plus they have a lot of debts to repay.

Did you read the thread with rent costs and council tax? £50000 is a fortune where I live. Even I know it’s not in the South.

I haven't read the whole thread so I don't know if anyone has suggested this but - you said you were early years qualified but not sure if you actually work in a nursery. You could work as a TA in a reception class with your qualifications it's fewer hours but generally pays a lot better per hour than nurseries. You could then work in after school and holiday clubs to make up the hours. IME this would pay better than full time nursery work.

I’m so delighted to check in on this thread and to see how much better things are looking in the daylight! It sounds like you’re already on your way to putting some of the great ideas shared here to good use! Good luck!