Protecting myself and my future as a farmers wife?

[DahliaBr]

Hoping someone can relate or offer some advice.

I am happily married to a farmer. We live in a house with our child and another on the way. Our house is owned by the farm and the farm is currently owned by my husband’s father.
My husband’s father who’s in his 60s still won’t let go of the farm and hand it over to my husband.
Recently my husband’s parents have become very toxic towards me. I feel they are not happy that I am pregnant again because it takes my husband away from the farm to take care of our children. They have openly attacked me over with their toxic opinion's about women having children. There has been a lot of negative behaviour towards which has made me feel very sad and insecure about my security here living on the farm. My husband protects me and supports me but my worry is what if something happened to my husband.
How would I protect myself and my children? I have become especially worried since they have become toxic towards me.
What rights do I have? Is there anything I can do to protect myself?

I literally own nothing or have anything to secure myself.

If your husband owns the land, can you have him put you on as a joint owner so that it becomes yours if anything happens to him?

Alternatively, could he sell an acre or two so that you could use the funds for a deposit on a property of your own?

Or! Could you use a half acre to build a home? Not sure how that works in England but very common practice in Ireland.

PS if you build, use the land furthest away from the ILs!

I’m nhs and my death in service is twice my annual salary ? Where do they offer 4x ?

They can’t just hand over the farm without triggering a huge tax bill.

@PauliesWalnuts The law changed radically regarding farming assets being passed on. It contributed to Farmers suicide rates and it was already quite high just before the tax law changed in 2024, Starmer admitted he knew it was a risk.

He’s got land
She’s got a job.

Well of course that post was helpful. It was giving you a perspective of farmers. I do wonder, despite your marriage into a farming family, just how much you understand about that commitment.

Thank you. Even if a stranger you have helped me feel a little better. :)

You need to cover the things a “normal employer” would cover so as a starter for 10;
Life insurance/death in service - I’ve had everything from 2x salary to 10x salary over different employers
Pension - 4% matched contribution (so 8% of total gross income) seems to be a baseline
National insurance contributions - if you aren’t registered for child benefit do so to get your stamp!
Also think about putting any assets you do have in joint names, taking out critical illness cover for both of you and writing wills. In a cash poor, asset rich situation like farming please don’t rely on marriage to protect you should the worst happen and you lose your husband.

I’ve no idea I thought this was standard? I work in East Midlands

Still not helpful

Very helpful, thank you. Took a screenshot of this.
I have never set up life insurance before. Do I do that online or through a financial advisor? Thanks again

re death in service the actual amount is
2 x annual salary but in addition there is the extra amount paid monthly to your partner /spouse/kids and I’m sure someone said all that equates to about 4 times annual salary but it should all be on your total rewards benefits.

people always say I’m not sure I can afford life cover but the question needs spinning round as in can you afford not to have it and especially in the case of @DahliaBr you also need to be thinking about not just life cover but critical illness cover too. Particularly important for self employed people x

How do I get life insurance/critical illness cover if self employed? Is it all on the internet or do I need to visit an advisor? Thanks

Your husband’s employer - either his own company if he is self employed or the farm business owned by his father if that employs him - should provide life insurance for your husband, with you as the beneficiary for the payout should the worst happen. Or your husband can take out a policy as an individual, again with you as the beneficiary - you can shop around for a policy, you could start by asking your bank. I think all farmers should have life insurance as part of their benefits package, many do, but that depends on his employment arrangements. I would say a policy for yourself is less vital in this situation as you are the financial dependant.

We got ours thru an independant financial advisor who also sorted our mortgages and pensions and stuff as they can advise about products available and what is best for your needs but plenty of people buy policies from companies like Aviva online too.

When my DH was self employed he just took personal life cover through Hiscox, it’s like my other insurance you just need to decide the amounts. We both had cover to make sure that he would have child care covered if I died and I had a house if he died (SAHM)!

Thank you. I think this is the best answer and the has the information I need.

Would you even want to stay in the house if he passed?

Also there is lots in news about farmers and inheritance laws

I would try and get a houses sorted away from the farm and land.

Lots of thinking and being organised

If you don't pay rent on the house, is there any chance that you and your husband could jointly buy a house with a view to renting it out to cover the mortgage? Perhaps in a few years you could work and contribute towards the mortgage. If that's not an option, could your husband have a frank discussion with his parents telling them that you BOTH need some security, especially with young children. Is your husband an only child or does he have siblings who also work on the farm? His parents are being terribly manipulative and I would try to give them a wide berth, if possible.

I think you have had good advice from the poster you screenshotted above to get legal advice on the full situation. It’s hard to advise without the full picture eg how does your husband own the land, is there a partnership? Is the land outside the partnership? What does “the farm business” consist of without the land?
You will get a great deal of outdated, patriarchal advice from the majority of the farming community. For example the poster saying you should not expect to be able to work or share the load of parenting with your DH - well, what is that poster proposing you do to protect yourself in that situation, what recompense should you get? Or should you just suck it up for the sake of the “farm”, which is currently owned by a toxic old man who doesn’t like you - what sort of advice is that 🤣
It’s a very bad idea for farmers not to have a clear succession plan in the current tax environment, posters outraged at the thougnt your PILS might be expected to pass the farm on now are overlooking the vast probability that your PILs inherited it themselves rather than worked for it - that’s how land ownership generally works in this country!!

@Lostthetastefordahlias has some excellent advice @DahliaBr but also check & see if your bank account has any extras with it - sometimes insurance is one of these. And glad I’ve been a little help to you! Your husband sounds like he’s doing a fab job managing everything, & having your back when it comes to his parents. Alongside finances, toxic relationships with people who are marrying in to the farming family seems to be all too common, & I wish I could offer you some words of wisdom there. I think that all the farming family sees is losing their free/cheap labour, not an extra person joining the fold who might have really useful skills to bring to the party (as they say!). So resentment builds from an already twisted viewpoint, & because you’re living & working on top of each other there’s no escape, no breathing space. The perfect breeding ground for toxicity! Un-Mumsnetty hugs 🤗

Some good advice here, especially about critical illness and life insurance. Your farmer's union might be able to help with specialist coverage as farming is obviously more dangerous than a desk job.
After that you have a few other issues, firstly the land in his sole name, you could think about transferring this into joint tenancy where each person gets everything automatically on the death of the other, rather than tenants in common, where you retain distinct portions on death. This will mean if the worst comes to the worst and they turf you out, you have land to either borrow against or can sell up to raise for somewhere to live.
I take it you aren't a farmer so won't be farming it yourself in your husband were to die? This may mean that the business will be working as a sort of tenant farmer, but the agreement your FIL and DH have will need to be gone over in detail as regards to working the land in the event that something happens to him, who has tenancy rights etc may be complicated.
Finally I would see a local, good solicitor recommended by another farmer to get wills done and check all the agreements as well as go over any potential inheritance tax considerations that you might have.

How is the land owned? Solely by your husband or is he in partnership with his parents? Does the partnership own the land perhaps?
Has your husband thought about bringing you in to the business? Do you do any farming? Bookkeeping for him etc?
Could you be made a partner?

If your DH actually owns a lot of land which I think you said upthread, then if he dies before you, surely it would become yours even without a will. If you were to split up, presumably half his assets would be yours. You could do with some professional financial advice, OP.

@DahliaBr Your dh needs to get the business organised efficiently for tax. How has he got land without a share in the farming business? They have no business without his land. It looks like they are employing him to farm his own land. This doesn’t sound right to me. His land should mean it’s his business.

It’s very normal to discuss succession on farming families. It’s not an expectation that older people retire but they hand over assets. They can become the employees.

Paying rent on what is, in effect, a tied cottage is not what farmers do. It comes with the job. Essentially this cannot be sorted out by the op. Her dh is the one who needs to speak to his parents. He and Op need to see specialist farming advisers and have a sensible plan for succession for the business.

As a tax adviser - we would only be able to advise on OP and her husbands position. We would absolutely not be able to make comment on the PILs estates and potential outcomes on their deaths. Just to clarify! 😊