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Original poster

Should my husband be asking my parents for inheritance money now?

341 replies

Wwe175 · 13/04/2026 16:10

My parents are of an age to be doing IHT planning. They have not decided on anything yet.
I know my OH and I have much more money than my brother and his wife, and a much fancier lifestyle. My brother just moved house. He’s a contented person. He and his OH are quite happy doing the house up slowly, at his own pace, though it does need some work.
My OH just told my parents that they were on course to be the richest corpses in the graveyard. He suggested them giving my brother £100k right now to help him employ decorators, replace windows and install a new kitchen more quickly.
Then my OH told my parents that if they do, he will fight them for £100k for me now, too. We don’t even need the money. I am worried he’s making my parents think he’s greedy and they might change their plans. My parents say they are ignoring it but I think they are cross.
I want OH and me to be a team and I want to involve him in financial discussions with my parents. But I am uncomfortable with this.
I think my OH needs to take his lead from me and not ask my parents for money.
Thoughts please?

OP posts:
Crikeyalmighty · 13/04/2026 18:15

Imisscoffee2021 · 13/04/2026 18:07

Holy shit, is this real??

How a) tacky and rude and b) what if they need money for their care/medical help for any future issues? I had a rich uncle who needed all his money in the end to pay for private treatment for mesothelioma, if he'd give it away earlier he'd have lost his life alot earlier too.

It's up to your brother and them to decide tonrelease some early inheritance to help him out, why does your OH think he is the machiavelli of the family?

Indeed - my fIL is 86 and great for his age and he’s been offering left right and centre to pass money over both to us and our 27 year old son - now we are early 60s and rent so yes it would be very welcome but have said no - for one thing he isn’t at the IHT level even factoring in his house and double allowance ( widower) and I would rather he had at least 18 months worth of cash accessible for if he needed care - be it residential or home, it gives a lot more options -

Firesidechatter · 13/04/2026 18:16

Omg that’s shocking, he basically went to them ans demanded a hundred grand for himself. I’d end my marriage over this. All the noise on your brother and you, that’s what he did, he went to them and demanded he get his hands on 100k

how can you even look at him?

youalright · 13/04/2026 18:16

Feelingworried26 · 13/04/2026 18:11

This is a wind-up, right? If OP was describing a real situation she would have been engaging with the responses.

I hope so I always imagine the staff at mumsnet thinking up crazy scenarios and thinking this will get them all going and laughing as they do it. The more interaction the more money

NarnianQueen · 13/04/2026 18:17

It IS incredibly cheeky and rude of him, not to mention disrespectful doing it without discussing it with you first…. BUT…. Are your parents falling into that “boomer” stereotype of watching their offspring struggle, with an attitude of “you’ll get my money when I’m dead” when it would be of much more use to them right now? If so I can see the frustration!

Firesidechatter · 13/04/2026 18:19

NarnianQueen · 13/04/2026 18:17

It IS incredibly cheeky and rude of him, not to mention disrespectful doing it without discussing it with you first…. BUT…. Are your parents falling into that “boomer” stereotype of watching their offspring struggle, with an attitude of “you’ll get my money when I’m dead” when it would be of much more use to them right now? If so I can see the frustration!

Wtaf, they aren’t entitled to their money. God how grabby.

truepenguin · 13/04/2026 18:23

What is 'of an age?' 90? In which case, pretty pointless due to surviving 7 years. Or actually, in their 40s or 50s, which is a perfectly sensible time to start IHT planning, and statistically plenty of corpse-free years yet to spend their money on living their lives.

Walig54 · 13/04/2026 18:25

Was he joking? Bad one in anyone's eyes.
Have your divorce papers been completed on line?

Pearshapedpear · 13/04/2026 18:26

‘Fight them’ LTB with bells on

GardenCovent · 13/04/2026 18:27

Goodness op I could not be with someone like this.
He honestly said that to YOUR parents?
If I were your parents I’d be telling him to fuck off and putting a clause in the will that he is not to get a penny.
I honestly can’t believe what I’ve read

daisychain01 · 13/04/2026 18:27

My OH just told my parents that they were on course to be the richest corpses in the graveyard.

just pulling this corker out of your OP and to ask you why are you married to this jerk and how can you possibly love him saying what he said to anyone, least of all his parents.

do you really not see the reality?!? Or don't you even care as long as you get the money....

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 13/04/2026 18:27

I would be seeking to divorce my husband asap in these circumstances so that he couldn't get his grubby paws on any of my parents' money.

I am struggling to believe that anyone could be so fucking entitled.

SparklyBrickViper · 13/04/2026 18:30

Dear Lord! I’ve got the ick for your OH without even meeting him.

Totally overstepping, and quite honestly pretty disgusting.

If it actually happened I’d make damn sure it never happened again.

StarSpangledSpam · 13/04/2026 18:32

bugalugs45 · 13/04/2026 16:12

Jesus Christ, he’d be my ex husband before he could blink if he spoke to my parents like that !
How rude 😳

First post nails it!!

My jaw dropped at his downright bloody rudeness!! Dear God… is he normally like this?
Who the hell does he think he is “fighting “ your poor parents for their money?
I’d be down at the solicitors pronto to make sure he never saw a damn penny!!

Hailstoness · 13/04/2026 18:33

Your husband is so low class and you should be beyond mortified and furious at the cheek of him.

If I was your parents I would be utterly appalled that you had married such a vulgar twat.

I 100% would be skipping you both and leaving any inheritance to any grandchildren.

He has made a complete holy show of himself and you.

Wake up.
You seriously married down.

I wouldn't ever forgive that.

PrincessoftheManor · 13/04/2026 18:34

Fuck me hes a cheeky bastard.

HorrorPudding · 13/04/2026 18:38

He is right in principle about spending some money now and helping your DB but he shouldn’t even be having the conversation with YOUR parents. I’m not surprised they’re annoyed and it may be a red flag for them.

If I was your parents I’d now be thinking about way of protecting your inheritance such as a Trust, just to be sure your DH, in the event of you inheriting (no guarantees of course), doesn’t “take charge” and you find yourself with no agency (and possibly no money). I’d be concerned that the vocabulary he uses (“fighting” for £100k) will also have implications for your DB later when he discovers your DH has decided what’s good for both of you or decides is all about being aggressive.

Whatever else you do stop involving him in any conversations with your parents, it’s none of his business. Don’t discuss it with him, he doesn’t need to know.

SoulFood · 13/04/2026 18:49

My thoughts? What a piece of shit! And... you should divorce him

Random321 · 13/04/2026 18:52

WTF?

If I was your parents, I would be now be speaking with the solicitors asking how I can leave you money in a trust, only accessible to allow you get back on your feet, when you get the courage to leave this awful man.

VWT7 · 13/04/2026 18:55

Your parents will very likely never ever forget or overcome what your DH has said…
He should not have expressed an opinion - at all.

PotatoLove · 13/04/2026 18:55

Wow, what a cheeky cunt!

Sowhat1976 · 13/04/2026 18:58

What a walker. Its their money. How dare he suggest who they give it too. he will fight them for £100k for me now, too. Who thecfuck does he think he is. He will fight them for their mmoney.if I was them I'd gift it to the dogs home rather than him getting his grubby hands on a penny. How do you even look at him with his extended grabby long hand trying to pick your elderly parents pockets. 🤢 I'd talk to a solicitor about how you protect your inheritance from him. He's way to invested.

Beeloux · 13/04/2026 18:59

How utterly ghastly.

I’d be divorcing him and getting a divorce asap including a clean break order. No doubt if you get the inheritance and divorce, he will go after half of it, which he’ll be entitled too.

IWishItWasAutumnEveryday · 13/04/2026 19:02

Wwe175 · 13/04/2026 16:10

My parents are of an age to be doing IHT planning. They have not decided on anything yet.
I know my OH and I have much more money than my brother and his wife, and a much fancier lifestyle. My brother just moved house. He’s a contented person. He and his OH are quite happy doing the house up slowly, at his own pace, though it does need some work.
My OH just told my parents that they were on course to be the richest corpses in the graveyard. He suggested them giving my brother £100k right now to help him employ decorators, replace windows and install a new kitchen more quickly.
Then my OH told my parents that if they do, he will fight them for £100k for me now, too. We don’t even need the money. I am worried he’s making my parents think he’s greedy and they might change their plans. My parents say they are ignoring it but I think they are cross.
I want OH and me to be a team and I want to involve him in financial discussions with my parents. But I am uncomfortable with this.
I think my OH needs to take his lead from me and not ask my parents for money.
Thoughts please?

I wouldn't have to say owt to my OH if he spoke like that to my mum because she would tell him to fuck off herself.
He's a cheeky cunt!

catownerofthenorth · 13/04/2026 19:04

I think you SHOULD ask your parents for some cash actually - for a divorce or a hitman, you choose.

😬
the hitman suggestion is a JOKE before anybody has spasms

but seriously he’s out of order. So either he shows insight or you show him the door

Elsvieta · 13/04/2026 19:05

"Fight them"... for their money? What would that consist of, precisely?

If I were them I'd leave half to your brother and half to a cats' home. If they haven't yet told him where to go (in language that would make a navvy blush), they must be candidates for sainthood.