Are we crap with money?

[Absolutleynot]

Hoping to settle a difference of opinion between me and DH. We have a joint income of around 4500 per month. Bills are around 1500 inc mortgage then on top of that theres childcare at 200 pm, car finance at 150 and his child maintance to his ex at 150. We run two cars. We have around 5k in savings and i feel we should have more. He thinks we are good with money and there are no issues.

Do you not check your bank statements each month and analyse what you are spending. We have no money issues but have always done monthly and annual budgets to keep an eye on our spending, savings and investments.

I mean I get why people are saying it’s low- it’s basically £2250 each a month which is a £30k annual income each. It’s not a high income. It doesn’t leave much to play with after these cost of living hikes.

It's MN low. Most of the population have less than that.

There is no way in hell that i'd be able to get my husband on board with that!. If i'm honest i do know where a lot of the extra money is going per month, on nice things like coffee, food out etc and i'll sometimes buy lunch at work. The thing is that i want to change things to do better so we can have more money for the bigger things but my DH doesnt see the issue and doesn't really want to change. We do both have pensions, life insurance etc.

If you don’t know where £2500 a month is going then yes you’re bad with money.

Aldo £5k savings is not a lot - it’s just over 1 month’s income.

I would want 6 months money hold it in a cash isa) and an emergency fund of £3k for car issues or a broken boiler.

It really isn't tho. Min wage take home on 40 hours a week is about £1800. x 2 = £3600 – nearly £1k less than the OP has.

I am assuming these are net figures btw – they need to be as that's what you are working with.

@Absolutleynot your bills – do they include petrol, car expenses such as service and repairs, food? If not then you don’t really have £2500 spare. If those elements are included then yes, where is that money going?

Food for a family of three and pets could easily be £100+ pw; petrol depends ho far your commutes are but could be £50 pw for two cars; car bills I would allow at least £200 pm – right there I have added up £800 pm minimum. Add in a meal out and new clothes or shoes and it soon mounts up.

Agree with others – write down exactly what you are spending and you might be shocked.

ETA why would your DH not be on board with a spend analysis? It might free up some ££ to do things he would like rather than just random spends that could be avoided.

It’s hard to comment in any meaningful way unless you clarify what the "bills" includes.

If you can’t get your DH on board with tracking your spending/ budgeting, I would just set up savings direct debits. He can’t spend it if he can’t access it! I direct debit all my savings and investments the same day bills go out so the money left in my account is “spending money”.

It’s easy to say where does the money go, but kids suddenly need things paid, or you have to pay parking or something breaks and needs replacing etc etc etc. I don’t think life is as easy as bills plus savings equals pay!!

Basically you are both crap with money if you’re not tracking spending. Have you done long term financial planning? Are your savings and pensions hitting your goals?

Without tracking spending how do you budget for larger expenditure on things like new furniture, moving house, cars or holidays?

I agree it's a low income but it is worrying you don't know where £2.5k is going every month. Do you not look at your bank statements?

There are apps that can aggregate your income and outgoings from various banks plus provide a suggested categorisation so you can quickly and easily see where your money is going.

I definitely recommend using one, mine cost £17 a year and saved us much more than that. Unfortunately it no longer exists so can't recommend but there are others out there.

Wow! Pays his ex a whole £150 per month, whilst wasting £2500 on nothing. He is definitely a keeper.

£150 in maintenance doesn’t seem much.

it’s basically £2250 each a month which is a £30k annual income each

30k is more like 2100 a month before pensions/student loan deductions.

We dont really have long term goals. I would like some but DH doesnt really see a plan for the future or set goals, although i would like to hes just a very low effort go with the flow kind of person. But as we approach our mid-forties i'm starting to think differently. I think i can get him on board but he is comfortable with our current spending habits.

So @Absolutleynot are you going to give us the lowdown about the bills? What does that figure include?

Yes is your answer when you don’t know where exactly £30,000 goes during the course of a year. The good news is that you can easily change your habits by tracking your spending, cutting some expenditure and perhaps taking on extra work.

And no, a £4.5k monthly net household income from two adults who work full-time isn’t average - it’s below that.

That was my first thought.

And you are definitley an arsehole! Its a private agreement between them..there's always one on mumsnet!
I came here looking for advice not this mindless crap. We both waste money that much is clear i was just looking for some reassurance (or not) that we could do better.

We have similar income, and our mortgage is £1k. Two DCs and a dog. We have one overseas holiday and one uk holiday a year, and save around £1000 per month. However, I buy most of our clothes on Vinted, secondhand school uniforms, very rarely get coffees when we are out, and we drive an old car that was paid in cash. I am pretty careful with money because both DCs would like to go to university, and I really don’t want them to limit their choices to the cheapest places to live.

Just mortgage, gas, electric,water. Car tax car finance payment. Mobile phones tv subscriptions etc.
Does not include fuel, food etc. So i can see how bills of 1500 isnt really accurate

I think that 1k a month is what i would like for us to save and i love your attitude towards money. Well done.
I do buy clothes on vinted and in the sales.

My Lloyds Bank app does this automatically on my current account under a section called 'spending insights' which breaks it down by category; it compares to previous months, so for example, it will tell you if you have spent more on clothes, groceries, restaurants, etc. It is really interesting. I am always trying to get through a month without buying books from the charity shops!

why would you assume this?? Maybe they have 50:50 custody??

OK so you certainly don’t have anything like £2,500 spare a month.

You need to add up:

• food costs pm - could be £400 or more. If it's a lot more this can be cut
• petrol costs
• ££ for car repairs and servicing – depends on mileage and type of car– my car is very cheap for tyres but bc of the miles I do I have it serviced twice a year and replace tyres about every 18mo. I reckon I spend about £1.2k a year maintaining my car (inc tax and MoT but not petrol). Yours may be less
• ££ for kids uniform, clubs, shoes, clothes
• ££ for Christmas (best spread over the year) and birthdays/parties
• ££ for walkaround money (this can be like £20 pp pw or less but I do think it's needed)
• ££ for going out – could include family days out, cinema, meals out (again this can be low but does need to be there)

Once you have calculated all that out, how much do you have left? That's what you could save. And if any of the figures above are high (eg food is £600+) then there's a possible saving as well. HTH