money help from bf (and dating while on uc)

[theworldisdoomed]

is help from a boyfriend allowed ? My rent isn’t fully covered and, including bills, I’m left with about an £800 shortfall. He doesn’t live with me — we’re not at that stage, and maybe won’t be until I’m back in work. It’s obviously difficult to start a relationship while on benefits, so I just want to understand what support is allowed.
and maybe hear some dating advice
thank you

So you’re already dating someone who you hope will subside you? Why are you not working?

why are you £800 short?

You can’t take a man’s money to cover your bills 🤦‍♀️ you need to sort out your own finances.

no, thats why we dont live together. Im aware of strange old fashion approach that couples should make a join claim (absurd). im looking for work. I have 2 degrees etc but im socially awkward (lets say quirky, I do have papers for it). obviously it cannot be long term arrangement, but he has strong believe that ill find work.

well, somehow dwp thinks you should.

in london uc very rarely covers full rent

it doesn’t sound like you can afford London. Most people can’t.

£800 shortfall every single month? Where are you currently getting that from?

£800 is a large shortfall and unsustainable. Is the property larger than your defined need? If you are not in a full time relationship why do you think he will subsidise you with no strings attached? If he pays that much dwp may well ask questions as to your relationship.

as i said in the post i had saving, credit cards, and family. im stuck with the contract for another 6 months. Ive been looking for other flats, but its virtually impossible to find anything cheaper. uc covers about 600f for a room and 1k for a flat. a room cost 1k

That rather depends though. Ds rents in London zone 3 for about £1600 for two bed so there are certainly cheaper one beds than yours. Is £800 the majority of your rent? What about CT and bills?

i live in zone 2. the rent is 1.8k, below market rate. I had a good job, and high salary and an ex bf.
Honestly dating with high salary was challenging often, boys felt insecure.

uc would still be 1k or less in zone 3.

and a small detail - its a council building, obvs privately own flat. council rate is below 600f a month.

I’m not getting this are you saying you have committed to rent in London for the next 6 months but aren’t working and facing a 800 shortfall every month? Surely if you have no job now you need to focus on that now. I assume your flat hasn’t room for a lodger. Can you move back in with family as I can’t see how you can sustain this on limited income/ savings. If you had a good job degrees etc what happened? In terms of government help then entitled to has good calculators.

If you are in UC and not living together than I don’t see how you can make a joint claim. He’s a boy friend not a meal ticket. He’s sensible in telling you to look for employment. If you aren’t employed and on UC then I assume you are already meeting with job centre advisors.

You never mentioned anything about family, credit cards, or savings. Well, not until this post.

A live-in partner of several decades supporting you while you’re out of work? Sure. A new boyfriend you don’t live with? Absolutely not. It’s completely unreasonable to even consider that he would. There are one bed flats in zone 4 available for about £1200 or rooms in house shares for £850-900, I appreciate there’d still be a shortfall but it wouldn’t be £800. You need to move to a cheaper borough.

Nope. Whole thing doesn't make sense.
Start again from the beginning. What was your previous situation, what's the current situation, and why the drastic change? Is your boyfriend offering to help you out, and to what extent?

She doesn’t want to make a joint claim. She just wants his money without it changing her UC claim.

Yes then I must live in a totally diffferent world what kind of bloke has 800 a month to sub a girlfriend who isn’t working but choosing to rent an expensive flat in London ok she had a good job etc but obviously something changed and why would any woman put herself in such a vulnerable position. What if he stops subbing her demands the money back it’s not a secure relationship makes no sense.

Hope he runs and doesn't stop.

But she’s “quirky” (and has the papers to prove it, whatever that means?)

Papers? What papers? I’d prioritise getting any job you can so you can pay your own way. It’s very risky to get a new boyfriend to support you, I’d question your motives and his intentions.

You've already asked this?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/feminism/5436185-relationships-on-uc

Well if you have a 800 rent shortfall every month that you can’t pay can’t see you keeping the flat for much longer contract or not.

For a high paying job you don’t seem to have accumulated much reserves. It feels as if you might have been living beyond your means in your quest for a bf. How long ago did you lose this job and if it was professional could you do agency work or short term contracts to fill the gap?