money help from bf (and dating while on uc)

[theworldisdoomed]

is help from a boyfriend allowed ? My rent isn’t fully covered and, including bills, I’m left with about an £800 shortfall. He doesn’t live with me — we’re not at that stage, and maybe won’t be until I’m back in work. It’s obviously difficult to start a relationship while on benefits, so I just want to understand what support is allowed.
and maybe hear some dating advice
thank you

Speak to your landlord and explain you can’t afford the rent anymore and ask if you can end the tenancy and move out to avoid being in arrears.

I tend to pay loans and debt immediately - hence high credit card limit. Never had been in debt before in my life.

A boyfriend of 4 months has offered to give you 800 a month??

I’m flabbergasted as well!

Did you stop to think that it could possibly of been a year contract on the flat, when Op took on the tenancy she had a high paying job and for whatever reason has lost her job for whatever reason and still has 6 months left on the contract so she can’t just move out? Maybe she didn’t put herself in this position but circumstances changed and she found herself in this position?

Its the end of zone 2. its a council block. council rate is 600F.
Right to buy made this flat 1.8k
I went for SWAP jobs offers from JC, no luck so far.

Im sorry that you have got yourself into this mess but every post shows you are dismissing people trying to help, surely you can see that you can’t stay in this flat and racking up credit card debt. Take the obvious step now contact your landlord ask if you can move back to your family London flats I’m sure are in demand so he’s likely to secure another tennant.. Short term with family start addressing your health issues with your family support. Once you are not having to find insane amounts of money and running up debt you will feel better.

I don’t think I or any other posters have suggested you are ugly and that is why your job hunt is unsuccessful, what an odd comment. What support are you getting for your nd and social skills? I suspect you may be misunderstanding your bfs very early in the relationships, high earner or not, or they you. How long did your job last , had you worked prior to that? Paying loans off with cc is just switching one debt for another.

If this is true, he needs some friends to shake sense into him. Madness.

It's probably your attitude that makes you unsuccessful at job interviews.

Who pays for drinks when on a date?
How do you split bills and rent with a partner?
Do you always go 50/50?

I was told i was too nervous and jittery.

Why are you asking about splitting rent a partner who lives with you in a long term relationship is entirely different to your situation. You rent a flat relying on UC and credit cards. You do not need someone to pay you 800 a month towards rent you aren’t working so you do not need live in central london.

We recently moved from London to Somerset. (Housing costs weren't the reason, we bought mid 90s and cleared our mortgage, we just wanted a new life.)

We moved temporarily into rented while we looked to buy. We had a years tenancy agreement. We actually bought somewhere within 8 months, and managed to get out of the remainder of the tenancy, though it cost us 2;weeks rent. Speak to your estate agent and/or landlord, you may be able to get out early.

I did not have any loans. Not for long anyways.
Psychiatry UK does not offer therapy. They provide letters for employers and meds.

It looks more like bashing.
I did not expect to be without work this long.
I sold furniture and expensive stuff bought with my ex bf.
Moving out its not an option.
The question is about money going into account and DWP.

Has the boyfriend offered to give you this money?
If he has, (not sure why anyone would do this) call UC and ask them directly.
Ask if they also require you to declare the earnings from selling the fetish photos to them, and to HMRC.

If there was a thread where a woman wrote that a brand new boyfriend was asking for her to give him £800 a month there would be uproar.

Um at least read rhe ops posts.

Yes, especially after 4 months. Absolutely. If he was my friend, he'd be told to give his head a wobble about paying rent for a place he doesn't live in, that's for sure.

‘Bashing’ . Part of ADHD is to take everything as a criticism. It is incredibly difficult to advise anything to those with ADHD without them getting offended.

I did, thanks.

But there are plenty of other charities who do offer support. Who funds your meds, as that is not purely an NHS organisation. You mentioned no loans, cc is a form of a loan.

Cant offer too much advice but I give you lots of sympathy as you wade through the posts that dont understand that you cant cut short a fixed term tenancy and cut your rent. There are some very ignorent people who have no idea how rents work these days

I did not demand anything.
We are in late 40's. You dont go on dates forever at that age.
He talks about living together.
At what point do you move in together?
How do you split bills and rent?

He can do things like take you food shopping and pay etc ?