Buying a house with partner who has children with ex

[Kjv83]

So I am just about to buy a house with my partner. We are going in 50/50. He has children from his ex partner but I dont have any and we wont have any of our own in the future. Am I being unreasonable by saying I want his half of the house signed over to me in the event of his death and not the children? They only live with us 8 days a month so its not like they will be homeless. As far as I am concerned, if one of us dies then it should go to the other person to alleviate the pressure of selling the house whilst grieving etc which is ultimately what would have to happen. Plus if he left his half to the kids then I would want to leave mine to a third party meaning we could both be in a situation where we would be homeless in the event of death. If its signed over to the survivor and we had a life insurance policy covering x amount to pay towards the mortgage to reduce it by the half that the deceased was paying then all would be good. The added complication is that I am needing heart surgery due to a childhood defect so getting life insurance is going to be a mission..... I have a group life policy through work which he is a beneficiary of which I guess may have to do? Basically, I am stuck in quandrey as I feel like people will think im being selfish but I relinquish any responsibility for the children and he knows that, I dont see why they should benefit from me. He can have a separate life insurance payable to them. Is it as straight forward as I think? Legal advise is just a minefield 😫 has anyone been in same position?

None of this is about “protecting your financial interest in a property you will jointly own”. It’s about you trying to prevent him from protecting his financial interest in that property and trying to persuade him not to leave his assets to his children if he predeceases you.

You are very disingenuous and it’s not fooling anybody.

Its a term. Look it up 👍 your posts are boring me now. You cant teach stupid

No i disagree that the kids get the house on his death if I am still living in it. Which he agrees with. So poke it 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Now you’re describing his children as “third parties”.

The way you speak about them is verging on sociopathic.

Poor man. What a mistake he is making.

It doesn’t appear you have needed any teaching to become this way: you appear to be like this innately.

Every one is a third party over me and him you uneducated fool you are testing my patience now so kindly feck off and get on with your day you absolute loser.

It appears to be a “term” disparaging women who are the main caregiver and provider for their children. How unpleasant. Again, you reveal yourself very clearly in these posts.

I can see clearly you don't have children, is not domestic mother, is mother. You are saying you don't have empathy for them ergo you don't want to be their mother then why call their mother domestic mother like she is less than a mother? I don't understand why you hate her so much, thanks to them having problems and separating he met you. She is not even trying for you to look after their children if she dies, she prefers her DP than the children's dad (I wonder why, maybe she is worried you will treat them badly when she is not here?)

I see. So you make callous comments about his children, admit you lack any empathy, despise his children, think you are entitled to a partner’s financial assets, write sexist and derogatory things about his children’s mother, and are also abusive to complete strangers if they disagree with you.

What a catch you are!

I dont give a hoot who or what she is. I dont despise her. She has nothing to do with me or my partner. We respect eachother for the sake of the kids which is the main thing. She, me or my partner shouldn't be in question here now have a good day

@AgathaCristina

Of course people will question it if you write a thread full of disrespectful and callous comments about your partner’s children on a public forum - particularly when the topic of your post is about you wanting him to reallocate his children’s inheritance to you - and then you describe the children’s mother in a dehumanising manner as a thing rather than a person (“I don’t care who or what she is”), call her “their domestic mother” and claim she is “jealous” of you; and then you call other posters “stupid”, “fools”, “uneducated” and “losers” because, inevitably, people have pointed out that your behaviour is abhorrent and questioned why you are in a relationship with a man with children when you clearly resent and dislike them.

Frankly, you don’t sound like a kind or pleasant person or someone with a good moral compass, and alarm bells should be ringing for your partner given that before you even move to a shared property together you’re already scheming about how to ensure that his assets aren’t passed on to his children when he dies.

I have great morals and am a kind generous person hence the reason why he is with me but thanks for your concern 😂 he loves me more than he ever loved his ex wife which he tells me on a daily and I go to bed every night feeling happy about that 🥰 he has no concerns about my thoughts or feelings so not sure why u do. Its weird

@TheClaaaw Don’t you think the partner is probably the same though and is painting the mum of dc in a poor light? Takes two to tango: two unpleasant people are attracted to each other.

LOL.

Why are you so desperate to try to compete with his ex-wife and portray yourself as superior to her? Your posts are very immature: the kind of comments one would expect from someone in their late teens.

That’s what’s really weird.

As is you being surprised that a man who is in a relationship with you has told you that he prefers you to his ex who has divorced him, and you thinking this is some kind of supreme compliment and means that you are objectively superior to her in every way. 😆 What did you expect he would say? “Oh no, actually sweetheart she was far more intelligent/ kinder/ funnier/ more beautiful/ better in bed than you. I just had to settle for what I could get after she divorced me”?!

Thank you, you’ve given me a good laugh this afternoon.

If you buy as joint tenants the property automatically reverts to the surviving tenants on the death of the first tenant. It does not form part of their estate so your partner could not leave any part of the property to his children in his will. Likewise, if you died first the whole house would automatically be owned by your partner.

I dont need to compete! Just because i dont have children i am more than a woman than she will ever be and would never conduct myself the way she does or hurt people like she does but like I said I am not here to out her. He wishes he never met her or had her children and had mine instead but unfortunately he cannot turn back the clocks and has to deal with the consequences. He left her. Not the other way round. Its not him saying these things through bitterness like you make out. At the end of the day this thread is not about me, him or her, that was never the point. U made it that way. Thanks for keeping me entertained whilst I watch my partners children enjoying themselves karting which he funds and I support though 👍 he is sat here laughing along with this too 🤣enjoy your weekend as Will I

Quite possibly. He may be as unpleasant as the OP as you say, and they deserve each other; or maybe just very naive; or perhaps very desperate. 😆 Who knows?

😆😆😆😆

This is what we were planning to do but he rightfully wants the kids to have something from it when we both die so will need to go tenants in common alongside the necessary paperwork

Maybe it’s all a wind up and a parody? Hard to conceive of it being real the more the OP writes as it would be so embarrassing otherwise. Amusing, though!

And he will tell the next one the same. We always love more our actual partners than former ones. It seems you have issues with your partner past specially his children and his ex. You should do therapy and get rid of these toxic feelings of jealousy .

No jealousy I am far superior to her in every way. There also wont be next one for him, he couldn't be any more devoted to me or vice versa if he tried. Sounds like you are jealous of our love and comfortable life he says.... maybe hes right

LOL. Superior in what? Not in manners and humbleness as you dont have any. 😂
You must be a teenager or a very bored adult with mental problems.

This has to be a troll, I can't believe someone like OP exist.