Would you pay all the bills, to allow DH to retire?

[retirementislooming]

I'm really torn as to what is the right thing to do here. Would love opinions.

Been with DH for 17 years. He works in a high stress, life or death job, and to be honest, he is close to burn out. It's shift work. He is knackered most of the time. He would like to retire at 55, which is about 2.5 years away.

He would have a lump sum to invest, of circa £72k. But his monthly income from his pension would only be £900pm.

I am going to draw my pension at the same time as him (I'm older). This is a pension I had from an employed position for 27 years, but I am self employed now and will carry on working.

My lump sum, plus other stuff coming to fruition in a couple of years, will mean that by then, I should have £165k lump sum, which I plan to put into NS&I. My pension income will be £1000pm, which I will feed into the NS&I.

My self employed business brings in around £2500-£4000 a month (seasonal).

Our household bills will be £500pm, plus food and alcohol, so about £1000 a month. No commuting, as I WFH, and mortgage will be finished.

So, my question is, even though we have never combined finances, should I support us both with the income from my business?

On the one hand, I feel that if he paid half of the bills, then he would probably have to put in £500pm, only leaving him £400pm left to play with, and this might push him back into work (which I definitely don't want), on the other hand, would I be crazy to pay all the bills from my ongoing self employed business?

I should add, that my business is not hard work particularly, and with him at home, and helping me with it, I would feel semi retired myself.

I feel like I can't see the wood for the trees.

A - he should retire and your business should cover all bills & food

B - he should contribute

Another salient point, is that he is due to inherit substantially in the future. At which point we could go back to 50/50, but this won't be for many years yet (by the looks of things).

Lastly, we do not share children. Mine are grown and flown. He has none.

on the other hand, would I be crazy to pay all the bills from my ongoing self employed business?

Why would it be crazy? You’ve been married almost 2 decades! Haven’t you had a bit of give and take in that time?
Your income ranges from 3.5k to 5k a month, seems like more then enough to cover the bills given there’s no mortgage.

If he got a different job he possibly wouldn't be so burnt out / stressed. 55 is young to be retired and spending your money shouldn't be an option for him.

I’ve just realised this is the second post you’ve made on this.
Is there a reason you keep posting the same thing basically?

He cannot afford to retire at 55 on £900 a month until he is 67 ? and receives a full state pension of £880 ish ( currently )

he certainly can't afford to travel ! whilst supporting himself on £900 a month

so it's a part time job for him for 10+ years ( and he ought to be able to pay into another pension at the same time - whilst it won't be much do remember the employer pays in too :)

with his experience there will be companies and organisations that will snap him up !

So he’s 52 and a half, is that right? I think he is being unreasonable, he can’t afford to retire!

I think he needs to change jobs, even if it’s for a pay cut. It’s a low pension income to have to live on at a relatively young age.

My DH is retired, I’m younger and still working, probably for another 10 years or so in the NHS, I’ll take part of my pension at 60 which is when I can take it without reduction unless things change! I’ve taken a small pay cut to reduce my stress, that’s what you do. Not jump ship!

So he wants to work to earn and contribute in a different way, you've said no and then are considering making him still pay the bills and have very little money left for himself?

Flip this the other way round. A man was telling his wife she couldn't change job, so her only option was to retire and have very little of her own money.

Our combined pension income will be £1900pm, and bills will be £1000pm. That's with us both not working. Also lump sums of £72k and £165k in the bank, so I don't feel worried about what would happen if we couldn't work. But I plan on working for another 10 years (it's not a hard job).

Can he get seasonal work too? Sounds like you are busy in the summer and that his job requires him to be somewhat physically active. Professional gardener, or working at a country park dealing with people etc. Bush craft business. Etc

I haven’t read your previous posts but from what your saying I don’t see why you wouldn’t do it

i lost my husband two years ago..time Is precious

it seems like a no brainer to me

you have plenty of money between you imv

I know. I honestly do keep doing 180 degree flips in my mind.

I think on looking at the figures again, in full, that I do feel okay to pay the bills from my self employment and he keeps his £900. I realise this is a complete 180. If I was clear on the way forward I guess I wouldn't have posted at all.

You still don’t address why he won’t really consider some light work—are these vacations to see your children really so constant and affordable that he can retire, your income tank, and you will still be able to go on them?

It still wouldn’t change the fact that the would have little money. And there would be a huge drop in income for him.

Thats assuming he’d be able to find a job at a holiday park. And would get regular work from an agency. Not obvious seen his age.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

This is a good option TBF. My dad retired early, because they could afford it and his job was likely slowly killing him. He did a lot of casual work, so he could pick it up and put it down, but it supplemented their income nicely.

He does.
It’s the OP who wants more than the 5~6 weeks hols he’d get!!

When I worked for the NHS, I had a break down, was off work for a year and returned on a staggared return. It was obvious I couldn't cope with returning full time after a few months so I resigned as my role wasnt part time. I took a few weeks off and went back on the bank - zero hour contract - I worked when I felt well enough. Also meant I could take the holidays I wanted when I wanted - would that be something he could do? I didn't go back into the role I was doing, I went and worked in all departments which needed cover as and when

It doesnt have to be stay in current job or retire though does it? He could get a different less stressful job that pays some bills. He doesn't get to just stop working and lump the responsibility on you. I would support him to change career not support him to give up.

This, part retirement in his current role.

He can't afford to retire at 55. He can afford to take his pension and get another job. It would prob be more realistic for him to get another job and then take his pension at 60
£72k and £900 a month is not sufficient to live on at 55.
Can you book him an appt with a financial adviser?

How long has he been in emergency services for us? I’m surprised he’s got quite a small pension?

This doesn't make a lot of sense. You say he is a blue light worker where early ish retirment is the norm? Pensions and retirememt ages for these workers tend to reflect this, why is his so low?

There are also established pathways off the front line for these types of workers - either to remain in the service in more desk based roles or moving in to an adajcent career. Mr Monkey plays football with a lot of retired police in thier early 50s, they tend to go in to things like private security and civil enforcement/investigation.

Based on this, absolutely not. But it sounds like you’ve been bank rolling him for years, so you may as well continue?

I would be ok with being the main breadwinner on the basis that my husband moved to a less stressful job and reined in his spending. I wouldn't be happy to fully support a man in his early fifties, in the absence of serious ill-health or disability.

I'm retired on about 700 a month. It's enough if you're sharing bills and spend sensibly. I still get the odd holiday and work done on the house - that's what my lump sum is for.

He can live on 900 if he uses common sense.

And basically he has lots of money given he doesn't need to save as he's getting an inheritance. Lucky sod.