Spending inheritance: what is fair?

[Perly]

Recently I received £200k as an inheritance after the death of my parents. DH and I are both recently retired (both early 60s and in reasonable health, no mortgage or debts). We have two adult children who we will help financially if they ever decide to buy a property or have a family.
I've put the money into ISAs and savings for now, and also spent some money on the house and furniture etc.
I have been frugal and hardworking all my life, but have always hankered for some adventures after retirement while we are still able. I'd love to spend some of my parents' money on a motorhome (around £40k) we can travel about when we feel like it, and to do a tour of Europe. My parents would definitely approve... they loved to get out and about when their health was good. That would still leave the bulk of the inheritance safely tucked away in savings,
DH however thinks this is extravagant and unrealistic, and we'd be better off saving the money. My view is, if we don't like it, we can sell it again without too much money lost.
I see the money as our money rather than mine outright, but I also am off a mind to insist. On the other hand, I don't want to get a motorhome and have him fuss and moan so much it takes all fun out of it, so I need to be diplomatic and to help him see that it could work (he is a natural worrier and often has to be pushed gently into new ideas and changes). I think he'd be happy spending the next few years pottering about with the odd holiday now and again, whereas I see this as a unique chance to do something more adventurous.
Would this be selfish of me? I'm at an age now where I want to be a bit selfish after years of work, parenting and scrimping and saving. If it's of any relevance, DH stands to inherit an awful lot of money himself in future.

I'm on the fence. I would look into the cost of storage/insurance. Do you have enough parking. Then look into renting one for maybe a two week holiday and see how you go.

It is your money and spending some of it on an adventure seems reasonable, it's not like you are blowing the whole lot in Vegas.

I would try renting a motorhome as previous posters have suggested to see if you like the lifestyle first. Some neighbours of ours bought a small camper van three years ago. They park it in their drive and I think it has been off site for one weekend in all that time.

I was left around the same amount 10 years ago and decided to save it for a rainy day / keep for retirement .
I still have it , and weirdly it would seem strange to suddenly spend it now , so I'm keeping it for ds for when he needs it ( doesn't know that )

You wouldn't get a new van for £40k nowadays anyway!

Yes 100% do it, these are yoir years to do it, the active years are finite, be active and adventurous now whilst you can.

From experience, things could change within as little as 8 years.

What I would give to do the coastline of Brittany again, or the French west coast in a VW camper, even better with bikes on the back if that’s your thing…

Could you do a motorhome holiday first to warm him up to the idea? There are some nice ones around the national parks in America where you rent your MoHo for a couple of weeks and just drive around.

I'd definitely advise renting one out first as it's not for everyone. Also if your DH is anti would he be motivated to drive it?
We've had motorhomes/vans for years and love it. We've travelled a lot in Europe and would highly recommend.

Yeah I'd definitely try a motorhome out before buying one. They are a faff.

Whats the point of being the richest person in the grave yard?

This is a great suggestion @Perly he might get the bug!

Surely 40k would be for a second hand one anyway. OP go for it. Spend it on adventures now while you’re fit and healthy. You don’t know what’s round the corner.

I meant to add , really wish I'd spent some of it , so advise you buy your motorhome !

Would strongly recommend hiring a motor home for a week or 2 first.

Also - make a spreadsheet which shows what money you have, how much you need to live on, and for each year have a budget ( if you spend on average 2k a month now assume 2.2k next year etc)

• if you can see that you have enough money for everything then see what's left and allocate it to pots - emergency fund, new car fund, special holiday fund

Then it might seem more reasonable

I think it sounds amazing in theory but in reality it could be a bit of a tie perhaps. Would you be relying on your husband to do all the driving? Where would you store it? I think I would rather hire one now and again. I'm also thinking that 40 grand would get me a lot of travelling and holidays where I could be footloose and fancy free, without the possible encumbrance of a giant motorhome.
But regardless of the semantics, you should definitely spend it on having an adventure of some description!

Do it! I hope he comes round.

You could get a really nice larger size campervan for 40k, I have one!

There are a number of Facebook groups for solo women motorhome/campervan owners. I’m in a few and have been along to several organised meet ups, the meet ups are women only and really good, you’ll get loads of help and advice especially on your first few outings with them.

Lots of us are married to husbands who don’t like campervan or motorhome trips, so we leave the DH at home for a few days and go along.

‘Ladies Campervan Travel Group’ and ‘Women with Campervans’ are the two big facebook groups I’m in, and there are women with all types of vans in both groups, from microcampers to big motorhomes.

Thank you all, some really helpful ideas. I am experienced with driving large vehicles so we'd definitely share the driving. I think it is a sensible plan to hire first to see how we like it. Hiring a motorhome isn't cheap though, so I was also thinking of the cost saved compared to the cost of buying one then selling again at the end of the year if it didn't work out. As a pp said, £40k would only get a secondhand one for the size we'd need, but I'd be ok with that. But for DH's peace of mind I will suggest hiring before we take the plunge.

That sounds amazing! I'd love that. Thanks for the tips

Travel while you still have your health

I thought I would have decades in retirement to do loads of things (I'm early 50s, not retired yet) - I was fit and healthy, barely troubled the doctor my whole life - then I got long covid and my health has never been the same. I've now had to drastically change all my plans.

Life is for living, particularly in retirement in these active years! You're fit healthy and able - enjoy it!

Hire a motorhome for three weeks before you buy one. Just double check it's your thing first. A neighbour bought one and barely used it.

My Dm, and PiL all passed in the last few years. I gave DM to DS as it was already rented and he has just co tinted with that. We only have one DC. We are both retired and have made a decision to spend some of the money. We live in a comfortable house. Today the final accounts came from the passing of FiL, coupled with we booked our first cruise. We have been fortunate and travelled extensively however we have made a mutual decision to travel now and pootle later.
Hopefully you can persuade him now is the time to travel and later is the time to pootle.

I disagree! Both me and DH have inherited small amounts from our mothers, each of us decided what to do with our money. DH chose to split his equally with me as I’d spent the previous 10 years doing an awful lot for my MIL and he was very grateful. I’ve given some of my inheritance to DH to spend as he wishes on himself, bought myself a couple of nice things and put the rest in ISAs / savings.

@Perly absolutely do it, YOLO.

As pp suggest hiring a motor home and trying it out is sensible. Also look at second hand.

The one question is who would drive it? Could this be a concern for your DH.

Does he actually like motor homes? It's my worst nightmare having a motor home. Is much prefer to use that money on hotels and tour by motorcycle