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Original poster

Please help - partner died no will

387 replies

TheAgileDuck · 06/01/2025 18:47

Hi All, I would really appreciate your help. My partner of 12 years died over Christmas. He was very ill and I was his carer (unofficially he didn’t claim carers allowance etc) We have lived together for 8 years in his fully paid for house. He has two children who he has not seen for 10 + years and other relatives still alive but again not spoken to in a very long time years and years.

he has died with no will. His family are asking me to leave the house I have called my home for 8 years as we were not married and I wasn’t paying any rent/maintenance officially. He always verbally promised me that I could stay in the house if he passed away until I died or if I choose to leave 30% of the value of house and rest to his children. However it turns out there is no will so none of the above is official.

do I have any right to stay in the house? Please note I am not on bills. I also have no other savings, so if I was kicked out I would effectively be made homeless. I haven’t worked in 8 years as his health was extremely poor and I looked after him and he had enough money to cover all bills.

I am not after any money from his bank accounts, his expensive jewellery and watches just a small bit of what was promised to me for so long. I have no money saved so getting a solicitor I think will be last resort but guessing it might have to be done.

I am totally devastated by his loss but also now by this situation which has come as such a shock after thinking I had some safety for my future.

please help if anyone has any advice

many thanks

OP posts:
Boomer55 · 07/01/2025 16:53

He’s left you without any legal rights. You need to take advice. Sorry for your loss. 🌷

ShanghaiDiva · 07/01/2025 16:56

BlackStrayCat · 07/01/2025 14:50

The natural assumption is that he had a will or both names would be on the deeds. They just wouldn't assume they had rights to his property unless they KNEW and he'd told them that.

Because of that, above.

Even if both names were on the deeds, they could have held the property as tenants in common which would allow the deceased to leave his share to a third party. The principle of survivorship only applies where the property is held as joint tenants.

FitAt50 · 07/01/2025 17:24

This is so so horrible and I am hugely sorry for you loss and for whats happening to you. This is just another example of why people need to make a will, especially if you are not married and even more so if one of you had a long term illness.

BorgQueen · 07/01/2025 21:10

FeegleFrenzy · 07/01/2025 07:47

Totally. Someone is missing a trick not setting up some sort of website/database and the facility for people to upload wills.

Show quote history

There is. It’s the National will register.

BBQPete · 07/01/2025 22:21

That's really interesting @BorgQueen

I've never heard of it, and have thought it would be a good idea for 30 years or more.

Whelm · 08/01/2025 00:35

Seeing some of the heated comments, I'm reminded of a friend who was the sole beneficiary of her neighbour's will. He didn't mention his intentions, the lawyers mentioned in the will didn't tell her and his closest relatives helped themselves to the contents of a safe and a variety of valuables.
Always a good idea to set things out clearly well in advance of need.

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 08/01/2025 01:08

Whelm · 08/01/2025 00:35

Seeing some of the heated comments, I'm reminded of a friend who was the sole beneficiary of her neighbour's will. He didn't mention his intentions, the lawyers mentioned in the will didn't tell her and his closest relatives helped themselves to the contents of a safe and a variety of valuables.
Always a good idea to set things out clearly well in advance of need.

The solicotor can't tell the beneficiary before death unless instructed to by the testator. After death a solicitor would be struck off for that.

Whelm · 08/01/2025 01:24

IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle · 08/01/2025 01:08

The solicotor can't tell the beneficiary before death unless instructed to by the testator. After death a solicitor would be struck off for that.

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I understand that they couldn't mention it before the death, but they didn't communicate the contents until after they had made very expensive arrangements for disposal of some rare cars and other identifiable assets - several weeks after the death. Despite being the sole beneficiary - my friend allowed the closest relatives use of the spare key because everyone expected them to inherit.
She's never owned anything worth more than £500 and it only emerged much later that her kindness to a different dying family member years earlier (when the rest of the family failed to visit) caused the old man to cut everyone else out of the will.

There was a wholly unrelated case in the past year (I think) where a bank employee was asked to witness mirror wills - the couple mentioned that they were cutting family out of the will and leaving everything to friends upon the second death. The bank employee later informed the family that the wills were improperly witnessed - I can't imagine why - and the estate instead went to the next of kin.

MillyBar · 08/01/2025 03:11

A lot of people here are banging on about the importance of making a will. Of course it is important, but in this case, it might also be irrelevant. Having 'promised' the OP that he would make provision for her, should he pre-decease her, her partner apparently chose not to make a will. Little wonder she is feeling confused and upset.

Given the known circumstances, I wouldn't hold out much hope of a will suddenly materialising. Had he made one, surely he would have made sure his partner knew where it was.

Having cared for her partner up to his death, she now needs to concentrate on her own interests, with her top priority being to keep a roof over her head. Once the children come to realise that they can either agree a reasonable settlement (that materially recognises the OP's significance in their father's life) or face years of expensive legal wrangling, they might see sense.

FeegleFrenzy · 08/01/2025 07:38

BBQPete · 07/01/2025 22:21

That's really interesting @BorgQueen

I've never heard of it, and have thought it would be a good idea for 30 years or more.

I didn’t know either. I have a will but it’s just buried in a desk drawer somewhere. I will have to see about registering it. Thanks.

Radyward · 08/01/2025 08:07

So no will
You paid for nothing
He may have verbally said to you you could stay on. But that means Jack legally.
You have no option but to leave. His nok own the house. They are his family since birth not 8 yrs worth like you despite being his carer.
Not on any bills. You are rightly screwed in this.
For the sake of not prolonging this just move on.you are entitled to nothing so don't waste your or his family's time. You could spend 100's if not 1000s on legal fees and gain nothing ( the likely scenario )

MILLYmo0se · 08/01/2025 08:09

Radyward · 08/01/2025 08:07

So no will
You paid for nothing
He may have verbally said to you you could stay on. But that means Jack legally.
You have no option but to leave. His nok own the house. They are his family since birth not 8 yrs worth like you despite being his carer.
Not on any bills. You are rightly screwed in this.
For the sake of not prolonging this just move on.you are entitled to nothing so don't waste your or his family's time. You could spend 100's if not 1000s on legal fees and gain nothing ( the likely scenario )

As has been discussed by those working in this area she probably does have a claim as a dependent

MontyDonsBlueScarf · 08/01/2025 08:39

OP I've read your posts but not the whole thread. Please don't take the lack of a will as any indication of his feelings for you. A lot of people find it hard to consider that one day they won't be here even when they're well. If they're seriously ill it's even more difficult to face and often they cope by going into denial. At least when you're well you can tell yourself that you're making a will because you've just got married, bought a house or whatever. To make a will because you're dying is a whole different thing and not something everyone can face.

My DH died of cancer two years after diagnosis. In that time he had three palliative care nurses. He looked forward to seeing the first two but he absolutely hated the third one and wouldn't have her in the house, because she tried to talk to him very gently about his wishes for end stage care.

We already had wills from 15 years previously so I thought it was important for him to check that it still represented what he wanted, but I had to play it very carefully to get him to do it. I'm still not sure whether he actually thought much about it or whether he just left it unchanged because that was all he could cope with.

I'm sorry for your loss. Please don't compound it by reading too much into the lack of a will.

Daisy12Maisie · 08/01/2025 09:33

I think he has probably told the OP he has made a will as a sweetener whilst he was still alive as he liked her company and wanted to be cared for by her but by making a will he was basically leaving his estate to his children. I assume this is out of the financial obligation most of us feel towards our children plus maybe guilt because he is estranged from them.

I'm not sure if you will have a claim or whether it would be financially viable to fight it but hopefully a solicitor can give you some helpful advice.

Hoppinggreen · 08/01/2025 09:45

I agree
I know OP is grieving but this man has actually behaved very badly and the cynical side of me would say that he misled her so that she would be his carer
Anyway, it looks like there may be some hope for her but I doubt it will be an easy process whatever happens

BellissimoGecko · 08/01/2025 09:52

I'm sorry for your loss. Please don't compound it by reading too much into the lack of a will.

But @MontyDonsBlueScarf the lack of a will will completely change OP's life. She's given up the last eight years of her life to care for her partner, and this is a big 'fuck you' to her.

Hoppinggreen · 08/01/2025 09:54

BellissimoGecko · 08/01/2025 09:52

I'm sorry for your loss. Please don't compound it by reading too much into the lack of a will.

But @MontyDonsBlueScarf the lack of a will will completely change OP's life. She's given up the last eight years of her life to care for her partner, and this is a big 'fuck you' to her.

At worst its manipulative or cruel and at best its thoughtless

CamelByCamel · 08/01/2025 09:55

Hoppinggreen · 08/01/2025 09:54

At worst its manipulative or cruel and at best its thoughtless

Show quote history

Yes, exactly. It's possible that OPs DP has treated her very badly on purpose here. Cannot be excluded. It's quite reasonable for her to be reading things into the lack of a will.

Getuptherenow · 08/01/2025 10:39

It looks like he saw you coming, OP. He got 8 years of being cared for out of this situation. You gave up your job and got nothing. I would be angry with him, not his family.

Needanewname42 · 08/01/2025 10:49

Hoppinggreen · 08/01/2025 09:54

At worst its manipulative or cruel and at best its thoughtless

Show quote history

Yes and you know what she will never know the true answer.

It's also very odd he didn't let her claim carers allowance. Then she'd have evidence she was caring for him and have money in her own pocket.

The more I think about it, the more I think he's been a manipulative, controlling, selfish bastard. He's done a right number on the Op. I'm sorry she's grieving but she should be very very angry at him.

Needanewname42 · 08/01/2025 10:51

@TheAgileDuck
I wonder if you are entitled to legal aid to put a claim on his estate, or worse case find a no win, no fee solicitor.

I'm hoping you are doing OK.

StormingNorman · 08/01/2025 10:51

Radyward · 08/01/2025 08:07

So no will
You paid for nothing
He may have verbally said to you you could stay on. But that means Jack legally.
You have no option but to leave. His nok own the house. They are his family since birth not 8 yrs worth like you despite being his carer.
Not on any bills. You are rightly screwed in this.
For the sake of not prolonging this just move on.you are entitled to nothing so don't waste your or his family's time. You could spend 100's if not 1000s on legal fees and gain nothing ( the likely scenario )

Thank God OP has had some advice from actual solicitors with actual knowledge of the law. Otherwise she could have taken this post seriously and materially damaged her future financial security.

ShanghaiDiva · 08/01/2025 11:37

Radyward · 08/01/2025 08:07

So no will
You paid for nothing
He may have verbally said to you you could stay on. But that means Jack legally.
You have no option but to leave. His nok own the house. They are his family since birth not 8 yrs worth like you despite being his carer.
Not on any bills. You are rightly screwed in this.
For the sake of not prolonging this just move on.you are entitled to nothing so don't waste your or his family's time. You could spend 100's if not 1000s on legal fees and gain nothing ( the likely scenario )

Your ‘advice’ is incorrect. The OP can claim under the 1975 act as she cohabited with the deceased for 2+ years and additionally was financially dependent on him. The administrators of the estate will not be able to distribute until the claim has been settled/resolved and may decide to offer a payment to the OP to avoid a protracted legal process.

2025uk · 08/01/2025 11:49

Just offering one reason why he might not have made a will, maybe he intended to but as he was so ill for a long time (op says eight years) maybe he could not face it or was not well enough to tackle it or even a bit confused about it all. If it involved a trip to the solicitor maybe he wasn’t up for that.

I had a health scare last year and was ill for some time and I could hardly think straight. It did give me a fright and as soon as I was well enough I made a will with a solicitor over the phone and felt very relieved I did but at one stage I wasn’t up for even making a phone call.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 08/01/2025 13:00

Needanewname42 · 08/01/2025 10:49

Yes and you know what she will never know the true answer.

It's also very odd he didn't let her claim carers allowance. Then she'd have evidence she was caring for him and have money in her own pocket.

The more I think about it, the more I think he's been a manipulative, controlling, selfish bastard. He's done a right number on the Op. I'm sorry she's grieving but she should be very very angry at him.

Show quote history

Did she say that he 'didn't let her', or just that they didn't claim it?