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Original poster

Please help - partner died no will

387 replies

TheAgileDuck · 06/01/2025 18:47

Hi All, I would really appreciate your help. My partner of 12 years died over Christmas. He was very ill and I was his carer (unofficially he didn’t claim carers allowance etc) We have lived together for 8 years in his fully paid for house. He has two children who he has not seen for 10 + years and other relatives still alive but again not spoken to in a very long time years and years.

he has died with no will. His family are asking me to leave the house I have called my home for 8 years as we were not married and I wasn’t paying any rent/maintenance officially. He always verbally promised me that I could stay in the house if he passed away until I died or if I choose to leave 30% of the value of house and rest to his children. However it turns out there is no will so none of the above is official.

do I have any right to stay in the house? Please note I am not on bills. I also have no other savings, so if I was kicked out I would effectively be made homeless. I haven’t worked in 8 years as his health was extremely poor and I looked after him and he had enough money to cover all bills.

I am not after any money from his bank accounts, his expensive jewellery and watches just a small bit of what was promised to me for so long. I have no money saved so getting a solicitor I think will be last resort but guessing it might have to be done.

I am totally devastated by his loss but also now by this situation which has come as such a shock after thinking I had some safety for my future.

please help if anyone has any advice

many thanks

OP posts:
AngelicKaty · 06/01/2025 22:20

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This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

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OnMyBroomstickAgain · 06/01/2025 22:22

Seek urgent legal advice OP from a specialist in contested probate & stay put in the house. If there is no will, in your circumstances there are two potential entirely legal grounds for claiming against the estate.

FeegleFrenzy · 06/01/2025 22:29

AngelicKaty · 06/01/2025 21:06

Exactly this. The people speculating about OP's late partner's motivations have no emotional intelligence or compassion - they don't know OP, let alone her late partner so how they think they can question his character (or OP's) beggars belief. Just shameful - and totally unhelpful to OP in her current predicament.

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Exactly. It’s far more likely he was just disorganised/hadn’t got round to making one. Slagging him off like this is not exactly helping the grieving OP.

penelopelondon · 06/01/2025 22:34

OP: you should have never called his kids, they had not communicated with him for ten years, you had taken care of him and his house. mouth shut, you owe them nothing. Let them find for themselves (if they have any interest that is). He should have sat down with you and draw a plan, stuff like name the solicitor and the executors (as his partner and carer you should have been one of them). You should have asked too who the executor/s were, call them up and make sure the will was with them.

Cerealkiller4U · 06/01/2025 22:46

AngelicKaty · 06/01/2025 21:55

@Cerealkiller4U I assume you've been able to verify what you've been told is accurate, but that's awful and must be such a shock for you. I'm so sorry for your loss, and also for the confusion you must feel about what your father told you he'd done and the reality. You must be feeling very conflicting emotions. 😔

So no. I’ve not been able to verify. However if he died and I was in his will people would be working to find me right?

whiteroseredrose · 06/01/2025 22:51

changecandles · 06/01/2025 20:23

This is actually very upsetting. Letting someone live with you can put your wishes at risk.

LondonLawyer · 06/01/2025 22:51

AngelicKaty · 06/01/2025 21:31

@snoozeysleepy @LondonLawyer @IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle
As the qualified lawyers on here, can I check something with you please? Assuming OP's situation remains as it is (i.e. no Will is found and her late partner has indeed died intestate), when his children apply for Letters of Administration/Grant of Probate, should OP place a caveat on the probate application to slow the grant down (for at least six months anyway)? I appreciate the children could warn off this caveat, but it will slow the whole process down while the two parties are in dispute (particularly if OP is able to renew the caveat every six months) and make it impossible for the children to sell the house until probate has been granted, and therefore possibly enable OP to stay there longer. What do you think?

Edited

Sorry, I don't know. It's not my area of law, so I know the basics (the existence of the essentials of intestacy, promissory estoppel, the 1975 Act) but not the details.
I also think it's likely that it depends on the particular evidence and facts, so that it requires advice from a solicitor who both knows this area of law well and has the ability to apply it to OP's particular case in light of not just what the OP says and feels but what she can or might be able to, given investigation, prove.

UndergroundOvergroundWomblingFreeby · 06/01/2025 22:51

Who is/are the beneficiaries for his pension? Could he have put your name down? Could you have a claim?

IcedChristmasTrees · 06/01/2025 22:56

I'm sorry, this is why marriage always needs to be on the table in a long term relationship.
Hope you get something.

YourHappyJadeEagle · 06/01/2025 22:57

TheAgileDuck · 06/01/2025 19:07

I know I am devastated. He told me numerous times he had a will in place but turns out he didn’t. I don’t know why he lied to me, we had a great relationship even through the tough times of his illness. I never want to take things from his children that’s not what person I am, I just wanted a fair and reasonable amount which he has so promised. If I thought he hadn’t prepared I would never have left work and been financially dependent on him.

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Just a thought but as your partner said he’d written a Will have you looked everywhere? It couldn’t be lodged with his bank ? A solicitor? Have you found any paperwork relating to a Will writing company or a legal firm?

I’m very sorry for your loss.

AngelicKaty · 06/01/2025 22:59

Cerealkiller4U · 06/01/2025 22:46

So no. I’ve not been able to verify. However if he died and I was in his will people would be working to find me right?

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Yes, but how do you know they're not? Your father passed away just two'ish weeks ago and he died abroad, which is bound to complicate matters. Who told you he died abroad and intestate?

inmyera · 06/01/2025 22:59

I'm fairly certain that if you can prove that you were financially dependent on him, you can stay in the house. Please speak to a solicitor. I'm so sorry for your loss.

OVienna · 06/01/2025 23:01

penelopelondon · 06/01/2025 22:34

OP: you should have never called his kids, they had not communicated with him for ten years, you had taken care of him and his house. mouth shut, you owe them nothing. Let them find for themselves (if they have any interest that is). He should have sat down with you and draw a plan, stuff like name the solicitor and the executors (as his partner and carer you should have been one of them). You should have asked too who the executor/s were, call them up and make sure the will was with them.

She shouldn't have told his children he died?

Soontobe60 · 06/01/2025 23:01

TheAgileDuck · 06/01/2025 19:10

I never owned a home myself always privately rented as I couldn’t afford London prices where I lived.

The family failings out I think were a mixture of everyone being in the wrong if I am honest.

he owned his own home as he worked, he bought a house in the north and I relocated with him 8 years ago.

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So you’ll also have a teachers pension presumably.

AngelicKaty · 06/01/2025 23:03

penelopelondon · 06/01/2025 22:34

OP: you should have never called his kids, they had not communicated with him for ten years, you had taken care of him and his house. mouth shut, you owe them nothing. Let them find for themselves (if they have any interest that is). He should have sat down with you and draw a plan, stuff like name the solicitor and the executors (as his partner and carer you should have been one of them). You should have asked too who the executor/s were, call them up and make sure the will was with them.

Why are you (and others) telling OP what she should have done? It's irrelevant now and totally unhelpful. I wish you'd all just stop with the criticism. This poor woman lost her DP just two weeks ago and is grieving his loss. Have some empathy for pity's sake.

LadyLapsang · 06/01/2025 23:05

I am sorry for your loss. I hope his next of kin will allow you to be involved in plans for the funeral. I do know someone who inherited an estate in similar circumstances and the unmarried partner who was made homeless was housed by the local authority, but that was some time ago. I hope you have access to joint accounts and are a beneficiary of a pension.

Moonshine5 · 06/01/2025 23:11

TheAgileDuck · 06/01/2025 19:19

for the past 3 years he couldn’t walk. Previous 5 years of illness was him just getting slowly worse. I always have worked I was a teacher. I left work as by that point I was with him for 4 years, knew he was my soul mate and he had enough money to cover bills etc. we never went on holiday, had a very simple life but we was happy

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With all due respect you don't sound like any teacher.

MILLYmo0se · 06/01/2025 23:13

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/01/2025 21:04

Bollocks.

You have absolutely no idea if this is true or not.

I haven't yet made a will, I have a life limiting condition and could drop dead any minute. My partner gave up work to look after me, he gets carers allowance and I financially support him, but if I die, he is at the mercy of my family (however they know about him know my intent that he remains here and the house is his etc etc, and there are only two of them, neither of whom have any desire to screw him over).

This thread is giving me the kick up the arse I need to sort it out, I haven't because its one more stressful thing to do and it does mean thinking about my own end, which I naturally do not want to do, it is depressing and upsetting to think about.

In no way however, does it mean that I have always wanted my Dad and my Sister to inherit my house and stuff!

@TheAgileDuck Stay put. Do not let his family push you around. Get legal advice, it is still possible he made a will and even if he hasn't it is likely there is something that can be done here. Please do not rush into anything.

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But if you don't leave a will doesn't the house legally have to go to your dad and sister? Yes they can leave him living there but there's financial and legal stuff around that too, does he pay them rent, who responds for maintaining the property, if you father needs to go into a home would his part ownership of your house be needed for fees, all sorts of things. I understand your not wanting to deal with it, but not making a will is leaving your loved ones with a lot of faff and organisation and just plain hassle and while they are grieving too that can all be entirely avoided

Inyournewdress · 06/01/2025 23:13

Does anyone know if OP could claim that her caring duties were in effect contributing to the household finances since he didn’t have to pay for other care? Given his medical condition must be on record, and that there is no record of him paying for any other care that he would clearly have required? Paying that would probably have swallowed a fair bit of the estate anyway.

oakleaffy · 06/01/2025 23:15

Aargh, this is why wills are so important.

Let people know where it is.

If one has property and items of value, a Will saves all the arguing. {If correctly drawn up and witnessed}

ipredictariot5 · 06/01/2025 23:16

Sorry OP. My father died suddenly without a will recently and the rules of intestacy are pretty rigid whether family members were estranged or not. You may have a claim if financially dependent but you need to see a solicitor and stay put in the house for now. Get estimate of costs from
solicitor and what you may get. My father had promised my sister money prior to his death but she had no claim ( my mother honoured this despite legal advice that she did not have to)

viques · 06/01/2025 23:17

ShanghaiDiva · 06/01/2025 19:23

You can claim under the 1975 Act as you lived as you cohabited for more than two years prior to death and you were financially dependent on him. You need to seek legal advice and make an application under the act.

I am sorry for your loss and that you have this to deal with at a time when you are grieving.

If the OPbwas a teacher for 20 years she will have a teachers pension which she can claim now, (and a state pension eventually) so she was technically not financially dependent on her partner since she has an income. And since she has not been paying rent for a while she should have been able to save. She might have a reduced life style, but will not be destitute.

oakleaffy · 06/01/2025 23:28

Moonshine5 · 06/01/2025 23:11

With all due respect you don't sound like any teacher.

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Might not have been English OP taught.

Pallisers · 06/01/2025 23:31

I agree but someone posted here recently that she had asked her parents where their will was and they refused to tell her and many posters told her she was grabby and awful for wanting to know.

@Cerealkiller4U I would certainly investigate further about your father's will - I wouldn't just let it go.

Noras · 06/01/2025 23:42

You were living and caring for him do years and during that time had an understanding that he would leave something or part of the house value to you.

1 Dependancy claim springs to mind.
2 Potential constructive trust

Also you might be able to register an overriding interest in the property.

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