Please help - partner died no will

[TheAgileDuck]

Hi All, I would really appreciate your help. My partner of 12 years died over Christmas. He was very ill and I was his carer (unofficially he didn’t claim carers allowance etc) We have lived together for 8 years in his fully paid for house. He has two children who he has not seen for 10 + years and other relatives still alive but again not spoken to in a very long time years and years.

he has died with no will. His family are asking me to leave the house I have called my home for 8 years as we were not married and I wasn’t paying any rent/maintenance officially. He always verbally promised me that I could stay in the house if he passed away until I died or if I choose to leave 30% of the value of house and rest to his children. However it turns out there is no will so none of the above is official.

do I have any right to stay in the house? Please note I am not on bills. I also have no other savings, so if I was kicked out I would effectively be made homeless. I haven’t worked in 8 years as his health was extremely poor and I looked after him and he had enough money to cover all bills.

I am not after any money from his bank accounts, his expensive jewellery and watches just a small bit of what was promised to me for so long. I have no money saved so getting a solicitor I think will be last resort but guessing it might have to be done.

I am totally devastated by his loss but also now by this situation which has come as such a shock after thinking I had some safety for my future.

please help if anyone has any advice

many thanks

Here we have a woman who is about to be left homeless and destitute because the man she gave up her career for did not bother to make sure things were taken care when he died.

Fill me in with that detailed imagination please.

This. Get it done!

@penelopelondon your right. If her grief hasn't already turned to anger it soon will.

He really has left her in the shit. I really feel for the Op it's like he's used and abused her while keeping intouch with his family on the sly.
Awful shit of a man, any decent man would have married her and made sure she was well looked after in his will.

How do you conclude that he was keeping in touch with his family on the sly?
i don’t see that comments such as he was a shit of a man are helpful when op is grieving.

"She's grieving the loss of a man who didn't cared(sic) for her." You don't KNOW that! How dare you write that?! You're making proclamations about a man you don't know from Adam. Half the UK adult population haven't made a Will (and only 14% have PoAs in place). The majority of those people will be perfectly fit and healthy and capable of making a Will, but still they haven't. Do you want to guess about their motivations too? It's clear from the email OP found that her late partner intended to make a Will to protect her, but for whatever reason (which NONE of us should be guessing at!) he didn't, and I suspect the fact he was was very ill and virtually house-bound for his last three years would have impacted that. You have ZERO emotional intelligence and are simply trying to add to OP's distress at the worst possible time. SHAME on you!

How else did the family know to rock up on the doorstep and demand the Op left?

The natural assumption is that he had a will or both names would be on the deeds. They just wouldn't assume they had rights to his property unless they KNEW and he'd told them that.

Regardless of comments, he's left her in a horrible position. And she has a right to be angry.
Was it intentionally because he wanted to be remembered kindly by his family or was it unintentionally because he couldn't face writing a will or protecting his beloved partner.

oh..gosh what's a tough situation for you being in.
hope you get something from them.

So sorry OP. Maybe he did make a will but you just can't find it

Why are posters so shocked? Shouting "Shame on you" etc Because he is dead? An anticipated death.@penelopelondon is right.

Just go to the divorce boards and read the hundreds and hundreds of posts of women actually married (long marriages) with shared DCs who are intiating divorce and left with hidden assets impossible to find, no money and no CM. Property tied up and no money for a good lawyer.

This man was not a good man, dead or not. He had 8 years to get this in order and chose not to and lied about it. Guarenteed money was his control.

What happened to the ex wife?

I am so sorry@TheAgileDuck .I hope you get help and I hope you can come to terms with the situation. It is horrible. 💐

They turned up because OP informed them of the death.
OP is grieving how do your comments that he was a shit of a man help? Do you have no emotional intelligence?

I am shocked as OP posted for help at a very difficult time. How does telling her the man she spent 8 years with was a shit or calling her a naive fool help? It doesn’t. It’s unnecessarily unpleasant and doesn’t answer any of the issues op raised in her initial post.

How does saying "he was a wonderful man" help?It has absolutely nothing to do with Emotional Intelligence. She may be made homeless. She needs to fight.

Yes, she does need to take action and many of us have stated that she would be eligible to make a claim under the 1975 act. I have not commented whether he was a good man or not as it makes no difference to the situation op is in.

As with divorce, child custody, death, and a partner leaving you terribly vulnerable involves emotionally detaching and fighting.

Recovery and grief have to come second. Self preservation first.

To pretend what he has done is not awful is confusing and will not help at all. This is as time sensitive asit gets.

@TheAgileDuck You may in fact be able to benefit in these circumstances. You will need to go to high court through a solicitor/barrister [if you are in England]. Courts do now take into account how similar the "relationship" was to "marriage".

A friend of mine took on the Duchy of Cornwall in a similar situation and got a full payout. Took about 3 years and a lot of determination! The estate was over £500000! Legal people will get 1/3rd I think.

Any so-called promises will not be taken into account though; in effect it is starting from scratch. You cannot be evicted without proper process through the courts so get in first and get things moving. It "might" be that next of kin will come up with some sort of "offer" to you

No one is pretending that the situation that OP finds herself in is not awful.
many of us have stated what action to take and when this needs to be done.
@BlackStrayCat

Apparently you should be grieving the man who left you destitute and homeless after taking care of him for 8 years, a bit like grieving the ex who left you and your 3 kids for a younger model.

(MN standards very low as usual when it comes to men)

@penelopelondon OP spent eight years with him. Why would there not be grief? Am sure there is grief, anger and frustration.

"situation she finds herself in" vs what I said "situation he put her in".

No. She is involved too.

It is awful but there is definitely blame all around here, but I do agree that it’s wasting time to talk about it now.

Imagine making "assumptions" and commenting on the back of them instead of reading what OP actually wrote - SHE phoned the children to tell them their father had died - she posted this yesterday (6.1.25 at 19:16):

"I called them the day after he died. They turned up the next day after not seeing him for many years and asked me to leave. I said no, I didn’t want to discuss anything till after the funeral as my head is all over the place."

Why don't you read all the information OP has posted (and try to retain it) before commenting, instead of, by your own admission, making assumptions that make your posts sound foolish and ignorant. 🙄

The natural assumption is that he had a will or both names would be on the deeds. They just wouldn't assume they had rights to his property unless they KNEW and he'd told them that.

Because of that, above.

@AngelicKaty
Yes Op told the family he'd died.
What made the family think they had a right to throw the Op out the house?
They must have known there was no will and he hadn't tried to protect the Op in any way.

However I do sincerely hope the Op manages to get somewhere with the legal system. And has some legal protection.

This argument itself won’t be helping OP. She will be running through all the realisations and feelings about her DP dying intestate on her own and in her own time.

What’s your point?
demonising her deceased partner achieves nothing. OP needs to plan for the future and seek legal advice re a claim under the 1975 Act.