Please help - partner died no will

[TheAgileDuck]

Hi All, I would really appreciate your help. My partner of 12 years died over Christmas. He was very ill and I was his carer (unofficially he didn’t claim carers allowance etc) We have lived together for 8 years in his fully paid for house. He has two children who he has not seen for 10 + years and other relatives still alive but again not spoken to in a very long time years and years.

he has died with no will. His family are asking me to leave the house I have called my home for 8 years as we were not married and I wasn’t paying any rent/maintenance officially. He always verbally promised me that I could stay in the house if he passed away until I died or if I choose to leave 30% of the value of house and rest to his children. However it turns out there is no will so none of the above is official.

do I have any right to stay in the house? Please note I am not on bills. I also have no other savings, so if I was kicked out I would effectively be made homeless. I haven’t worked in 8 years as his health was extremely poor and I looked after him and he had enough money to cover all bills.

I am not after any money from his bank accounts, his expensive jewellery and watches just a small bit of what was promised to me for so long. I have no money saved so getting a solicitor I think will be last resort but guessing it might have to be done.

I am totally devastated by his loss but also now by this situation which has come as such a shock after thinking I had some safety for my future.

please help if anyone has any advice

many thanks

@Cerealkiller4U I assume you've been able to verify what you've been told is accurate, but that's awful and must be such a shock for you. I'm so sorry for your loss, and also for the confusion you must feel about what your father told you he'd done and the reality. You must be feeling very conflicting emotions. 😔

No kids.
Because its a faff and a fanny to sort out and so I haven't done it... and I hadn't thought of that.

I don't think you quite appreciate what living with serious chronic health issues and disability are like... we're clinging on by our fingerprints doing the basics to get by, in my case, earn a living, remember to take my meds, keep the animals happy and the house vaguely navigable. Extra complicated shit on top is not something I have time for, particularly when it involves thinking heavily about the one thing I spend every day trying hard not to think about!

Sorry this has happened. I didn’t find my mom’s will until eight months after she died. She’d said it was with an uncle but it wasn’t (I was an only child and so finding the will was a huge disappointment). I’d check books etc and also the National Will Register. It’s not looking good though, commiserations.

Are you sure he didn't do a DIY will at home and hidden it somewhere? My dad had a will writer visit his home. I'm the only relative who knows about it. Perhaps he did the same? Check his emails, computer and paperwork.

OP those relatives are ghouls. You compromised your earnings and career to look after this man, offering a service that would otherwise have been very expensive. You effectively protected their inheritance with your efforts.

Don't go away meekly. I hope the poster up thread who promised to dm has good advice.

Sorry for your loss

Why don't you have wills?

OP has posted previously that she phoned the children to tell them their father had died and they turned up on her doorstep the very next day ordering her to leave the property (she didn't, obviously). I don't think OP would be clearly telling us on this thread that her late partner had died intestate if the children had produced a Will from him. I wonder if it's more likely that OP believed at the time (and currently still does) that her late partner died intestate and it was she who told the children their father left no Will.

This.

He's taken you for a ride here. No excuses when he knew he was ill for so long.

Important to remember you aren't making a Will for yourself. You won't be around to worry about anything..you are making it for the person you love who needs to pick up the pieces and sort everything out. So it's good new years resolution to get it sorted. And Lasting Powers of Attorney too for the same reason. And I'm so sorry life is so hard for you and hoping things get easier.

Yes I agree

No one should be referring to common law spouses,especially lawyers who should know better!

Not correct at all

I'm so sorry.

My Dad's partner was in a similar situation to you but the house was mortgaged and he had a lot of debts. My sibling and I couldn't afford to keep it and we had to ask her to leave quite quickly (three months).

We did give her a lump sum once it was sold because it seemed right, although legally we didn't have to. It was really hard for her although she understood and we are still friendly.

So glad to see that someone with experience has offered to help you OP. I'm really sorry for your loss.

When people wang on on here about not believing in marriage and it’s just a bit of paper….its a bloody important piece of paper as it avoids this very scenario. I hope you can sort this out.

Ah but they're like rats up a drainpipe at the first sniff of money

So sorry OP for your loss and for this awful situation. I hope the PP who is a solicitor will be able to help.
Thank you for posting this, because it is an important reminder to all of us that we need to make a will and keep it updated too as circumstances change. Also to remind our partners to make a will especially if not married - but yours said he had and was either confused or forgetful, so what could you do.

Vultures.

If he had been no contact with his family they may not have known about her. Just been informed of his death and gone to lock up house to make sure it was secure? Maybe had an old long standing will he made 20+ years ago.

To quote her 'two children who he has not seen for 10+ years and other relatives still alive but again not spoken to in a very long time years and years.'

Of course he may have kept contact, unbeknown to her?

if you do get a will then I highly reccomend Marlow Wills
There is a lovely willwriter on mumsnet ( mumblechum was her user name and that is I believe her business name
I know that quite a few mumsnetters used her for wills

she did my late parents will including changing the deeds on the house to be 50 -50 and writing a life interest trust for the surviving spouse

all done over the phone and by post

Somethings not right with this, he was ill, knew he was dying but still didn't have a will? Why?
Unfortunately a verbal promise means nothing, it's very shit of his estranged family to come back now though.

If you were a teacher then you can get your final salary part of your pension from the TPS. In fact you should because it won't accrue any value. You will have a decent lump sum which you could use for housing.

Why are the family being castigated for turning up to sort out their father’s affairs and potentially possessions associated with their mother? The OP has had a relatively short relationship and a lifetime to make provision for herself. She chose to give up her home and work and make herself dependent on this man when he was ill, but his children are like rats up a drainpipe?

But the poster could have done so much better for herself.

No, as I've just posted to you, it was OP that phoned the children to inform them of their father's death, so if they didn't know previously about the nature of her relationship to their father, they certainly did after that phone call (and is likely why they felt the should turn up on her doorstep and tell her to leave).