Adult ds paying rent

[wildfellhall]

We want our son to pay some rent partly as I am not working at the moment. DH thinks it's important that he contributes as he's earning a good starting salary and is commuting into a city to do so.

We feel as if £100 per week is reasonable given his earnings and how much it costs to run the home.

But I know he feels it's a bit harsh emotionally although he agrees it's fair as well.

What do other people think?

If you are also cooking and feeding him and doing his laundry I would up that. He would struggle to find a place for say £800 a month rent in a city. He needs to know how much life as an adult costs.

Bit harsh. Why is he picking up the slack for you not working? £200 pcm seems fairer.

Not harsh at all.,He is an adult and needs to pay his way. £400 v reasonable in the circumstances

Not harsh at all. As an adult he should be contributing. It's not rent, it's contributing to the household.

It's just about covering the costs of the household, food, bills etc

£100 per week for everything is very reasonable.

Why should they pick up the slack of a grown man?

He is one of the adults in the house and is earning a salary. He should be paying towards costs whether or not his mum is working.

£100 is fine since your including the bills. He wouldn't even get a shared house for £400!

I think it’s a good life lesson for him. I’d find out and write down the costs of him renting elsewhere, probably in a flat share if he is young. Rent, bills (electricity, WiFi, Netflix! Etc) and food, and then next to it put the benefits he gets at home - for his ‘board’, eg food, laundry done, bills and rent. Clearly the difference will be high, and then say you and DH are prepared to subsidise him the difference (that is - between the 100/w vs the other amount).

Present it positively. You aren’t charging him, you are helping and subsidizing him. This helps him save!

But lastly, you say you aren’t working. Don’t get too dependent on the money. As when he wants to leave, you want it to be with good grace and maybe even a small gift of some money as a contribution to furniture or things in a positive way. Not in a ‘oh-no-how-will-we-cope-now’ way.

I doubt he uses £400 worth of bill pcm though. Their council tax will be no different for him being there, likewise they only have to heat one extra room potentially (his bedroom), if he showers that’s not much water. If they are also feeding him, then I agree he should contribute more for food costs. But if he buys his own food, £400 pcm is too much.

I don’t consider costs to be “incremental” costs. Occupying a house requires heating, lighting, water, tv license, council tax, rent or mortgage costs etc. Everyone uses the communal spaces of the house, they don’t just get to pay for their one shower a day and one light bulb use in their bedroom.

Not a good idea to get dependent on the money.

Also he may decide to move out into a house share - which costs more money but might cut his commute and he would be living with people his own age.

Can you maybe do a halfway house like he buys his own food or similar?

Where else could an adult get a room over his head, all bills covered and fed for £50 a week?

It is entirely possible to charge rent and not become dependent on the money.

It is a good thing if he decides to move out and can afford it.

You would hate me then, as my daughter pays more than £400 a month. Her choice to pay me and has more in savings.

100 a week is definitely not harsh but there shouldn't be any connection with you not working at present.

How old is he? An 18 year old adult or a 28 year old adult?

I'd discuss a percentage with him that's fair and reasonable

He won't be moving out of home anytime soon, not when he's paying a very low £400 per month all in, an amount I think is very reasonable, regardless of the silly 'picking up slack' argument. I bet he'll have at least £1K disposable income if he agrees to the £400.

When you say adult , how old is he ? And how much does he earn If still a teen then I think it's a bit much .. mine was they paid one of the bills and bought they own food

Of course he should be paying rent, whether you are working is irrelevant.

I can't believe how many on here are saying 'getting his laundry done'. The biggest favour you can do for your children, especially boys/men, is set the expectation that now they are working and an adult they need to act like one and are responsible for their own laundry and contributing to housework.

I don't see an issue with people paying rent at home really - but if it's to cover up a shortfall due to an adult parent not working and isn't proportional to the wage / circumstances of the adult child then it can seem quite harsh.

The idea of an adult child at home contributing to their usage / bills isn't a bad one (although my parents didn't personally ask us to pay). Would you be asking if you were working? It might seem mean to him that he's having to pay for you not to work? That's just thinking about it from how he might be considering it.

Things are really tough right now for the younger generations. We are going through the biggest recession in decades. Youth unemployment figures have gone through the roof. Properties are unaffordable.
And yet, instead of giving a helping hand to your son, you take this opportunity to make a financial gain on account of his suffering. Pathetic.

I paid my mum £200 a month 20 years ago!! £100 a week is very fair.

We charged dd £50 per week. But she was 21 on just above minimum wage and saving for uni. If she returns home after graduating and gets a professional job the charge would be more (depending on whether food was inluded)