How will I manage as an older single person once kids have left

[Dogmam9273]

I'm currently married with two teens. Wanting to separate but have felt trapped financially and with the kids as I couldn't have provided for them if i was single as I earn minimum wage, husband a high earner.
Very soon I will file for divorce, won't get any money out of it as we have hardly any savings but i will be able to buy a small apartment /house outright so will be mortgage free.
I work full time on minimum wage, can't see this ever changing, if anything i need to work less. I have chronic painful conditions , depression and anxiety (although that may go away once apart from husband) I have 2 elderly parents that I will be caring for as I'm an only child.
I know I can claim UC whilst children are with me /in education but what about when they are adults?
My income is £1500 which won't cover my outgoings or enable me to live any kind of life that I desperately crave. I feel so trapped and can't see a way out of my situation.
How do older single people manage financially? Especially if they have health conditions?

Actually, as someone who is trying to manage on this amount ( and with chronic health problems) it isn't very easy at all! I own my flat outright and don't have a mortgage.
I am hampered with a ridiculous service charge on my flat though which doesn't help (currently £380 pcm). The management company are totally useless too, but that's a whole other thread. It was nowhere near this amount when I bought the flat.
I do run a ( very old cheap) car but this gives me my independence and freedom and my quality of life would be very diminished without it. I can go and see friends and get to hobbies quickly etc without worrying about bus times, being out later at night etc. I see very important friends roughly once a week ( I'm a bit like a surrogate granny to their children) and it is a 30 minutes drive. I dread to think what it would be on public transport - probably about 2 hours each way!

Anyway, I'm trying to live on £1550 a month and I don't think I'm doing it quite. ( I fortunately have a bit of contingency funds I can eat into but don't want to do it too much as it has to last me). It is ok for everyday living but it is the annual extras like car insurance/servicing boiler servicing, Christmas presents that I can't manage. I can do very cheap camping ( about £10-12 pn) for a few days as a holiday but not much more and camping is getting to be too uncomfortable/difficult with my health issues. I would need to eat into my contingency money to buy a replacement fridge freezer/washing machine etc

I live in NW England so not the most expensive area.

I think it probably is doable just, but you need to take care over the property you buy ( be v careful about flats, check reputation of management company, length of lease etc but also how much might be needed to maintain/ repair a freehold property). It would mean a very careful standard of living to the point of it being not much fun at times!

I bet that is after council tax, utilities, service charge etc!

How much does the lifestyle you crave cost compared to what you’ll have coming in? Why do you want to leave him?

£1500pcm is enough to live off when you don’t have a mortgage. For some, this is their take home pay and manage.

Thats what it says, after bills

I pay £900 in mortgage and utillities and I pay my car, ins and phone bill and then after that I have £1100 for food, clothes, etc. I do not qualify for any help or claim any benefits apart from CB for the youngest - that's included in whats left over

OP you might have been better posting this in Divorce, but nonetheless people are raising some good points here. I am in a similar situation. I'm 62 and divorced ex-H last year, but I waited too long as my youngest DD now 21 is disabled and I thought I couldn't manage on my own. I knew it had to be done though, and although its been hard I still know it's the right thing. I will be getting a small amount of equity from our house, simply because there wasn't much equity in it. I get a slightly larger share in return for not splitting pensions. I'll still have to get a mortgage though, and I'm 62. My earnings are around £1.9k take home a month and I can't earn any more due to being a carer for DD21 and my own health. So I'm in an even worse position than you but if you know its right to split, then you know its right and you should follow through.

When you first see a solicitor, before you show your hand to your H, write down what money you think is in the marriage, so the house, what you suspect his pensions might be, your pension (did you ever get a private pension from a job for example) anything else you think is around like shares. Give the solicitor an idea of what you'd like to do e.g., have you seen houses or flats that might suit, where do you think he would go if the house was sold etc. I saw one for a fixed fee of about £80 first of all, although some do free consultations initially. Then I saw her again, this time I paid the full fee and she did a written fact finding and recommendations. That was important to have. I've done most of it myself but we will need a solicitor for the financial order and as your kids sound like they're under 18 you might need more legal advice. If you go on the Divorce thread, MNHQ have pinned a link to something called "Advice Now" which is an amazing resource.

So yes, it will be hard. So is living with an arsehole you don't love. Choose your hard.

I think it's very natural to be scared about relying on one low wage, especially when you have health problems and worry you won't be able to keep working.

It will be a big lifestyle change - going from living as a family to as a single person - regardless of money. You will have to think about your living expenses as they would be then, not as they are now. Very likely you will have to make some lifestyle changes, but is it the freedom you crave, not material assets? In the meantime, when it comes to it, make sure you have a good lawyer and find out what you are entitled to.

As pp suggested, it may be a good option to move in with your DP, but without details, it's hard to know if this would work for you.

Well 💯!
I crave a yacht and and Lamborghini, but on a mediocre salary not going to happen! C'est la vie 😏

You should be fine on £1500. I earn similar and pay rent, bills, car, food and several holidays a year. Plenty of luxuries, and still able to save a decent amount.

How will I manage as an older single person once kids have left?
With a mortgage free home and £1.5k a month for myself as no dependants?

"Just fine" is the answer

But the op is saying that £1500 is all she has each month. Even without a mortgage,- utilities, council tax, car costs , phone etc will add up to more than £400 pcm

I'd like to see your breakdown of how this would work! 😂

You absolutely need to get a share of your dh pension. That is how you’ll cope of your ill health eventually stops you working FT.

Also - could you move in with your parents? It makes sense to share hearing bills, gives you and them company and reduces stress. You could still buy the small property and let it out , giving you a small income, then you can end the lease and move back in once your parents are passed.

Heating bills not hearing bills! Sorry

You will be fine there will be no mortgage and if you pick your new home wisely very low bills. Start planning now. Check the council tax in your area for band b or c and remember it’s 25% off of that for a single person, i expect that will be Approx £180. So you will have 1300 left (after mortgage we live on the same amount as thats our housekeeping per month for three of us in a semi and also covers the council tax).

start living on 1300 a month now and you will start realising how far it stretches. Save £300 per month if you can so you build up a buffer for furniture etc when you leave. Save it as cash somewhere safe so your husband does not know and it’s not divided as joint savings. That takes you to £1000 so that’s £100 for utilities, £100 for travel to work £200 for food and toiletries £100 for little treats or Clothes for work. You are still £500 clear so a great figure.

Utilities and insurances maybe £700 at a push probably less. Food for one person £300. Leaving £500 for petrol , day to day living and treats.

You will be entitled to a share of any savings your dh has and pension too.

I would suggest holding off on divorcing (if possiblle, I don’t know the circumstances) and getting a qualification under your belt eg teaching, nursing. That way you have started a career before separating.

Speak to a solicitor regarding equitable division of assets. You will likely be entitled to a portion of your husband’s pension pot.

How do older single people manage financially?

We train so we can maximise income; we work hard to get promoted so we can maximise; we pay into a pension; we pay off our mortgages as fast as possible even if that means having very little discretionary spending money. We don't rely on a man for our income or well-being.

I don't have the luxury of having someone else pay off my mortgage nor 2 incomes; I'll be paying mine till I'm 68. It's been far more expensive throughout my life living as a single person, partly because I save as much as possible to shore up my old age. And I plan to work until I'm at least 70, if not longer.

Is there any training or re-training you could do?

Get a grip.

You sound terribly 'woe is me'.

Mortgage free, working full time- even on minimum wage is a lot more disposable income than most.

👆 this. Much more eloquent than me.

Also, her children are of an age where she may get UC, she will get maintenance until the children leave education, this would be on top of the £1500 which is her income, she would also get a 25% reduction on council tax

Your rent must be dirt cheap.

what happens if your landlord sells up and you have to move in old age? How would you afford rent then?

Are you in a secure council/ housing assoc set up?
That makes a huge difference if you're not living with the insecurity of a private tenancy.

When I separated from my ex (v. late forties) I had enough money for a three bed semi. I worked, salary was similar to yours, and I had very little private pension. I decided to buy a much smaller house, two up two down and a one bed flat that I rented, this boosted my income by more than 50%, something to think about op when your children have moved on. I loved my little cottage, I felt it wrapped me up, like in a huge blanket.

I'm factoring in the council tax reduction. I don't find it easy on £1500 for just me as a single person. The op may get UC for a child under 18 but she will have expenses for that child too!

No council tax? Most people pay anywhere from £250-£300 a month.

Insurance? What sort?

Car repairs and services, phone, TV?