How will I manage as an older single person once kids have left

[Dogmam9273]

I'm currently married with two teens. Wanting to separate but have felt trapped financially and with the kids as I couldn't have provided for them if i was single as I earn minimum wage, husband a high earner.
Very soon I will file for divorce, won't get any money out of it as we have hardly any savings but i will be able to buy a small apartment /house outright so will be mortgage free.
I work full time on minimum wage, can't see this ever changing, if anything i need to work less. I have chronic painful conditions , depression and anxiety (although that may go away once apart from husband) I have 2 elderly parents that I will be caring for as I'm an only child.
I know I can claim UC whilst children are with me /in education but what about when they are adults?
My income is £1500 which won't cover my outgoings or enable me to live any kind of life that I desperately crave. I feel so trapped and can't see a way out of my situation.
How do older single people manage financially? Especially if they have health conditions?

My income is £1500 which won't cover my outgoings or enable me to live any kind of life that I desperately crave. I feel so trapped and can't see a way out of my situation

I think many of us can't afford the kind of life that we desperately crave, and that is just normal. £1500 pcm isn't full time surely? Regardless, it's a decent income if you have no housing costs, you'll just have to cut your cloth to suit your means.

If your H is a high earner, why haven’t you got savings?

Have you added up your outgoings against his income?

Is he shunting high amounts into a pension (of which you will be entitled to a share) or into savings you don’t know about?

Start being pro active. Do some digging. Start your own secret savings account: NMW is going up!

I'm in my early 60s and am also lucky enough to be mortgage free. I'm planning to mainly retire next year and have calculated that £1500 a month is more than adequate for bills/food/evening classes/some trips to London and the occasional holiday. I will continue to do bits of work which will pay for big holidays and a new (but second hand) car until the state pension kicks in. At which point I'll stop working entirely! I would really recommend going through all your costs to reassure yourself and also setting up a separate account which you transfer say £100 a month to. This then pays for big ticket items when needed. You'll be fine!

This, presumably you'd qualify for some kind of small carer's allowance too.

I guess they're asset rich with a mortgage free family home which, if sold, will release enough equity to provide the apartment the OP describes.

If you don’t feel that is enough and you don’t have any option to earn more money then stay in your marriage.

This sounds like it's about lifestyle.

Basically, your options are to remain with a high earning husband you don't want to be with but enjoy his money and the lifestyle associated with that, or live independently but on less. Only you can make that decision, but mortgage free on 1.5k per month is not a barrier to cutting loose.

You need to speak to a lawyer about what you can expect from any divorce settlement OP, but a 50:50 split typically means the starting point for negotiations is half of everything inc. property, investments, pensions, savings, etc. So if your high-earning DH has a good pension, you should get a share of this. Basically, all the assets of the marriage are considered as one pot.

As for your £1500 going forward - if that is genuinely what you will have to live off then you will need to adjust your lifestyle accordingly. That means considering whether you can afford to run the car you have or whether you need to get one that is cheaper to run/maintain, your bills should be lower in a smaller property, you will get a council tax single person rebate, you may be entitled to tax credits, etc. Look at the entitledto website to get an idea of whether you will qualify for any benefits/top-ups to your minimum wage salary. But the government isn't going to top it up to the level of lifestyle you say you 'crave'!

This! It's laughable to think it won't be enough, @Dogmam9273 {Mortgage free}

£1500 is doable without rent or a mortgage.

If he is a high earner likely you will get more than 50.% of house value
He has more ability to get a mortgage etc
Or more of the pension pot

There are some rather unkind comments here, which feel unnecessary. OP is stressed, worried and navigating something unfamiliar.

OP: I'd echo others and say go see a solicitor. Useful information to have in hand are DH's payslips, house value, pension details and value (for both of you), details of any other accounts and investments.

When you think about the lifestyle you want / need, what does that look like in detail? Where do you live? What kind of property? What work are you doing, and on what terms? Do you need to run a car? Holidays? Hobbies? It's worth articulating this so that you can get to the bottom of what you can afford and what things will look like.

I think 1500 is ok excluding mortgage/ rent. Not loads, but ok.

If you don't think you can afford the lifestyle your want, you either need to focus on how to earn more, or lower your lifestyle expectations to meet your finances.

As an older single person this is how you could live

1 state pension
2 private occupational pension
3 salary - no compulsory retirement age so you can carry on part time.

The priority should be trying to improve your health (you don't say what's wrong or if it's treatable) so that you can carry on working and even looking for something other than a minimum wage job.

You say you don't have savings, but presumably your ex-H will have a pension and you can claim some of that as part of the divorce settlement.

If you've not seen a solicitor now, you need to, in order to make sure you get a good settlement if you've been married a long time and not worked much because of raising children.

Please don't just accept any old agreement from the ex, such as 'half the house' where he runs off with a decent pension.

You need legal advice.

£1500 after housing costs is plenty to live on.

Lots of single people manage this perfectly comfortably including me, still while overpaying the mortgage, paying into a pension etc. You just can't splash the cash, that's all

go onto entitledto.com and see if you will qualify for any help.

You say you have chronic conditions and ideally you should be working less - is it bad enough that you would qualify for any help through PIP

Also, child maintenance when children are younger

I manage on £1100 after bills with 3 grown up kids at home, it just takes some planning

I’m certain that your anxiety and hopefully your depression will lift when you are split up. Can you start proceedings now? You don’t want to leave it for too long as you want to get on with the rest of your life! Good luck to you- it’s hard but I think you will be ok and your life will be improved substantially 🙂 (and yes you will be entitled to half his pension- depending on your age you can use some of it now).

If you don't think you'll be able to live on £1500 a month then you'll need to get a second job. That's the only answer.

So you will be in the same, or better, position as loads of other people. I get 1300 a month (disabled, PIP, UC with lcwra). I have no mortgage. There isn't any spare money, but I don't think I'm alone in this position.

£1500 a month is not a fortune.

It's under £400 a week and a lot could be swallowed up by council tax , utility bills, running a car, food, house repairs, etc.

It's doable but isn't a fortune.

Presumably your husband has a decent pension pot if he’s a high earner. You’ll get half of that.

Is it worth looking into carers allowance if you find you have tonreduce your working hours to support your parents (or could you all live together to reduce outgoings?).

You don't automatically get half a pension.
It all goes into the 'pot' and the lawyers divvy it up.

If the OP is still youngish (ie under 60) she'd be expected to work and it's preferable to have a clean break in divorce without 'half the pension' being paid.

They may agree that she gets a bigger lump sum or more of the house value, but half the pension isn't a 'right'.

How old are you?