How will I manage as an older single person once kids have left

[Dogmam9273]

I'm currently married with two teens. Wanting to separate but have felt trapped financially and with the kids as I couldn't have provided for them if i was single as I earn minimum wage, husband a high earner.
Very soon I will file for divorce, won't get any money out of it as we have hardly any savings but i will be able to buy a small apartment /house outright so will be mortgage free.
I work full time on minimum wage, can't see this ever changing, if anything i need to work less. I have chronic painful conditions , depression and anxiety (although that may go away once apart from husband) I have 2 elderly parents that I will be caring for as I'm an only child.
I know I can claim UC whilst children are with me /in education but what about when they are adults?
My income is £1500 which won't cover my outgoings or enable me to live any kind of life that I desperately crave. I feel so trapped and can't see a way out of my situation.
How do older single people manage financially? Especially if they have health conditions?

Is your partner a student too, then, seeing as you're not paying council tax?

You're not actually living alone as a single person then are you?

Actually it’s less than that because there’s more than 4 weeks in a month. It’s £340 per month so £78.50 per week.

Not actually a single person living alone at all then! Clearly bills split down the middle!

@Dogmam9273 I'm mortgage free and live alone. Total income £1400 per month. I have a good life and manage to save £600 per month.

With no rent or mortgage£1500 a month is plenty for one.

I have a friend who earns less as less than full time hours and pays rent. She lives in a small flat and goes on holiday each year. Reduce your expectations and expenditures. It can be done.

Yeah I’m aware I’m different but she would have no mortgage! So council tax and increased utilities would easily be absorbed by the amount I pay in rent. Plus as she would already have a house (and would be entitled to some of her exs pension) she wouldn’t have a need to save so much.
Everyone spends different amounts of money on different things, I was just sharing my situation and some of my costs. I don’t get why you’re attacking me?
And no my partner isn’t a student, he pays council tax.

But then she would be one of those evil landlords that this government are intent on punishing.

This is excellent advice. A friend of mine divorced her husband after he started with the financial abuse - she'd given up a very good job + excellent pension to follow his work & raise their daughter.

Her lawyer started by asking for a 70/30 split of marital assets in my friend's favour, to account for the income (salary + pension) foregone as part of her commitment to the marriage.

She got 60% of all marital assets.

You need to see what you might get from UC. Its designed to reward working parents so you may get something.
If your H does not take 50/50 custody then you will get child maintenance too.
Are you entitled to any disability benefits? Even if you are not eligible now, you may be in the future if your condition worsens.

You will also be entitled to some of his pension in a divorce.

£1500 is not a lot for you and kids, it will be tight, and there is no way of getting away from that. So look into all options for increasing your income..

Your council is likely to have ' into work' programmes. They change all the time but there may be designed to help working people get better jobs (the term is 'underemployed' for people who want to work more hours or who want to get a higher paying role). You may be able to get onto a scheme like that which will help you to get what you need to get a higher paying job.

Can't see council tax on this or broadband/ phone?

Just comparing with my expenses.

I spend more on food - about 40-45 per week but I do need to eat gluten free
My service charge is £380 ( see above for stuff about stupid management company that I did not realise when I bought the flat)
My utilities are a bit more including water - about £100 pcm
My car insurance is more - about £50 pcm ( also I buy yearly) and contents insurance about £10 pcm
I think I spend about £40 pcm on petrol unless I am visiting friends/ relations at a distance.
Similar cost on car maintenance. ( £50 pcm)
My council tax is about £140 pcm
Phone broadband Amazon subscriptions etc is about £110 pcm
Denplan is £36 pcm
Boiler service £10 pcm

So that is £1111 on essentials leaving £389 available.

I have NT, YHA and Camping and Caravan Club membership at about £22 pcm
Charities £45 pcm
Birthdays and Christmas presents about £60pcm

I don't know what i spend on clothes but not so much since retirement. I buy a lot from eBay/ vinted. I'll say £20

I do spend on hobbies. I'll be generous and say £30 pcm but I'm not too sure. More in summer than winter I think.

My biggest semi-discretional cost at the moment is £205 pcm for psychotherapy which is really annoying essential for me at the moment as makes such a huge difference to my mental health.

This comes to £382 so I guess that is where all my money is going!

It has been quite useful to see this breakdown!

Where can you get free pension advice if over 50?

Every time I load the internet I am faced with an article warning about the perils of "not having the heating on much". Humidity, damp, mould, smells, illness - plus of course there's feeling chilled to the bone in our damp climate.

People should be allowed to factor in heating expenses and not have it dismissed as a frivolous luxury.

It will be sufficient, Dogmam, just not much left for extras. However your husband will presumably pay child support and you can claim child allowance. I think you will manage. A lot of people don't have much, or even any, savings. We didn't as parents of young child, only debts and overdrafts though both worked :-). I can laugh about it now all these years later, contentedly retired, but it was very stressful a lot of the time. However we survived.

You are in a better position than most, honestly; not having a mortgage counts for a lot and if your health improves, that will be great.

Good luck for the future.

I keep my flat at 19.5°c as otherwise I do start to feel the cold plus I run a dehumidifier to help dry washing. I don't think it costs that much though.
I do quite a bit of shopping in Lidl too.

£1500 a month mortgage-free isn't loads but certainly do-able. Your energy bills and council tax will reduce if moving from a larger home to a smaller flat. Food bills will go down when teens move out (or if they stay, they'll have to pay rent and bills like any other adult).

I'm downsizing after divorce and have just worked out that my non-mortgage costs, including food, petrol, insurance, etc. will be about £1200 a month, but that's with 3 kids at home and planning for a 3-4 bedroom house.

From my experience as long as you are mortgage or rent free you can live on a pension.
I’m asset rich income poor as my pensions combined would look pitiful compared to most of the incomes on MN. I run a car, bought new, and have several short holidays a year. No debt.
From your income of £1500 I’d be putting 50% of that each month into savings based on my outgoings.
I think you’ll be fine, start keeping a record of everything you spend so you get into the habit of seeing where it all goes.

My Mum is on her own and gets the reductions but her CT is still over £200 a month and her utilities are around £150 a month, more in colder weather.

I don't think your posts are relevant because you're living a student lifestyle, not that of a single woman in her late 40s/ 50s and you have the back up/ security of living with someone else who earns more than you.

And you rent was never what you said as it's only 50%.

The state pension if you get the full amount is just around £850 a month.

Ah @Raspberryripple11
You don't live as the only adult in your home?
It is always cheaper to live as a couple, especially when it comes to utilities. I can understand why yours are so low now.

I think £1500 should be an ok amount to live on too when you are mortgage free.

We try and run off Dave Ramsay percentages, in your case it'd be something like this:

Savings 10% - £150pm (Aim for £1000 emergency fund, then a 6 month emergency fund) - £1800pa

Food 15% - £225pm - £2700pa

Utilities 10% - £150pm (Gas/Electric/Broadband/Sim only deal) - £1800pa

Housing Costs 10% - £150pm (Council Tax only) - £1800pa

Transport 20% - £300pm (small car payment & fuel) - £3600pa

Insurances 10% - £150pm (Life, Car & Home) - £1800pa

Recreation 10% - £150pm (Netflix, socialising) - £1800pa

Personal Spending 7.5% - £112.50pm (Clothing/footwear) - £1350pa

Miscellaneous 7.5% - £112.50pm - Whatever you want - £1350pa

100% - £1500pm - £18,000pa take home pay

So a rough idea breaking into categories and percentages. The biggest expense will probably be transport. Maybe you won't have a car payment or a car at all and decide to use public transport. It's a starting point and you can move funds about the categories.

Another poster said you may get half his pension, so maybe your income will be more than £1500 and NMW is to go up next year too.

Food will be tricky, you might need to up it. If you've had a big lifestyle, maybe you've never had to budget for food and that may be hard and a learning curve for you. Maybe get some budget cookbooks, mealplan, switch to aldi and lidl etc.

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In an unrelated note, if you have been together for a long time, have you discussed your marriage, its a big change kids getting ready to move on independently.

Have you tried marriage counselling or discussed why you are unhappy, is he also unhappy?

Maybe you both are a bit lost individually, maybe you have both lost your identity and that's hard.

Raising a family is very hard, you've both done the hard part, this should be time for you to look forward to time together.

Can you plan some trips together.

Watch some videos about marriage - jimmyonrelationships on youtube is quite good.

Do you have regular frank and open conversations about your marriage? Does he discuss it or bring it up?

If neither of you are discussing it, there's no infidelity or abuse and you are secretly planning to leave, it seems a bit of a waste without trying to give your relationship the time it possibly needs.

Maybe you feel neglected, maybe he feels neglected, maybe the marriage feels neglected. Sometimes these things are fixable. x

I'm alone, late 40s. Have a decent job, with income of £3k per month. I still have a mortgage of around £900pcm. I'm also disabled, which means I have to pay for a cleaner, and some additional other help. Means my disposable income isn't much different to yours. I manage. Live quite comfortably, actually. It is possible.
In the kindest possible way, it's time to give your head a wobble, and realise that you've probably been living a higher life with your husband's higher earnings, and it's time to look at what's possible for you when that changes. (Oh, and yes, his pension needs to be split!)

Also, if you own a home without a mortgage you do have to budget for maintenance/repairs which you don't if you are renting. Also things like replacement of white goods.

£1500 a month is more than those of us who will just have the state pension (which is about £732 a month). If I reach age 67 retirement age I will carry on working so loads of tax will then also be taken off my state pension but there is no other choice.

Good luck. Make sure you have some legal advice from a solicitor eg you will need a clean break financial order sealed by the court otherwise your ex husband could come after your assets later. You should change any will you have made already. You might want to insure his life pending decree absolute etc etc

I wish I had £1500 a month to live on. To be honest that is more than enough to live on, when you don’t have a mortgage to pay. You ask “How do older single people manage financially? Especially if they have health conditions?” That describes me, I am the single (widowed) person, with a significant disability. How do I manage financially? I budget, looking where I can save money. I use companies like Topcashback, when my car or home insurance is due, or even when shopping and changing utilities, which keeps these payments at a doable level.

Sit down and list everything you do need to pay for every month and how much it costs, that should help you with your budgeting and let you see where you can save money. I suppose it all comes down to what sort of life you “desperately crave”! If you want fancy holidays, expensive clothes, meals out etc. then of course it won’t be doable. However, if you’re happy with a simpler lifestyle, with the odd holiday flung in, £1500 is ample. I get around £1200 (not old enough to get a state pension, for another 5 years) a month with my and my late dh’s pensions and my PIP payments and that is enough to live on, plus put away about £200 - £300 into my savings account, for Christmas and birthdays etc. My family joke that it costs more to feed my cats than feed myself and they are probably right!