How will I manage as an older single person once kids have left

[Dogmam9273]

I'm currently married with two teens. Wanting to separate but have felt trapped financially and with the kids as I couldn't have provided for them if i was single as I earn minimum wage, husband a high earner.
Very soon I will file for divorce, won't get any money out of it as we have hardly any savings but i will be able to buy a small apartment /house outright so will be mortgage free.
I work full time on minimum wage, can't see this ever changing, if anything i need to work less. I have chronic painful conditions , depression and anxiety (although that may go away once apart from husband) I have 2 elderly parents that I will be caring for as I'm an only child.
I know I can claim UC whilst children are with me /in education but what about when they are adults?
My income is £1500 which won't cover my outgoings or enable me to live any kind of life that I desperately crave. I feel so trapped and can't see a way out of my situation.
How do older single people manage financially? Especially if they have health conditions?

This
and understandably so!
Im panicking even though I've done the math for living alone, no mortgage no debts, super stressed, lack of sleep. It's a worrying time and things overwhelm you and you dont think, never mind work things out correctly.
if you do divorce, make sure you use a solicitor (or lawyer if you're in america!) .
and gor those saying OP only needs a small flat, what about when her children come to stay, empathy please. !!!

1- the OP already works full time!!
2- 72% of women are working. But 40% are working part time

so it’s not a question if women leeching off men!

Or of you want to word it like this, it’s men abusing the free labour from women, forcing them into part ti e employment and reducing their opportunities fir a career.
But yes as soon as women have children, their wages also plummet vs men, all for the same job and same hours.
All of that add to women earning less when they become mothers.
Im amazed that comes as a surprise for you or that you think it’s women being lazy. None of what I mentioned is a revelation.

Hmm… I’m a woman with children too… thanks for mansplaining how life is for women for me 🙄

Yawn… 🥱🥱🥱
I don’t know it seems to me that you don’t if you think it’s as easy as ‘working harder to have better than a MW job’

Or maybe that’s just jealousy. Who knows….

Agreed.
MN is certainly an eye opener that often proves the stereotype correct.

Jealous of what? Aren’t you a nasty piece of work!

Yes, complaining about a free apartment and “only £1500” a month to live off…

I feel sorry for the poor man who has had to finance everything.

You may be able to get spousal maintenance as well as child maintenance from your soon to be ex husband if he has been subsidising your lifestyle so far and can afford to do so going forward.

I own my home outright. I have one kid at uni one on their own.
Council tax: £180/month
Utilities: £10/month
House Insurance: £110/month
Car insurance: £50/month
TV license: £14/month
Boiler service contract: £30/month
Car annual MOT/service: £25/month
Phone (I still pay for the one at uni): £70/month
Broadband/Sky: £50
Food: £400
Top up for uni student: £200/month.
Total: £1139

I'd say that's bare minimum and I'm sure I forgotten a bill or two and have purposely left out things like Prime. Plus assumes I have no credit card debt.
So that leaves £361/month to pay for petrol/transport, parking permit, any extras like clothes or presents like Xmas/birthdays. Going to the dentist. And I might just want to meet a friend for a coffee or a drink. Or buy a book or newspaper. And God forbid my car breaks down or I need to make a repair to my house!

It's doable but very tight and one roof repair/car breakdown from real issues.

Plus do you all think kids are self supporting once they hit 18?

and your income?

@mondaytosunday
Utilities:£10 per month??

That feels very low, esp if it includes water too

Go and see a solicitor and get some early legal advice now. This will help you visualise life on the other side of divorce and how to go about things and work out what you can expect in terms of division of assets. If there are no children to factor in during the divorce arrangements this may impact how the assets and finances are divided. The starting point is 50/50. You have housing needs to be accomodated for. If you also have long - term conditions and disability potentially you could claim spousal maintenance - worth asking about. You would also have a right to a division of his pension which is also a valuable assets as well as the property and any other assets. If he is a high earner its surprising you have barely any savings as a couple. Might there be other accounts you are not aware of? Full disclosure should happen during a divorce financial settlement but doesnt always. Take some profer professional advice and best of luck

Utilities £10 a month??
council tax £180 a month?
where do you live? 😂

You need to work out a budget based on realistic outgoings, look at what you spend now and what you can cut.
before the divorce you should consider mediation and they will expect you both to do this budget exercise.
After food, council tax, bills and car expenses the money doesn’t go that far. You need to look at all this before working out where you can actually afford to live. Don’t forget that Divorce has a cost as well, even if you do it the no fault route, there will be costs. Try to save money now if you can.
sadly I know all this from current situation. It’s hard, be sure you. An do it.

If you're going to be literally living alone, £1,500 is definitely plenty to live on, when you won't have rent or a mortgage to pay. If I can manage it with a reduced rent and a teenager, I'm sure you can on your own!

Whilst you have minimal savings you will be entitled to some of his pension (assuming he has one as a high earner) and that will be given as cash, or a higher proportion of the house. They don’t always split the house share 50-50. They will look at ability to purchase another property and factor in salary. So you may be entitled to more than you think. As others have said £1500 with no mortgage / rent is definitely do-able. Consider how much you spend on a house, can you spend less and have some savings to fall back on?

Good luck. The real reward will be freeing yourself from an unhappy marriage, you’ll definitely be ok.

Assume there’s a zero missed from £10. No doubt. But I pay £170 council tax and live in surrey (a flat so lower tax band). It’s also very cheap for utilities. I am renting a flat for 2yrs until I move back north and purchase a house, so very much enjoying the cheap living in a flat.

@mondaytosunday how do you only pay £10 per month on utilities? Who’s your provider I need to switch now!

Ahh that would make sense.!
we’re all different, I don’t think I’d like a flat..I like my garden too much!

It’s interesting to see the differences in things we dint have much control over. Like water and council tax.
Currently paying £210 per month on council tax and nearly £70/month for water.
Probably need to go on a water meter now there’s only 2 of us. But it makes even £100 for utilities, incl water like nothing at all.

Also I would start stashing a bit away before declaring the divorce, sure he will have some
money you are not aware of to
ime they always do

Maybe and evening class , actually it’s also about making friends to that really helps not easy but walking group etc
good place to start , build your own life first
as building it around another man leaves you
with the same situation if it doesn’t work out

This can't be right

Water
Gas
Electricity

As bare basics in a home wouid be more than 10 or 100 surely

I would think it's doable but the other issue would be how would you afford to live if you, or indeed how do others cope, if retired. 🤔