Renting while parents own over £1.4million in property

[Emmav2020]

Just after peoples thoughts. So myself and OH pay £1000 in rent a month aswell as having 2 kids and paying a fortune in childcare. My parents own the above amount in property. Now while ive spend over £50,400 paying rent i was thinking and kind of got myself annoyed that my parents are sat on that kind of money while im still renting. Even if they gave me a small deposit i would be forever grateful just so we can get ourselves a mortgage and onto the property ladder. my sister was given a hefty chunk my her in-laws to buy a house so shes find.
I mean we have save a bit ourselves but its nowhere near what we need
Would you be annoyed or do i have no right in thinking they could help us just a little.

my parents have millions in their bank account, they did pay for my university education and also gave me £10k as a wedding gift. DH and I own our flat but its a small 2 bed flat in London measuring 53 sq m which is lovely and cosy for us (and a good place for us as we have fertility issues and having such a small place makes us feel less sad about being childless) but many people wouldn't regard it as a family home. We bought that with our own savings and income though admittedly we did get help from MIL living with her while we saved.

My parents could help us upsize easily and it wouldn't make a dent to their quality of living or retirement but I don't expect them to. in some ways my situation isn't that different from yours. While I own, I don't own the most optimum home (in most people's eyes anyway). You rent but for you that isn't the most optimal housing situation. Unless you are close to being homeless, many people wouldn't have the most ideal living situation (in 2024) but its not our parents' job necessarily to make that easier though I understand it can feel unfair. I would blame the government rather than your parents as it is their housing policy that led to this situation of housing being an inheritocracy.

As I see that you are adults and you've made adult decisions in having children.

You shouldn't expect your parents to support you for your whole life. They have their own financial obligations to themselves.

Like others have posted

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/money-matters/4608305-family-member-landlord-and-universal-credits

what happened to the house you rented off them in 2022?

With Labour government expected to increase inheritance taxes to plug the budget, any parent wanting to minimise inheritance tax should start thinking about The Great Wealth Transfer.

Now that property is relatively so much more expensive than it was a few decades ago, IMO if parents can afford to help adult dcs, it’s mean if they don’t. We have helped ours, and I will freely admit that we were fortunate to be able to do so.

But being able to afford to do it is the question, so if all the money, or most of it, is tied up in their own home, they probably can’t. And if they’re retired, any savings might well be needed for income, from the interest.

No, you have no right to be annoyed. It's their money not yours and just because they have assets it doesn't mean that they have lots of spare cash available to give you.

They definitely are not.
Simple.

How do you see it working OP? I mean, if their home is worth 1.4 million, are you suggesting they sell up and give you some of the money, and then buy something smaller? Or would you expect them to remortgage to release some of the equity? Depending on whether they are still working or retired, would this even be an option?

So OP's thread title is completely misleading if that's true!

I disagree with posters who think parents shouldn't help (if they can afford to, because lots can't - and related, selling up and moving somewhere cheaper meaning being isolated at an older age when most in need of being near support is not a reasonable expectation). I want to help my own DC when they're older - if I'm able to.

However if the post I've quoted is true then OPs parents are helping. She's living in a home they own paying reduced rent (and will probably eventually inherit it).

Its not even as if the parents fully own it if they're paying a mortgage (guessing they either inherited before the grandparents had paid off the mortgage or they bought out a sibling).

What more does she want? Them to sign it over now? That could be seen as deprivation of assets if her parents need care later on. It could also be that her parents want to protect her inheritance if ever she splits up from her husband. Or maybe OP has siblings and obviously her parents would want any inheritance or help to be equal. The other issue is, presumably as OP seems unable to get a mortgage despite paying a reduced rent, she might not get approved by a lender to take over her parents mortgage.

OP you're in a lucky position and seem ungrateful. Your parents are helping you and that's more than many parents can afford to do.

You haven't given us much information to go on. Your parents' could own property worth £1.4m, be mortgage-free and have healthy savings. Or they could have a hefty mortgage and little disposable income. Or be somewhere in between.

A £1.4m house isn't necessarily a grand house - in London for example. But as you live a couple of minutes away and are only paying £1k a month rent I suspect you/they aren't in London (ds and his gf are paying over £1k a month each for a small flat in London).

But I do sympathise and I couldn't watch a dc of mine struggle and be unable to get on the property ladder if it was within my means to help. We are planning to downsize in a year or two to release capital to help our dcs with deposits.

Or start enjoying their money because you can't take it with you!

Unless you ask , they won't do it? Partially because they play it blind or because it suits them.

Ask them and see their response. It will tell you all you need to know.

You have not answered any questions clarifying your parents situation. So it sounds like they live in an expensive house and you want them to sell up and move so they can give you money?

No I wouldn't be annoyed. You've quite an entitled attitude.

Whether we decide to help our kids will be very much dependent on whether they help themselves, if they don't make the effort to save and work hard we won't be making up for their feckless behaviour. Expecting parents to fund your lifestyle is more than a bit cheeky.

I rented for ages while my parents had a massive lump sum in the bank and were mortgage free in a nice home.

I never asked them for anything. Because I'd seen how hard they worked to get to that position and taking their security for their retirement is not something I would ever want to do.

We now own. We worked really hard to save the deposit, and when we were ready, both sets of parents gave us some money to either increase the deposit, helping on LTV, or pay the fees. We gratefully accepted, but they only gave because they knew we didn't expect and had worked for it ourselves.

There's a lot of satisfaction in doing things for yourself. Much more than sitting around bitching that your parents aren't handing you everything on a plate.

One of my friends has her two kids eyeing up their inheritance - trying to get their hands on her money before she dies, trying to encourage her to sell up and buy something smaller - neither do anything to help her out yet they always have their hands out asking for more - it's disgusting behaviour.

Everyone here will say YABU OP it’s a waste of time posting. I actually agree to some extent that parents should help their children out if they can. Lots of people around your parents age probably accrued wealth because their property increased in value enormously which simultaneously makes it incredibly difficult for you to buy. It would probably be a small proportion of the £1.4m that could be a deposit on a home.

They check, because of money laundering, inheritance tax etc. When my sister sold her house the first time buyers had to prove where their deposit came from, if there's no evidence of a savings account.

According to today's FT, the Great Wealth Transfer will happen over the next 20 years. Millennials and Gen Z are set to inherit £1tn in the UK in the remainder of this decade alone. (Precis of para 2 as the article is paywalled, and the rest is mostly advice for those leaving money on doing so thoughtfully, which being the FT means minimising tax liabilities.)

So the OP is likely to do well, just not as soon as she would like.

They check where the money came from and you sign to say it’s a gift but they’re not checking after that if you’re paying it back or not!

They don't check whether or not you give it back later...

Are you both working to maximise your incomes and potential to buy your own home? I am less inclined to help DC who are not helping themselves as much as they can.

What have you been doing for yourselves Op?

Our house is our only asset.

Who knows what the future holds?

If we downsize I doubt we'll be giving the proceeds away tbh!

Op-where are you?