Renting while parents own over £1.4million in property

[Emmav2020]

Just after peoples thoughts. So myself and OH pay £1000 in rent a month aswell as having 2 kids and paying a fortune in childcare. My parents own the above amount in property. Now while ive spend over £50,400 paying rent i was thinking and kind of got myself annoyed that my parents are sat on that kind of money while im still renting. Even if they gave me a small deposit i would be forever grateful just so we can get ourselves a mortgage and onto the property ladder. my sister was given a hefty chunk my her in-laws to buy a house so shes find.
I mean we have save a bit ourselves but its nowhere near what we need
Would you be annoyed or do i have no right in thinking they could help us just a little.

A housing deposit can't be a loan, it has to be a gift with no payback requ.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/money-matters/4608305-family-member-landlord-and-universal-credits?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Why should they give you their money??? I don't get it. You're an adult. You pay your own way.

Depends.

1.4m is the price of a 3 bed terrace in a reasonable part of London.

If they are working they probably need space for home office.

If it is property in addition to their home is it part of their pension plan? A lot of people bought property instead of a pension, especially if self employed.

Every normal person struggles at the childcare / housing costs pinch point, though I appreciate it is much harder now for young families to buy a house.

Have you spoken to them about whether it would be possible for them to assist you with a deposit in any way?

Threads on here pop up pretty often with entitled people thinking it's somehow unfair that their parents are doing well financially.

If you can't afford a house then that's on you. Your parents' property is irrelevant.

Surely it can be a loan, you just don't tell the mortgage company that!

I suggest you take time to learn a bit more about finances. Having an expensive (now) house is not the same as having cash to share.

I do think it’s weird and uniquely modern and western-specific to say ‘children are in their own after age 21’. Most families throughout history and throughout the world have worked and worked to help their children out and push them higher up the ladder.

so your parents don’t need to help you out but I think less of them tbh for sitting on a pile of cash and not doing so.

I don’t think you can expect them to sell or equity release their home in order to give you a cash deposit. If they have large cash savings they have no plans for then yes it would be nice but shouldn’t be expected…

All this ‘you pay your own way’. Jeez. Helping your children do better than you did is pretty much a universal phenomenon. I find it almost incomprehensible not to do so.

i don’t think you can expect them to downsize to give you money……I wouldn’t do that

If that is the value of their house, they probably don't have the cash to give/lend you.

My daughter had a large cash gift towards a deposit, and the giver had to sign a legal document stating it was a gift.
They also had to send bank statements to prove that they hadn't borrowed the money on her behalf.

Yabu

You have no right. Your parents don't owe you a house deposit.

You are an adult now. Parents don’t owe you anything

There is no right to parental assistance and/or an inheritance.

No one knows the circumstances of either the op or her parents.
Maybe they have already helped her enormously in terms of support as a child so that as an adult she was best placed to help herself.

I mean you not entitled to anything so getting annoyed is pretty spoilt.

If your parents are rich enough to own an estate of over 1.4 million then you come from a privileged family and almost certainly have benefited from that over people whose family aren't millionaires.

You can't really be posting that you are annoyed that you weren't gifted even more privilege.

It's most likely not even cash, having a house worth £1.4m now doesn't mean they are cash rich, it probably means they bought the house ages ago and it's now worth £1.4m but they live there and it's not fair to expect them to sell and move to a cheaper area to give you money to buy your own house.

I presume OP will be in line to inherit the house or part of it depending on how many siblings she has at some point.

OPs post history is about multiple holidays and getting a dog etc but also getting upset that her parents aren't helping her with a deposit to buy a house.

@Arlott it appears based on the OP other threads her parents have been very generous.

This. I'm 'sitting' on a £900k house - the one we live in - because I spent my 20s and 30s renovating my first two grotty houses myself, before gradually moving up the property ladder.

I didn't have a child until I was in my 40s because I wanted a secure home first. Only one child because I knew I couldn't afford childcare for two.

So yabu. Perhaps if you cut out the holidays and saved properly.... There are two of you working full time, you really don't need a handout. I'm a single mum and I managed it by myself.

They are not "sat on that kind of money", it is actively in use as their home and they cannot access that money unless they sell their home. Is that what you are expecting?

Most people sort out things like house deposits while living frugally, well before they make life choices to have dc, rent a family sized home etc as once you do have dc it is very difficult to save for a deposit.

Your parents are no more responsible for the life choices you have made as an adult than they are for a deposit for your home.

Do you also really think your sister will be happy with you getting a wad of cash from the bank of mum and dad and she doesn't?

It is fine to be disappointed you haven't been able to save for a house deposit, it is normal to be a bit jealous of your sister and parents if they have what you don't, but as a now mature independent adult it is your job to work out how to do it, not expect handouts.

So they are assets rich but are they cash rich? Or do you expect them to sell their property to fund you?

@Ilovelifeverymuch would you say an average 14 yr old has figured this out? I would think a basic teen would know. Mommy and daddy’s house value has gone up but incomes are the same and bills need to be paid. I’m surprised how stupid some people appear to be regarding everyday finances. Surely by the time a person is of reproductive age they would know that house value is not the same as cash in hand? Or that downsizing in the same area doesn’t usually work out.