Renting while parents own over £1.4million in property

[Emmav2020]

Just after peoples thoughts. So myself and OH pay £1000 in rent a month aswell as having 2 kids and paying a fortune in childcare. My parents own the above amount in property. Now while ive spend over £50,400 paying rent i was thinking and kind of got myself annoyed that my parents are sat on that kind of money while im still renting. Even if they gave me a small deposit i would be forever grateful just so we can get ourselves a mortgage and onto the property ladder. my sister was given a hefty chunk my her in-laws to buy a house so shes find.
I mean we have save a bit ourselves but its nowhere near what we need
Would you be annoyed or do i have no right in thinking they could help us just a little.

Well yes it is, but I don't think that extends to selling the home you live in to give money to your children. After all, the transaction costs of buying somewhere else to live are high...

Anyway, downsizing from a £1.4m house to a £1m house to free up £400k will incur stamp duty of around £40k. That's 10% of the cash gone. Add in legals, a survey, new kitchen and bathrooms, carpet and some redecoration and that's another £60k minimum - and probably nearer £100k. So now you're living in a smaller house and/or in a worse area, have to establish new friends in neighbourhood, and a quarter or a third of the cash you freed up has just gone, before you give any away or live on it!!

I was going to say - that's a really affordable rent!

The trouble is housing isn’t a liquid asset, so they may not be in a position to give you a deposit. Is 1.4m the value of the house they live in or do they own multiple properties? Regardless of their relative situations, I’d only ever give my children the same as each other. So if I had £20,000 to spare you’d get £10,000 each.

I want to treat my DC equally. However I can see certain circumstances where I'd possibly help one more than another. If one was disabled or in ill health and unable to work. Or if both were renting but one was in social housing (so had security) but the other was private renting, I'd help the one private renting to buy.

@Emmav2020
How much money “help” do you think they should give you?

Yes I agree, that’s what I meant by ‘equally’ , obviously they’re all different and have different needs.
All four of mine know that I’ve been absolutely fair

Our plan is to downsize to provide our kids with a house deposit when the time comes if we haven’t managed to save enough for them over the next 20 years.
It was so stressful and depressing having to pay rent, attempting to save for a deposit while house prices climb and climb and our parents inherit hundreds of thousands and watch us struggle.
I would never want that for my kids.
I can’t imagine many of the posters on here who are giving you a kicking will be renting themselves. It’s a horrendous position to be in. No security.

Ask them. The worst that can happen is they say no. I completely sympathise and empathise with your situation.

Is this true, op?
Is your gripe really that they’re charging you (far below average) rent?!

The OP is being pretty disingenuous. She's renting directly from her parents for £7-800 per month and her parents have a mortgage to pay on the property she's renting so probably can't afford for her not to pay nothing.

£1.4m buys a normal 4 bed house round here. They’re hardly rolling in it.

As PP says I don't think downsizing to realise cash is as easy as it sounds.

I have a house worth c. £600k. 4 bed detached in the nicer part of a not particularly nice town.

Moving to a detached smaller bungalow in the same area will cost me about the same, plus stamp duty and moving costs. I might just about break even.

Moving somewhere smaller and cheaper would mean moving into a terraced house in a less nice part of town. Would you really do that to help DC?

Is it their own single house that's £1.4m, or is it a portfolio of cheap rentals?

If it's the former, then you're being unreasonable to assume they should downsize to give you money.

If it's the latter, then potentially they could have given you one or provided deposit money.

My situation was more similar to the latter, parents bought me a house when I was 19. All my friends from similar backgrounds were the same, they had their own places before 25.

As anyone sensible knows, you can teach your kids the value of money in many different ways, but letting them throw thousands upon thousands away in pointless rent when you can afford for them not to is foolish. They could even have you repay the deposit over time if they really wanted it to be a direct route.

Of course we are renting... what a bizaare thing to say.

Many of us do not stand to inherit the benefit of million+ pound estates though and sit angry wishing it would come sooner.

Absolutely. My husband and I are determined to break the cycle. Our kids will get any inheritance we receive and if we’re still short, we’ll sell up. Our kids won’t have to go through what we did. Even if it means we end up in a less desirable house or area.

So just to fill in some gaps for posters, the house the OP is renting is owned by her parents, who inherited it from OPs grandma. OPs dad has a buy to let mortgage on it (not sure why if he inherited it) and took out a £100k loan to do the property up. OPs father was charging OP the loan repayment amount as her monthly rent, which 2 years ago was £800.

Why has your father put your rent up £200 OP? His loan repayments would not have increased that much.

Have you missed all the news about interest rates?

…

You're adults. I really, really don't think you have any right to expect your parents to help you out financially like that.

Did you just expect your parents to fund your decisions - did you not expect to work? Is there a reason you are not able to finance your own decisions as an adult? Do your parents pay for the holidays too?

YABU unfortunately. It's their money, not yours. They may not have much liquidity and so expecting them to make major changes to their lives to help you (when I'm not even sure you've asked them to), is a step too far IMHO.

I find it embarrassing when adult children take money from their parents. Make your own way in life. Most of us had to.

You have no right in thinking they should help you out. HTH.

They brought you up but you are an adult, who has children of her own. No one else is responsible for supporting you financially.

My parents have similar amount in property - I've never expected anything from them. Saved up a deposit with my salary and bought my own home

Why is this any of your parents responsibility?
You're adults who chose to have children without buying a property first and being settled in a home to raise them in .
I'd be absolutely livid if any of my dd's thought the way you do!
Your parents have sorted their lives out and hopefully have money to enjoy in their retirement,step up and do the same.

Why didn't you save and buy a house before you had kids?
Sure, it would be nice if they helped you if they can, but they don't have to. Your other thread suggests they're already doing you a favour by letting you rent this place cheap, and tolerating a dog.