Dh not happy but I’m torn over what to do

[Chowmain]

Hi,

my parents (both early 70’s) have had a tricky time over the last few years financially. They own their house outright but had to use all of their savings about 5 months ago to pay for a private medical procedure. Dad had waited 2 years but the situation became unbearable. He had the procedure in October and is now a totally different person.

they’ve got a problem with their roof that isn’t covered by their house insurance. It will cost 6k to fix. They don’t have that money right now.

I have a 0% credit card money transfer offer. I’d like to take this offer and then transfer the money to them. They can afford to pay £500 a month which will clear the balance in a year, with no interest. I’m happy to do this, but dh doesn’t want me to.

I know that lending money isn’t advised, and I know that I’ll be liable for the debt, however I have 100% faith that they will pay and we will also put something in writing. I also think that we need to remember all of the support they have given us over the years- house deposit, free childcare etc

AIBU or is he?

That's a big debt and I think both parties in a marriage need to be on board, for a commitment like that.

If you and your DH kept completely separate finances, as some people do, then yes, you could do what you like with your own money. But if you have joint funds, that doesn't apply.

The problem is what happens when another problem comes up that costs.
If they are good parents/ grandparents then I understand why you want to help though- do you have siblings OP?

Why can’t they borrow the money themselves via credit card or loan?

Are they able to downsize?

They have tried but they can’t get a low rate or 0% , possible due to them both being retired. Dad also had a ccj from a parking ticket dispute. They have no other debts

Your husband is being a knob. Lend them the money.

So they gave you money when you needed it (house deposit) and now he does not want to lend them money when they need it. ok.

Do you have siblings? Is there a will for the house?

I would lend my parents the money in a heartbeat but i wouldn’t feel the same about dhs parents.
so with that in mind, i think you need him on board. It’s a lot of money and if my DH wanted to do it and I disagreed I would expect him to respect my decision

If they hadn’t given you the house deposit they would likely have this in savings !!! I would understand dh if they had not been kind to you

Yes, but that will take time and the roof issue really can’t wait

If they have no savings at all and a CCJ, they've left themselves in a very vulnerable position. I can understand you feeling obliged but there are so many other things to consider.

Have you DPs gone through their accounts with you and do they actually have £500 a month to give you?

Are they in receipt of any benefits they may be entitled to like Attendance Allowance, Pension Credit or reduced Council Tax?

If your DPs miss s couple of payments, suppose their cooker breaks for example, what happens if they don't pay? Do you have the money to pay this off independently from them and your DH?

Equity release?

To be honest I could cover the payments in this scenario. The minimum payment would be 60 but they’ll be paying £500

they definitely have the means to pay the £500.

It’s an option but again, it doesn’t solve the immediate problem

I also think that we need to remember all of the support they have given us over the years- house deposit, free childcare etc

I assume all this, collectively, amounts to more than £6000, so it seems somewhat mean not to help them out. However, make sure you have a witnessed loan agreement if you are keen to ensure you get it back

You don't have savings, they don't have savings. Everyone is in a very precarious place. Getting into debt for essentials.

Yes, get the roof. But then they need to downsize and quickly.

I think it depends on how comfortable you are financially, worst case scenario, what happens if your parents can’t pay this back and you have to?

If it was me I would want DH to explain what he’s really worried about here, is it they might not be able to pay, do you have issues with credit, does he think they will ask for more money etc etc

How can your parents mange to pay you £500 per month? Any other family members that could help out also?

I think your DH is being unreasonable because they aren't HIS parents.

We do have some savings

This!!

I would 100% do this for my parents. My DH would too

They have a monthly income of £2000 made up of state and private pensions. They have no mortgage so they have about £1000 disposable

So they have absolutely zero in emergency funds or savings. At their age and stage in life that is not a good place to be, although I can see that they spent what they did have on health which is never wasteful.

I'd loan it no problem just as you described, but as others have said, you need Dh on board with this.

In the longer term surely (if it would yield anything) they should consider selling the house and moving to a smaller cheaper property that is easy to maintain. Then they would have some capital for emergencies, and enjoying life.

But what happens if their boiler breaks next week? How would they cover that and pay you back.

Honestly, I would want to help them in your position. But they need to look at downsizing and getting the work done while getting it on the market.