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My bank balance is £3.70 any words of encouragement welcome!

148 replies

TooCloseToTheEdge · 11/11/2023 19:10

I’ve just cashed in my pension (not the ‘big one’ which is only around £16k anyway), but my tiny £500 one.

my partner’s just cashed in £12k of premium bonds which is all his savings. This £12k will pay off his credit card which has reached its limit in order he can continue to buy material supplies to keep running his business on the card.

Our sofa has been collapsed in the middle for about 2 years. We can’t afford a new one.

His work vehicle is off the road because we can’t afford the garage bill to fix it.

my old banger just cost me half my wages this month for MOT repairs.
I work min wage zero hours contract every weekend due to SEN childcare commitments.

I have £3.70 in my bank until Tuesday when £39 child benefit comes in. That will pay petrol for the week ahead (I have daily work and school commutes different towns).
we don’t get child tax credit or working tax credit because I’m still paying off an overpayment from about 6 years ago where they fined me because I forgot the deadline for informing them I’d changed jobs. That cost me about £3k.

my husband is self employed, there’s no work coming in, he’s run his business ok for around 15 years, it’s slowly dying.

I had a workplace injury this year which means I’m limited on the type of work I can now do - basically only low paid relatively sedentary jobs whereas before I was in well paid albeit manual jobs.

I managed to buy one child some new clothes this month basics hoodies, trousers, winter coat but it’s all on catalogue style credit, so it’s one step forward two steps back when it comes to repaying.

my car insurance is due for renewal in 3 days. I don’t have any money in my bank to pay the first months instalment.

Our fridge has only condiments and veg. We prioritise milk and bread. I literally had bread and butter for my dinner tonight after I got in from work (well ok, toast, but same thing). The children live on pasta and breakfast cereals because along with milk these are the cheapest value range foodstuffs.

I can’t afford supplies for my older child’s course. I can’t afford to credit the school cafe for my other child’s lunches.

I wear free T-shirts that are given to people who sign up for charity challenges. I do a lot of these challenges because they raise a bit of money that goes direct from sponsor to the charity wallet, but mostly because I can get free T-shirts.
I wear these and pyjama bottoms at home.

My slippers are falling apart. Which bizarrely is one of the top 2 things that makes me feel in poverty.

we can’t afford the rent, but obviously we will somehow pay it because we need to live somewhere - this will involve delaying payment by begging the landlord to wait until my wages at the end of the month whilst hoping they don’t decide after 10 years of faultless rent paying we’re no longer viable tenants, we’ve cancelled things like Netflix, we obviously don’t go out, my last hairdresser appointment was in 2018.

the kids will get a present but it will be paid for using one of the trendy online credit schemes beginning with K.

im applying to a food bank for the first time in my life.

the oven has stopped working. So it’s electric but we have a gas hob at least. New ovens are £300+ the landlord contract states we are responsible for replacing it.

and lastly, I’m bringing home toilet rolls from work because I can’t afford the luxury of a 9 pack of family sized toilet rolls at £4+ a go. Bearing in mind we are bag searched at work, so I will spend time folding the sheets of toilet roll into compressed squares and putting them in my coat pockets rather than actually risking putting a whole toilet roll in my bag which will be searched - how do you explain that?!

if this sounds likes a weird kind of poverty boast that’s not what I intended. It’s to show that in this First World country I live in, two working adults with two children are living like this. Every day I wonder if walking into traffic would solve everything (husband would get my pension pay out then, although £16k isn’t huge).

i’m Happy for mumsnet to verify my identity to show this bank statement is both a) mine and b) accurate.

Something is broken in this country. And tomorrow I’ll drive to work again, for £10 an hour, knowing there’s no money to pay for the petrol home again, hoping the car doesn’t run out.

If anyone has words of encouragement - please pile in !
I’m hopelessly optimistic usually but this is a difficult one this time.

My bank balance is £3.70 any words of encouragement welcome!
OP posts:
FiveCows · 11/11/2023 19:56

MyLadyTheKingsMother · 11/11/2023 19:55

Set up an amazon wishlist op. I'll buy you a ton of loo roll

This

CuteOrangeElephant · 11/11/2023 19:56

How far are you travelling by car OP? Is it a doable on a bike? Is there any work locally that you can do on foot/by bike?

Squirrelsnut · 11/11/2023 19:56

MyLadyTheKingsMother · 11/11/2023 19:55

Set up an amazon wishlist op. I'll buy you a ton of loo roll

Yes, please do. I'm happy to help. If you PM me, I can send kids books for stocking fillers, too - how old are your DC?

FlissMumsnet · 11/11/2023 19:59

We've had a number of reports from people concerned about this thread so, as we usually do in these circs, we're putting our heads round the door with some important reminders.

Right now we can't see any evidence to indicate that the OP isn't above board – if we did, we'd remove the thread straight away. But the truth is that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

So we always ask users to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are – and remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong. Though, we strongly advise against parting with any cash or giving away your personal details, and if you receive a PM which makes you uneasy - report it to us and we’ll take a look.

We've compiled some useful links posted by Mumsnetters into a financial issues webguide, so that people experiencing difficulties can find all the relevant information in one place.

Sorry to hijack your thread briefly there TooCloseToTheEdge – we really hope things look a lot brighter for you soon.

[tea]

Mumsnet's financial guide - homelessness, bills, food and more | Mumsnet

Facing financial issues with the rising cost of living? Find helpful tips, advice, and support from real Mumsnetters on everything from bill costs, food, homelessness, and the support groups available.

https://www.mumsnet.com/articles/financial-issues-guide

DsTTy · 11/11/2023 20:01

My daughter doesn’t have a diagnosis but she gets middle rate care (DLA) and I get carers - so nearly £600 every 4 weeks. All we had as independent evidence was a small statement from her teacher so it’s worth looking into.

Rottenpizzas · 11/11/2023 20:01

If DH business is running at a loss and your income is low you’re probably entitled to some UC. Owing tax credits money won’t affect that. Also, claim DLA. DS got it before any diagnosis purely based on my account and his schools account of his needs. Food bank! Always use the food bank they’ll send you away with a right old mash up of items but with some creativity ( and a block of cheap cheese) you can at least have some meals with a bit of protein and flavour.
bills or prepay? Because if you make a claim to UC and even before that’s approved you can then go to your local welfare assistance and get vouchers for energy and sometimes a cash out voucher for £100 ‘just because’ which you can use on shopping And treat the kids to a £10 swim or a matinee just to make you feel better about life! Don’t despair though, so many of us have been there. If DH is self employed and the business currently runs at a loss , you put that in the monthly UC declaration and you then will get a payment based on your income which from what you’ve said is definitely going to mean you receive something. It’ll get better, you need to get stuck in to the admin! Good luck.

TwilightSkies · 11/11/2023 20:02

Get a benefit check done to see if you could be entitled to UC. And get your Tax Credit repayment as low as possible.

See if there is a Community Fridge in your area. Food that’s left over from local supermarkets, past it’s sell-by date but still within its use-by date. Free, no voucher needed and you can use it as many times as you need.

Also contact Cab and see if they know of any grants that you could avail of.

BecauseTheWorld · 11/11/2023 20:05

What does your DH do? You say he has contracts to finish, so he should do that 3 days a week and find paid employment 3 days a week. What is the legal status of the business, e’g sole trader or limited? If it’s limited he may be better off letting someone wind it up and just going into employment. What skills does he have?

Claim DLA for the SEN child.

What do you do now? What did you do before? How does the SEN child impact employment?

stayingaliveisawayoflife · 11/11/2023 20:10

There is a website called UserTesting where you do survey type things and they pay $10 a go. They have been looking for parents and anyone involved in building recently. I haven't had as many but I was earning £20 average each week. If you both join you have more chance of getting onto surveys.

Caterina99 · 11/11/2023 20:13

What’s your DH business? Sounds like it’s not viable anymore unfortunately and he needs to stop. Can he get a job, even part time in evenings just to bring in some cash? or can he do more childcare and you work more hours?

Others will know more about what you are entitled to, but definitely look into UC and other benefits.

I hope this is just a blip for you and your family OP

theduchessofspork · 11/11/2023 20:14

I am so sorry to hear this OP. It is appalling.

As well as assessing a food bank you might have a community larder for longer term help. This will make a huge difference.

Citizens Advice or stepchange can negotiate the back payments for you - I’d have thought you can get them cancelled now given you’ve paid so much. I also think it’s worth taking to the CAB about your husbands contracts - I am not an expert but for example if he declares bankruptcy I don’t think anyone can sue him. They can help. Turn To Us is a charity that can help see if there are any grants you can access.

There should be a charity near you that can help with kids clothes - little village does little ones, for older kids they are often very local eg kids love clothes in Scotland.

There is probably one for adults too, but they are often very local eg the Cowshed in Berkshire.

Have a Google for these or ask the Salvation Army who will know.

If you can say roughly where you are I think people would be happy to help look.

For furniture the Salvation Army and places for people are amongst the organisations that provide furniture for families. Have a Google locally.

For kids Christmas presents the Salvation Army can help - they do a Christmas present appeal.

When your husband gets to the stage of looking for a job suited for success or provide interview clothes for men and women. Suited and booted is similar for men only. (If you ever need the same smart works is women only.)

I have a few unworn pyjamas and things of different sizes, so if that might be helpful please PM your size and address.

I am so sorry again - it is awful right now. Please do reach out for all the help you can get, no one should be in your position.

UnderTheSkyline · 11/11/2023 20:17

People should always be aware when PM’ing the OP on these types of threads. Especially around this time of year

@MinnieL Yet you’re so keen to give certain posters the benefit of the doubt elsewhere on this forum. Lol

theduchessofspork · 11/11/2023 20:17

The Olio food app can be really good - businesses with left over food at the end of the day. Too Good to Go is similar.

Anneta · 11/11/2023 20:22

I am so sad & sorry to read your post about the difficulties you are facing. Just some ideas which may help…

Download the Olio app - You can request and collect food that is still perfectly good but would be heading for landfill. In my area there’s always loads of bread, wraps, rolls, pastries, various fruits, salads and vegetables. I collect for myself, my family and my neighbour most days, vastly reducing our monthly food bills. If you have time, you can become a volunteer to collect the food from the supermarkets, keep a percentage for yourself and list the remainder for others to request from you.

Look on Facebook & Olio for free items. Many people give away sofas, furniture, clothing, shoes, toiletries etc You can also post for wanted items on Olio. There are always several people giving away a free sofa, if you have access to a van to collect it.

Is there a Community Cupboard in your area? These are similar to Olio in that you can collect free foodstuffs weekly, which are often tinned goods, pasta, rice, breakfast cereals, tea, coffee, fruit & vegetables. Our local one charges £2 per week for three items from the fridge, five packs of dried goods or tins and as much bread, vegetables and fruit as you need, when available.

As things are so bad for you at the moment, could you try posting on the Go Fund Me site or other Social Media? Recently a lady & her family in America were threatened with eviction because her husband had lost his job, so she posted on her Instagram account and within 2 days she had raised several thousands of pounds by people over the world donating small sums of money.

Do you have close family who could help you by giving you some cash? Do not be too shy to ask your parents because hopefully most would help their kids out if they are in difficulty.

Speak to your children’s school / college to see if there’s any support that can be offered with supplies for your child’s course. When I used to teach ( years ago) there were charitable trusts that offered sums for educational purposes.

Do you have anything to sell? You could register on EBay, Vinted and Facebook marketplace to “recycle” some cash.

Can Citizens Advice help you with claiming for your child with Special Needs? You may be entitled to Disability Living Allowance for your child, which would then allow you to claim Carers Allowance.

I hope that life improves for you. Please see your GP if you are having suicidal thoughts. There are people who care about you, especially your family.

BippityBopper · 11/11/2023 20:26

Perhaps he can start looking for jobs before the contracts end. It can be a long process job hunting to interviewing to getting the job and then actually starting.

TBOM · 11/11/2023 20:27

titchy · 11/11/2023 19:39

No he won't. The business is effectively bankrupt. There are no business assets or personal assets. Any customers out of pocket will simply join a list of creditors the business owes.

Exactly this. That’s a really bad use of the savings.

TooCloseToTheEdge · 11/11/2023 20:28

I can’t believe people are reporting my thread ! MN have put a post up about it. I am utterly genuine. I can swear on my own life. Those who reported me you can PM me for my name if you want to, which will link to my Facebook or similar, as proof this is a genuine thread. There really are people living like this right now in the UK.

I haven’t asked for anything but practical advice - why report me?

OP posts:
MinnieL · 11/11/2023 20:31

UnderTheSkyline · 11/11/2023 20:17

People should always be aware when PM’ing the OP on these types of threads. Especially around this time of year

@MinnieL Yet you’re so keen to give certain posters the benefit of the doubt elsewhere on this forum. Lol

If I’ve ever given anyone the benefit of the doubt, I can assure you that no one would have jumped on the thread offering to give the OP belongings or possibly money.

But seeing as you recognise my username and know so much, do you care to expand on what posters I’ve given the benefit of the doubt? I’m racking my brain here but seeing as MN is a huge site and I’m practically all over the majority of the boards, I doubt I’ll ever know

TooCloseToTheEdge · 11/11/2023 20:32

@Raspberrymoon49 it’s awful and incredible isn’t it that we are living like this in the UK right now . Just utterly unbelievable. I hope you pull through ok. I’m with you too x

OP posts:
WrongSwanson · 11/11/2023 20:32

It's not about you personally, it's the fact there is always a flurry of these posts at this time of year. People do need to be reminded to be cautious. Unfortunately there have been posters in the past who have not been genuine

I am sure you have done the decent thing and turned down any PMs offering help and are following up the links to charities etc instead and noting the practical advice and I wish you well.

Have a look at turn2us. My charity is on there and we give out a lot of grants to people struggling financially, whether to buy a new appliance or just some shopping etc

WrongSwanson · 11/11/2023 20:32

It's not about you personally, it's the fact there is always a flurry of these posts at this time of year. People do need to be reminded to be cautious. Unfortunately there have been posters in the past who have not been genuine

I am sure you have done the decent thing and turned down any PMs offering help and are following up the links to charities etc instead and noting the practical advice and I wish you well.

Have a look at turn2us. My charity is on there and we give out a lot of grants to people struggling financially, whether to buy a new appliance or just some shopping etc

WrongSwanson · 11/11/2023 20:35

And do speak to school too, most have pots they can dip into or a list of organisations (like mine) that they can refer to , whether it's for money for educational stuff or for other needs.

But I would recommend getting some practical advice too , eg from Citizens advice/stepchange

ssd · 11/11/2023 20:37

Ive just read you've been on mn forever, ive probably "spoke" to you before. Just to say again, im sorry you're in this position. Its just utter shit.

TooCloseToTheEdge · 11/11/2023 20:42

@WrongSwanson yes I have received offers of cash and have kindly declined as much as that would help it is practical advice that will dig a way out for me and my family and that advice is what I am seeing here which is just fantastic I’ve learnt loads already

My bank balance is £3.70 any words of encouragement welcome!
OP posts:
ssd · 11/11/2023 20:43

I remember the days of i think it was sophable organising a xmas gifting thingy. It was all anonymous. My kids got a fabulous gift one morning before xmas, sweeties etc and gift vouchers for next, from tiredemma, as id written how much id love to treat my kids to a new top for xmas.
It was just brilliant. I wish the world still had that kindness where we could do that for each other without getting scammed or ripped off or it appearing in the daily mail.
Simpler times where we looked out for each other. Id send you stuff too op. We all need help sometimes.