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My bank balance is £3.70 any words of encouragement welcome!

148 replies

TooCloseToTheEdge · 11/11/2023 19:10

I’ve just cashed in my pension (not the ‘big one’ which is only around £16k anyway), but my tiny £500 one.

my partner’s just cashed in £12k of premium bonds which is all his savings. This £12k will pay off his credit card which has reached its limit in order he can continue to buy material supplies to keep running his business on the card.

Our sofa has been collapsed in the middle for about 2 years. We can’t afford a new one.

His work vehicle is off the road because we can’t afford the garage bill to fix it.

my old banger just cost me half my wages this month for MOT repairs.
I work min wage zero hours contract every weekend due to SEN childcare commitments.

I have £3.70 in my bank until Tuesday when £39 child benefit comes in. That will pay petrol for the week ahead (I have daily work and school commutes different towns).
we don’t get child tax credit or working tax credit because I’m still paying off an overpayment from about 6 years ago where they fined me because I forgot the deadline for informing them I’d changed jobs. That cost me about £3k.

my husband is self employed, there’s no work coming in, he’s run his business ok for around 15 years, it’s slowly dying.

I had a workplace injury this year which means I’m limited on the type of work I can now do - basically only low paid relatively sedentary jobs whereas before I was in well paid albeit manual jobs.

I managed to buy one child some new clothes this month basics hoodies, trousers, winter coat but it’s all on catalogue style credit, so it’s one step forward two steps back when it comes to repaying.

my car insurance is due for renewal in 3 days. I don’t have any money in my bank to pay the first months instalment.

Our fridge has only condiments and veg. We prioritise milk and bread. I literally had bread and butter for my dinner tonight after I got in from work (well ok, toast, but same thing). The children live on pasta and breakfast cereals because along with milk these are the cheapest value range foodstuffs.

I can’t afford supplies for my older child’s course. I can’t afford to credit the school cafe for my other child’s lunches.

I wear free T-shirts that are given to people who sign up for charity challenges. I do a lot of these challenges because they raise a bit of money that goes direct from sponsor to the charity wallet, but mostly because I can get free T-shirts.
I wear these and pyjama bottoms at home.

My slippers are falling apart. Which bizarrely is one of the top 2 things that makes me feel in poverty.

we can’t afford the rent, but obviously we will somehow pay it because we need to live somewhere - this will involve delaying payment by begging the landlord to wait until my wages at the end of the month whilst hoping they don’t decide after 10 years of faultless rent paying we’re no longer viable tenants, we’ve cancelled things like Netflix, we obviously don’t go out, my last hairdresser appointment was in 2018.

the kids will get a present but it will be paid for using one of the trendy online credit schemes beginning with K.

im applying to a food bank for the first time in my life.

the oven has stopped working. So it’s electric but we have a gas hob at least. New ovens are £300+ the landlord contract states we are responsible for replacing it.

and lastly, I’m bringing home toilet rolls from work because I can’t afford the luxury of a 9 pack of family sized toilet rolls at £4+ a go. Bearing in mind we are bag searched at work, so I will spend time folding the sheets of toilet roll into compressed squares and putting them in my coat pockets rather than actually risking putting a whole toilet roll in my bag which will be searched - how do you explain that?!

if this sounds likes a weird kind of poverty boast that’s not what I intended. It’s to show that in this First World country I live in, two working adults with two children are living like this. Every day I wonder if walking into traffic would solve everything (husband would get my pension pay out then, although £16k isn’t huge).

i’m Happy for mumsnet to verify my identity to show this bank statement is both a) mine and b) accurate.

Something is broken in this country. And tomorrow I’ll drive to work again, for £10 an hour, knowing there’s no money to pay for the petrol home again, hoping the car doesn’t run out.

If anyone has words of encouragement - please pile in !
I’m hopelessly optimistic usually but this is a difficult one this time.

My bank balance is £3.70 any words of encouragement welcome!
OP posts:
SecretVictoria · 11/11/2023 19:42

PTSDBarbiegirl · 11/11/2023 19:38

Take this to a union rep. Research their history on securing workplace pay outs and join best one. You should not feel you have to physically push yourself in that way. Health, Safety & Wellbeing at work law is very thorough. It's not too late to make sure you have this injury reported to the H&S dept and occupational therapy will give you some physio or treatment, also counselling if you self refer. It might help.

Most unions will not represent you unless you are already a member. To prevent people joining only when they urgently need help. HSE should get involved if the workplace was negligent though.

StiffyByngsDogBartholomew · 11/11/2023 19:42

If your dh's business is failing then he needs to get a job. You could then free up some money selling his van. If nothing else could he not do the SEN childcare so you could get more hours in ? I am sure he doesn't want to admit defeat but pride doesn't replace broken ovens. Does your work have access to any charity organisations that could help you in the short term ? Eg my employer has a charitable trust that helps members in dire straits.

it Sounds very relentless Op, I hope better times are round the corner.

SalmonWellington · 11/11/2023 19:42

First of all - you're right. It's obscene and I can only hope the Tories lose and lose badly.

Second - almost nothing in SEN support hinges on diagnosis. DLA and EHCP are both based on needs not diagnosis. DLA is also backdated. Apply.

Canyoudigityesyoucan · 11/11/2023 19:43

titchy · 11/11/2023 19:28

Your dh has just spunked £12k on stuff for a business which is failing. Rather than admit it's failed and get a job. That's your problem right there, and solution.

I came to say this. Your husband cannot continue to plough precious funds into a failing business. I’d be more than just resenting him if I was having to steal loo roll for my family. He needs to face up to the failing business and support his family.

IncompleteSenten · 11/11/2023 19:44

What's the status of his business? Limited company? Or is he just operating as a self employed individual?

He needs advice on how to close down. Has he been paid any money on these contracts yet?

MinnieL · 11/11/2023 19:44

TooCloseToTheEdge · 11/11/2023 19:39

@MinnieL im not asking for anything other than practical advice. Please note I’m happy for MN to verify my identity too. I have been on MN a long time under another account.

Just a reminder to other MNetters that’s all OP. Especially for the posters who like to come on these types of threads offering to PayPal an amout to the OP in order to help out a bit!

Raspberrymoon49 · 11/11/2023 19:45

Am doing surveys online and have been eBaying all day trying to sell on ‘buy it now’

PinkyU · 11/11/2023 19:45

@TooCloseToTheEdge I know you’re doing bedtime just now but if you see this I’m just wondering what part of the country you’re in? There are some schemes that exist in the devolved governments.

Skintymcskint · 11/11/2023 19:46

The olio app is great, but the app 2good2go is hit or miss, some people get a monthly shop for 13 people for 3 quid, some people get a bag of rotten carrots for a fiver.
It's about food waste not feeding broke people, so unless you have enough money to comfortably risk losing a fiver, then I wouldn't, I'd rather use the fiver for a bag of frozen casserole mix, frozen chicken, stock cubes and bread and butter so I know I've 2 solid meals of stew.

IncompleteSenten · 11/11/2023 19:46

Canyoudigityesyoucan · 11/11/2023 19:43

I came to say this. Your husband cannot continue to plough precious funds into a failing business. I’d be more than just resenting him if I was having to steal loo roll for my family. He needs to face up to the failing business and support his family.

I agree with this. It's better to break the contracts and deal with that over time than put 12k into a failed business to not let others down when your own family can't meet their basic needs.

People can sue but they can't be given what doesn't exist and if op and husband have no money then an iva or bankruptcy may be the best option.

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 11/11/2023 19:47

BethDuttonsTwin · 11/11/2023 19:20

OP, I don't have much myself, but I do have spare pairs of slippers because my Mum buys me a pair every year for Christmas and I never wear them because I only like a certain type. What size are you? Send me a PM if you prefer. Also toys. I have boxes of them waiting to go on eBay. What are your kids into? They're mostly plushies, some Disney, all good condition,

As for the rest of it. I don't know what to say to help. This country is in a terrifying state. My own parents tell me with full seriousness that they're glad they're old because they don't want to have to face what's coming :(

Send me your shoe size and address if you feel that you can. They'll just go to the charity shop otherwise or even just outside. Where I live it's customary to put stuff we don't want outside for passers by to take, far rather send them to someone who really needs them.

Its comments like this that bring tears to my eyes.

OP I have been in similar times to you. Currently I'm not quite, purely due to student loans saving me and my DC, partly why I went to uni to begin with.

As above, if you're comfortable sharing clothes size or DC clothes size, age or toys they might like, I would also be happy to have a look through what I have (my DC is aged 4), I'd be equally happy as this OP to see if I have anything that might help ease things a bit for you.

StiffyByngsDogBartholomew · 11/11/2023 19:47

Skintymcskint · 11/11/2023 19:46

The olio app is great, but the app 2good2go is hit or miss, some people get a monthly shop for 13 people for 3 quid, some people get a bag of rotten carrots for a fiver.
It's about food waste not feeding broke people, so unless you have enough money to comfortably risk losing a fiver, then I wouldn't, I'd rather use the fiver for a bag of frozen casserole mix, frozen chicken, stock cubes and bread and butter so I know I've 2 solid meals of stew.

Deffo. At least with olio you know the trip is worth it as you have chosen what you want.

Mylovelygreendress · 11/11/2023 19:47

Are you sure you aren’t eligible for UC ?

WrongSwanson · 11/11/2023 19:48

Check for loyalty points (Tesco /boots /nectar)

Speak to school, I am trustee of a local charity and we often get referrals for grants from local schools or healthcare workers

PTSDBarbiegirl · 11/11/2023 19:49

SecretVictoria · 11/11/2023 19:42

Most unions will not represent you unless you are already a member. To prevent people joining only when they urgently need help. HSE should get involved if the workplace was negligent though.

That's not the case for all unions, best to enquire with unions who are active in your line of work.

Hexandthecity · 11/11/2023 19:49

Shit OP, this was a horrible read. I know you're only asking for advice, but I would like to help practically as well. Apart from slippers (which I think someone else is sending you), what other thing would make the most difference? Please let us help you, if only a little bit!

Re advice: download the Shoppix app (it will take a while to be able to claim a payout, but it's essentially money for nothing. Use Topcashback for online purchases. Charity shops and Vinted for clothes and shoes. Speak to your children's school as they will most definitely provide free meals for them if needed. Keep an eye on Freecycle for furniture and Olio for food/ clothes/ household items. Sell old clothes/ toys/ whatever on FB Marketplace and Vinted. Check that you're getting the right amount of CB, as £39 doesn't seem right (unless it's paid weekly?). If you use any childcare, make sure you pay for it using the Tax Free Childcare scheme.

Nazzywish · 11/11/2023 19:49

OP really sad to read this post.
I knownit sounds basic but OP don't be too proud to seek out and get the help out there that's rightfully yours.

Food bank is a good start and speak to those that run it as often they're well linked to other local charities that can offer assistance re clothing for you and kids. If they can't help usually they put a post on Facebook or something for you and so many good things come forward for you as people really do prefer giving things rather than donating money sometimes.

Re school speak to the parent support person or anyone in school admin and ask them who parent support it. They have a fund usually set aside for families going through hardship and can cover lunches from it without making you jump through hoops just be honest and bring it up its for your kids so don't hold back here. They can also help from fund/ bursarybetc for school supplies.

Re debt. You need to do a income/ outcome sheet and understand what disposable income you've got left per month/ week.from here you put a plan together re minimum u can afford to pay even if its £1 and call each creditor and explain and offer them the amount. The citizens advice have debt caseworkers ( or used to) and they used to do this for people so make an appointment if you can or call up a debt charity that can put iva?s in place for you. They are also clued up about benefits and can do a benefit calculation for you to check if ur on the right ones getting all you should be. Well at least we used to when working for c.a.b around 10 years or so ago!

I've no solutions re petrol and car insurance but really hope you find a way. Good luck op.

Raspberrymoon49 · 11/11/2023 19:50

Agree with PP about 2good2go, can be very hit and miss and probably not worth gambling the last bit of money

WrongSwanson · 11/11/2023 19:51

I'd also speak to stepchange and get on top of the catalogue debt

Nazzywish · 11/11/2023 19:52

Also OP not sure if you'd be comfortable but ask for local watsapp groups where surplus food sometimes gets posted. I.e. from allotments/ community fridges/ surplus bakery goods etc once you start asking and getting into one or two of these groups you'll find so many more so just reach out to local groups.

EwwSprouts · 11/11/2023 19:53

Sorry you are struggling. Costs are shooting up everywhere.
Find your nearest credit union. Borrowing rates there will be so much lower than a credit card.
Use the food bank. Many working families are having to do so.

MyLadyTheKingsMother · 11/11/2023 19:55

Set up an amazon wishlist op. I'll buy you a ton of loo roll

ChristmasCrumpet · 11/11/2023 19:55

@TooCloseToTheEdge

I hope you don't take this as harsh. I think you've buried your head somewhat, and this is what you need to sort out:

(I am a qualified accountant and work for a charity that both has a food bank and advises on benefits, and supports low income families)

  1. I do not understand how you're not receiving any tax credit? They do not take the full amount of a repayment off you and leave you with nothing. So you need to investigate why exactly you're getting absolutely nothing. It won't be solely because of a repayment.

  2. You may be better closing the tax credit claim entirely, setting up a repayment plan for that and applying for UC.

  3. If you are entitled to TC/UC, you should be getting free school meals. Another reason you need to get this sorted asap.

  4. Why do you not receive DLA or carers allowance with a SEN child?

  5. You can not afford to be shopping in catalogues right now. Charity shops and FB for sale are your friend. I use them all the time, it's the smart way to clothe children.

  6. What can you sell for quick cash on FB? Bundle of kids clothes that no longer fit? Books? Shoes? A kitchen appliance you rarely use? Anything.

  7. Contact your local church who will know lots of places you can access free food. Search FB for your nearest community fridge or social supermarket.

  8. If you are in East Anglia, then PM me and I will sort you out with food, and children's clothing through my work, but will have to be Monday when I am next on site.

suntannedsnowballs · 11/11/2023 19:55

What's your area?

If you're in NI then let me know. I have clothes/children's stuff/toys that could use a good home, and food in my freezer too.