My bank balance is £3.70 any words of encouragement welcome!

[TooCloseToTheEdge]

I’ve just cashed in my pension (not the ‘big one’ which is only around £16k anyway), but my tiny £500 one.

my partner’s just cashed in £12k of premium bonds which is all his savings. This £12k will pay off his credit card which has reached its limit in order he can continue to buy material supplies to keep running his business on the card.

Our sofa has been collapsed in the middle for about 2 years. We can’t afford a new one.

His work vehicle is off the road because we can’t afford the garage bill to fix it.

my old banger just cost me half my wages this month for MOT repairs.
I work min wage zero hours contract every weekend due to SEN childcare commitments.

I have £3.70 in my bank until Tuesday when £39 child benefit comes in. That will pay petrol for the week ahead (I have daily work and school commutes different towns).
we don’t get child tax credit or working tax credit because I’m still paying off an overpayment from about 6 years ago where they fined me because I forgot the deadline for informing them I’d changed jobs. That cost me about £3k.

my husband is self employed, there’s no work coming in, he’s run his business ok for around 15 years, it’s slowly dying.

I had a workplace injury this year which means I’m limited on the type of work I can now do - basically only low paid relatively sedentary jobs whereas before I was in well paid albeit manual jobs.

I managed to buy one child some new clothes this month basics hoodies, trousers, winter coat but it’s all on catalogue style credit, so it’s one step forward two steps back when it comes to repaying.

my car insurance is due for renewal in 3 days. I don’t have any money in my bank to pay the first months instalment.

Our fridge has only condiments and veg. We prioritise milk and bread. I literally had bread and butter for my dinner tonight after I got in from work (well ok, toast, but same thing). The children live on pasta and breakfast cereals because along with milk these are the cheapest value range foodstuffs.

I can’t afford supplies for my older child’s course. I can’t afford to credit the school cafe for my other child’s lunches.

I wear free T-shirts that are given to people who sign up for charity challenges. I do a lot of these challenges because they raise a bit of money that goes direct from sponsor to the charity wallet, but mostly because I can get free T-shirts.
I wear these and pyjama bottoms at home.

My slippers are falling apart. Which bizarrely is one of the top 2 things that makes me feel in poverty.

we can’t afford the rent, but obviously we will somehow pay it because we need to live somewhere - this will involve delaying payment by begging the landlord to wait until my wages at the end of the month whilst hoping they don’t decide after 10 years of faultless rent paying we’re no longer viable tenants, we’ve cancelled things like Netflix, we obviously don’t go out, my last hairdresser appointment was in 2018.

the kids will get a present but it will be paid for using one of the trendy online credit schemes beginning with K.

im applying to a food bank for the first time in my life.

the oven has stopped working. So it’s electric but we have a gas hob at least. New ovens are £300+ the landlord contract states we are responsible for replacing it.

and lastly, I’m bringing home toilet rolls from work because I can’t afford the luxury of a 9 pack of family sized toilet rolls at £4+ a go. Bearing in mind we are bag searched at work, so I will spend time folding the sheets of toilet roll into compressed squares and putting them in my coat pockets rather than actually risking putting a whole toilet roll in my bag which will be searched - how do you explain that?!

if this sounds likes a weird kind of poverty boast that’s not what I intended. It’s to show that in this First World country I live in, two working adults with two children are living like this. Every day I wonder if walking into traffic would solve everything (husband would get my pension pay out then, although £16k isn’t huge).

i’m Happy for mumsnet to verify my identity to show this bank statement is both a) mine and b) accurate.

Something is broken in this country. And tomorrow I’ll drive to work again, for £10 an hour, knowing there’s no money to pay for the petrol home again, hoping the car doesn’t run out.

If anyone has words of encouragement - please pile in !
I’m hopelessly optimistic usually but this is a difficult one this time.

If you've been here for a while, as you say, then you'll know that this time of year we get a lot of people trying their luck and using a sob story to get posters to send them money.

It's hardly surprising that people have reported your post.

Just to say the threshold for free school meals on UC is very low so OP is likely not going to be entitled unfortunately.

Thanks @ssd yes posts being extracted and ending up in the daily mail is one of the worst things about MN especially as I’ve also posted several years ago about my DV years with the kids when they were babies (not with my current husband I must quickly add).

Thankyou @everyone for all the kind offers slippers toilet rolls etc but I am only asking for practical advice and that has been forthcoming in shedloads which is just great.

Apparently if you write something like ‘I do not give permission for any journalist or the Daily Mail to copy or use my posts’ it prevents them using what you write but maybe that’s a nonsense who knows.

Anyway I’m going off to load the Olio app, find out about Vinted and repaying tax credits overpayments in instalments. Thankyou to everyone for all the advice I can’t thank all individually there’s too many.

im at work tomorrow so I need to get some sleep time now but will read again tomorrow morning. Honestly , human nature can blow you away sometimes. Thankyou x

It's unfortunate that your DH paid the whole amount off his credit card, he should have kept back at least 2k and that would really have got you out of trouble. I know he needs to have money on his card to pay for materials but did he need to pay the whole 12k? Can you use his credit card for food and bills? Just until you get back on your feet.

Do you have 2 cars ? Can you sell one ? Can you work things around your DH re school runs etc so that he can do the main driving. I'm in Ireland so unfamiliar with 'procedures and costs' but would the bus be cheaper? I know here in Ireland due to diesel costs and traffic people take the bus to cut down on both. It would also be handy not having to pay tax, insurance, mot etc.

Re kids school lunches, can they take sandwiches? Or something from home, I use to bulk buy food and drinks for school lunches.

What's the minimum wage there in England? 10.00 seems very low, again not in England but this seems rather low, are you sure you're in the right payment ? Maybe have a chat with your employers.

About your injury, even though you feel you were at fault, I'd still look into this, that employer should have had your health and safety a priority and kept you safe.

It's hard, I hope you get sorted soon.

Please though, if you are in the local area of any of us mentioning our charities (there are a few of us who have given you our general locations) then please please please contact us.

My work would be able to give you a great deal of food, children's clothes, probably a grant of several hundred pounds via a council fund....and this will be similar across England (not sure about the rest of the UK) so it's really not the case that we might be able to get you a bit of pasta and some beans, the help available is significant, if you just ask x

Agreed. My charity dishes out info to referrers (schools, doctors etc) and is on turn2us and local social media but we actually can't give away as much as we would like , but we know the need is out there. Op, or anyone struggling, there are places that can really help. Whether it's with educational resources (laptops etc or equipment), appliances or furniture, grants towards childcare costs... Don't be too proud to ask.

(I say this knowing I was skipping meals for a while after leaving DV husband and can't believe now that I didn't think to reach out for help)

Talk to your children's school - they will have something they can offer such as uniform items and food bank referral/vouchers.
Look at the Big Difference Scheme for your water bills - you need to have less than 20,000 income per year I think.
Look on facebook for groups that can support people in need - you contact the moderators and then they post asking for things people need (slippers!).
Salvation Army etc can help with christmas presents for children.
Appreciate this is all short term help and you could do with some support to help get you and your partner on a more sustainable income in the longer term.
Definitely talk to Citizens Advice or Stepchange etc, to help you work out what your priorities are financially (rent?) and what other help you can access.

It's grim at the moment. I've never felt so poor. I just got paid and spent #150 on a monthly shop and hardly touched the sides. Bought a bottle of coke for my children as a treat and felt like I'd really pushed the boat out! Before payday I had a similar amount to you in the bank for the last week. I keep having no-spend weeks but we have good storecupboard and freezer supplies so can mostly make do, but if you have bare cupboards ...

@Wendysfriend What's the minimum wage there in England? 10.00 seems very low, again not in England but this seems rather low, are you sure you're in the right payment ? Maybe have a chat with your employers.

It's £10.42. And of course there will be deductions, definitely Ni and pension even if below tax threshold..

If you let us know which County you are in, we might know some local charities that can help you.

If there are things you need, it’s worth asking on Facebook groups if anyone has anything suitable. Please keep some of the £12k back to top up the food cupboards and I would strongly suggest you look at the make £10 a day thread on money matters board and also get on money saving expert. Look at bank switching if possible and keep an eye out for freebies and offers.

It sounds like your DH needs to start looking at getting a second job for now and a waged job as soon as he can. There are Christmas jobs available at the moment and it might be worth seeing if either one of you can get a few extra hours temporarily

Husband's business is going badly. He probably needs to try to get out the contracts he has or do them in spare time at weekends and get a full time day job earning a full time wage just to keep the family goind

Thank you @TooCloseToTheEdge somehow it’s always worse to be in this position in the winter, can’t even think about Christmas, just
taking it a day at a time. Sending strength to everyone struggling x

Aw that's a pity it's so low. I thought ours was low at 11.30 but it increases Jan 1st to 12.70 euro. Still not great. I wonder how long you're in your job OP ? Would you be due a pay rise ? Might be worth checking out.

Also I only just noticed, you said your landlord is not responsible for replacing your cooker !!! That's shocking !!! I think landlords here have to replace white goods if they can't be repaired, sorry, I know I'm a different country but so many things are similar in Ireland and the UK that I am truly shocked you have to replace this yourself. What happens if you left that property? Does he keep it ?

And sorry another thing, I came across a thread on here last night about an app people were using, 'too good to go', the food that was posted up was fantastic, it actually made me see if we had it here in Ireland and sure enough we do, it's not as good as England but this might be something to look into, it seemed a good amount of food for not a lot of money.

Maybe join the DLA threads to get advice about applying for your child?

@Twillow I think OP said she was zero hours so unless she earns above certain amount, there’ll be no pension deduction.

Must admit, I thought min wage here was above £11.

I also agree with pp, if your husbands business goes into insolvency then he can’t be sued. You can’t give what you haven’t got. He really needs to use some
of his money to pay rent and buy food.

Amen to this.

And I know this is going to come across wrong, but I hope people get the sentiment behind my inability to word things well, but prior to my charity role, there is no way I would ever have approached a food bank or a charity.

My pride would have stopped me. My ignorance and lack of education about this kind of help, made me think it would be a grubby place, and I'd be in a line of twenty "Karen from EastEnders" characters all chain smoking in a queue, jostling for their weekly four packs of pasta, kidney beans and loaf of bread that I can't even make a meal from and would have felt depressed being handed.

Last week, we provided 36 people with the equivalent of a weekly shop. We are a social supermarket, so we can provide a very similar experience to something like Tesco Express, only you don't pay. People leave with fresh pineapple, meat, passata, bagels, crisps, cheese, desserts...all the things you would buy normally. Three of these people worked for the emergency services, two were teachers, one veteran, one had just lost her husband and was in crisis. People no different to you or I.

If I ever need help, I know now that I can walk to this place, and not feel any embarrassment at all. With the COL crisis, anyone and everyone is reaching out for help. BUT I only know this because I've worked there now. Had I not, I would still have had those outdated views....but do you know what, so does nearly everyone who comes to us. And they leave saying how they can't believe they didn't come here before, they can't believe how much stuff they have, and how lovely our place is. And they genuinely mean it.

I know my post probably reads terribly. But please, the stigma/embarassment around visiting charities like mine is so wrong, and I want people to realise, it's seriously not what you're imagining x

Your husband needs to swallow his pride and look for full time employed work. Don’t take all this on yourself OP.

@UnderTheSkyline not coming back to the thread to provide more context no? Ah well, thank you for reminding me to name change

This.

We got into a lot of debt about 20 years ago due to keeping going with a failing business and trying to do this with credit cards, which ended up being the wrong thing to do.

Even on NMW, your DH will bring in over £20k pa if he works full time, which is probably the best solution.

You also need to get onto UC and only agree to pay back any overpayments at a rate you can afford. As a low paid working family that rents, you should be entitled to quite a reasonable top up, even before the DLA that your DC probably also qualifies for. So it absolutely shouldn't be the case that you don't receive anything due to a £3k overpayment 6 years ago.

You also need to stop paying all debts and deal with the consequences. Your priorities are housing, food, bills, keeping your vehicles running so you can work and take DC to school, clothes for DC and essential clothes/shoes for you/DH, and a small emergency fund so you can replace broken furniture using charity shops or FB marketplace etc. Only after all essentials are covered should you repay any debts and if you don't have any surplus, then you could probably apply for a debt relief order.

Have a look at Moneysaving Expert, put together a sustainable budget that covers all your annual essential costs and then seek advice about getting out of debt.

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/debt-help-plan/

Good luck

Forgot to say, open another bank account so you can add the overdraft to the debts to be dealt with. Overdrafts are very expensive and can be repayable on demand so you could find that your bank cancels your overdraft the day your wages go in so all your money is gone, if they notice you're struggling financially.

App based banks like Starling don't credit check you if you don't apply for an overdraft, so it doesn't matter if you're in debt.

No, the daily mail thing is a myth. It doesn't stop them. Or anyone else from sharing your posts.

@MinnieL

You have berated others for not giving people the benefit of the doubt a number of times that I’ve seen. At least a couple of those threads were deleted as mumsnet obviously didn’t believe them, neither did a lot of posters, but you insisted they should be given the benefit of the doubt. I guess it depends on the topic area for you as to whether you want to believe the person or not. 🙄

Also the disclaimer isn't personal. You've been here years so you know there have been many scammers conning people. It happens every year on the run up to Christmas. There's no way to tell who's genuine and who's not so all threads reported get looked in to and the warning posted.

The more often posters offer things on threads, the more well known mn becomes as a place someone can claim to be unable to feed their kids and subsequently rake it in.

Sadly it does mean that genuine people who are just looking for a listening ear are treated with suspicion. This is a huge shame because genuine people who would benefit from some sympathy and advice often feel unable to post or if they do, they feel like they are being accused of lying

Wtf are you talking about🤣 pls get a life

Seeing as I’m on the M- Tro—s sub on Re—it, I’m one of the first people to not believe what I read on here. It’s the fucking internet lol so no clue what you’re talking about but thank you for recognising my username. I’m clearly a prominent poster😆

The mumsnet warning is standard for threads like this.

I think your husband needs to be looking for a paid job and wind up the business as soon as possible.