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My bank balance is £3.70 any words of encouragement welcome!

148 replies

TooCloseToTheEdge · 11/11/2023 19:10

I’ve just cashed in my pension (not the ‘big one’ which is only around £16k anyway), but my tiny £500 one.

my partner’s just cashed in £12k of premium bonds which is all his savings. This £12k will pay off his credit card which has reached its limit in order he can continue to buy material supplies to keep running his business on the card.

Our sofa has been collapsed in the middle for about 2 years. We can’t afford a new one.

His work vehicle is off the road because we can’t afford the garage bill to fix it.

my old banger just cost me half my wages this month for MOT repairs.
I work min wage zero hours contract every weekend due to SEN childcare commitments.

I have £3.70 in my bank until Tuesday when £39 child benefit comes in. That will pay petrol for the week ahead (I have daily work and school commutes different towns).
we don’t get child tax credit or working tax credit because I’m still paying off an overpayment from about 6 years ago where they fined me because I forgot the deadline for informing them I’d changed jobs. That cost me about £3k.

my husband is self employed, there’s no work coming in, he’s run his business ok for around 15 years, it’s slowly dying.

I had a workplace injury this year which means I’m limited on the type of work I can now do - basically only low paid relatively sedentary jobs whereas before I was in well paid albeit manual jobs.

I managed to buy one child some new clothes this month basics hoodies, trousers, winter coat but it’s all on catalogue style credit, so it’s one step forward two steps back when it comes to repaying.

my car insurance is due for renewal in 3 days. I don’t have any money in my bank to pay the first months instalment.

Our fridge has only condiments and veg. We prioritise milk and bread. I literally had bread and butter for my dinner tonight after I got in from work (well ok, toast, but same thing). The children live on pasta and breakfast cereals because along with milk these are the cheapest value range foodstuffs.

I can’t afford supplies for my older child’s course. I can’t afford to credit the school cafe for my other child’s lunches.

I wear free T-shirts that are given to people who sign up for charity challenges. I do a lot of these challenges because they raise a bit of money that goes direct from sponsor to the charity wallet, but mostly because I can get free T-shirts.
I wear these and pyjama bottoms at home.

My slippers are falling apart. Which bizarrely is one of the top 2 things that makes me feel in poverty.

we can’t afford the rent, but obviously we will somehow pay it because we need to live somewhere - this will involve delaying payment by begging the landlord to wait until my wages at the end of the month whilst hoping they don’t decide after 10 years of faultless rent paying we’re no longer viable tenants, we’ve cancelled things like Netflix, we obviously don’t go out, my last hairdresser appointment was in 2018.

the kids will get a present but it will be paid for using one of the trendy online credit schemes beginning with K.

im applying to a food bank for the first time in my life.

the oven has stopped working. So it’s electric but we have a gas hob at least. New ovens are £300+ the landlord contract states we are responsible for replacing it.

and lastly, I’m bringing home toilet rolls from work because I can’t afford the luxury of a 9 pack of family sized toilet rolls at £4+ a go. Bearing in mind we are bag searched at work, so I will spend time folding the sheets of toilet roll into compressed squares and putting them in my coat pockets rather than actually risking putting a whole toilet roll in my bag which will be searched - how do you explain that?!

if this sounds likes a weird kind of poverty boast that’s not what I intended. It’s to show that in this First World country I live in, two working adults with two children are living like this. Every day I wonder if walking into traffic would solve everything (husband would get my pension pay out then, although £16k isn’t huge).

i’m Happy for mumsnet to verify my identity to show this bank statement is both a) mine and b) accurate.

Something is broken in this country. And tomorrow I’ll drive to work again, for £10 an hour, knowing there’s no money to pay for the petrol home again, hoping the car doesn’t run out.

If anyone has words of encouragement - please pile in !
I’m hopelessly optimistic usually but this is a difficult one this time.

My bank balance is £3.70 any words of encouragement welcome!
OP posts:
fuzzystar · 12/11/2023 09:49

Also, consider the food bank.
And sell anything you can on vinted/ebay.

BlessedBeTheFruitCake · 12/11/2023 10:24

Honestly, apply for DLA now.
You don’t need a diagnosis just evidence of extra care needs. It might not help in the short term, but if you’re claiming DLA for your child there is a charity called family fund which can enable you to buy household appliances, clothes, toys.

justjeansandanicetop · 12/11/2023 11:21

Sorry to read this OP, it's so hard.

You've had a lot of good advice, but a couple of things that stand out to me:

The oven. Doesn't seem right to me that you're expected to pay for this? Surely this is the landlords responsibility? (Not sure the ins and outs but either way they don't sound like a good landlord. Do you have any other options there? Anything cheaper aviator rent or a posit of social housing?)

Your husband. It sounds like he will be getting an employed job once he has fulfilled these contracts? How long do you think that might be? Has he started looking yet? And once he does, could you sell his work vehicle? Would be a bit of cash coming in and running two vehicles is a huge expense.

Chin up xxx

Ellmau · 12/11/2023 15:36

Sorry for your difficulties OP. It must be so worrying.

The basic underlying issue is that your DH's business is not viable now. He needs to wind it up and look for a job as an employee.

Is he committed to the outstanding jobs because they have already paid his fee, so no future income likely from them?

Is the business a limited company or is he personally liable? Talk to your local CAB about an IVA or potentially bankruptcy.

ReallyLazySusan · 12/11/2023 15:48

OP as somebody who works in business banking, believe me when I say that I have seen too many people get into a mess financially because they keep throwing money at failing businesses.
Your husband needs to stop buying materials and get this business of his wound up immediately.

Combusting · 12/11/2023 16:07

MinnieL · 11/11/2023 19:34

People should always be aware when PM’ing the OP on these types of threads. Especially around this time of year

THIS with bells on

TooCloseToTheEdge · 12/11/2023 19:57

@Combusting this isn’t a begging thread only practical advice has been asked for.

Any communication offering anything but practical advice has been very kindly declined.

I have been on MN since 2009, but generally always on the AIBU or parenting boards so never really aware of ‘these kind of posts’.

But I agree with you it’s important to be cautious.

@everyone who has posted, Thankyou for all the advice and helpful pointers it’s exactly what I asked for.

I’ve learnt about several new avenues I can explore, and genuinely appreciate the time taken to reply.
I am going to bow out of the conversation now, and to the kind poster who offered new slippers because I’d mentioned that needing new slippers strangely made me feel like I was in proper poverty … I’ve just found some new ones on Olio, an app recommended on this thread !

Thankyou so much everyone, and good luck and warm heartfelt wishes to anyone else in a similar situation, you are really not alone .

OP posts:
bathroomcupnoard · 13/11/2023 09:57

I can sympathise as I've got a friend in a similar predicament. Her partner is self employed and finds is quite easy to get taken on for projects. But his budgeting and money skills mean that by the end of the job he's very often made a loss. If it wasn't for my friend working they would have lost their home years ago. A business not in profit isn't a business at all. It's a hobby

NewUserNameForChristmas · 13/11/2023 21:53

We once got a secondhand oven on freecycle. It just needed a clean but worked perfectly until we moved out about 3 years later. We also found an armchair outside someone’s house!

LeavesinAutumn · 13/11/2023 22:13

Op our ocean broke and we're got an air fryer to tide us over. Now we have a supposedly good oven i much prefer the air fryer. 50 quid. Definitely worth considering and you can take it with you.

My children had free toys for years from free cycle and free clothes from the free cycle.
People get rid of huge bags of stuff.

LeavesinAutumn · 13/11/2023 22:14

And sofas

WinchSparkle80 · 14/11/2023 11:29

Happy to help practically @TooCloseToTheEdge I have been exactly where you are. I am
in the position to help so please an amazon list or PM me what you need. Where are you based?

Sunshineandrainbow · 14/11/2023 17:25

How are you doing @TooCloseToTheEdge

SpaceRaiders · 14/11/2023 18:28

the oven has stopped working. So it’s electric but we have a gas hob at least. New ovens are £300+ the landlord contract states we are responsible for replacing it.

This sounds dodgy for a start and I say that as a landlord myself. The oven is part of the property and therefore the landlords responsibility to maintain no matter what he/she puts on the contract.

Timmydimmy · 14/11/2023 20:00

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Hey! Use my code U3P92Q on Eureka Surveys and unlock a short 80p survey just for signing up! https://eurekasurveys.page.link/VtqaWs6FkH9xWJ9g7

https://eurekasurveys.page.link/VtqaWs6FkH9xWJ9g7

Timmydimmy · 17/11/2023 21:58

How's it going@TooCloseToTheEdge?

user09878875795 · 17/11/2023 23:18

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

MikeRafone · 18/11/2023 06:56

citizen Advice for help

too good to go app for end of day bargin bags

as others have said, dp need a job at the end of his contracts. Could he take part time work in between?

if you could both get shift work it would negate the need for just one of you to work

i have neighbours who work opposite shifts Monday to Friday so one does childcare until 2pm and they swap. Not easy, but it means they both earn full time wage with tax allowance and not childcare- but weekends off work together - might be worth looking for?

TooCloseToTheEdge · 15/12/2023 16:54

@Timmydimmy much better now Thankyou wages came in more overtime in run-up to Christmas can actually afford some presents for the family now.

I tried Olio which I’d never heard of until this thread, but felt too guilty applying for the free food that was listed daily, feel like those listings are more suited to people living on the streets as I still have dried pasta in the cupboards and they may have nothing at all.

Some of the advice was so helpful, it really made a difference. I’m grateful for everyone who took time to reply.

Full disclosure I did receive a couple of messages offering money but I declined (I am sure if they wanted to those people can temporarily change their username to comment with confirmation I declined) as I wanted practical advice only.

Rock bottom, now floating slowly up again. Everything changes doesn’t it just give it time.

OP posts:
ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 15/12/2023 17:09

TooCloseToTheEdge · 15/12/2023 16:54

@Timmydimmy much better now Thankyou wages came in more overtime in run-up to Christmas can actually afford some presents for the family now.

I tried Olio which I’d never heard of until this thread, but felt too guilty applying for the free food that was listed daily, feel like those listings are more suited to people living on the streets as I still have dried pasta in the cupboards and they may have nothing at all.

Some of the advice was so helpful, it really made a difference. I’m grateful for everyone who took time to reply.

Full disclosure I did receive a couple of messages offering money but I declined (I am sure if they wanted to those people can temporarily change their username to comment with confirmation I declined) as I wanted practical advice only.

Rock bottom, now floating slowly up again. Everything changes doesn’t it just give it time.

I'm so happy to read you're in a better position now :) hope you have a lovely Christmas and a happy new year

ssd · 15/12/2023 21:43

Glad you're doing better @TooCloseToTheEdge

Catsknowbest · 23/12/2023 08:52

Wendysfriend · 11/11/2023 20:57

It's unfortunate that your DH paid the whole amount off his credit card, he should have kept back at least 2k and that would really have got you out of trouble. I know he needs to have money on his card to pay for materials but did he need to pay the whole 12k? Can you use his credit card for food and bills? Just until you get back on your feet.

Do you have 2 cars ? Can you sell one ? Can you work things around your DH re school runs etc so that he can do the main driving. I'm in Ireland so unfamiliar with 'procedures and costs' but would the bus be cheaper? I know here in Ireland due to diesel costs and traffic people take the bus to cut down on both. It would also be handy not having to pay tax, insurance, mot etc.

Re kids school lunches, can they take sandwiches? Or something from home, I use to bulk buy food and drinks for school lunches.

What's the minimum wage there in England? 10.00 seems very low, again not in England but this seems rather low, are you sure you're in the right payment ? Maybe have a chat with your employers.

About your injury, even though you feel you were at fault, I'd still look into this, that employer should have had your health and safety a priority and kept you safe.

It's hard, I hope you get sorted soon.

Sorry but the repaying of the entire 12k red flagged it for me. I don't know anyone in this dire a position who would allocate that entire available sum to a credit card whether needed for business or not. Especially when there are children. £10k would have been more than sufficient and enabled him to continue.

SuspiciousSue · 27/12/2023 07:51

Have you applied for Industrial Injuries for your workplace injury? Especially if it’s going to be long term. It’s paid on top of any other benefits.

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