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My bank balance is £3.70 any words of encouragement welcome!

148 replies

TooCloseToTheEdge · 11/11/2023 19:10

I’ve just cashed in my pension (not the ‘big one’ which is only around £16k anyway), but my tiny £500 one.

my partner’s just cashed in £12k of premium bonds which is all his savings. This £12k will pay off his credit card which has reached its limit in order he can continue to buy material supplies to keep running his business on the card.

Our sofa has been collapsed in the middle for about 2 years. We can’t afford a new one.

His work vehicle is off the road because we can’t afford the garage bill to fix it.

my old banger just cost me half my wages this month for MOT repairs.
I work min wage zero hours contract every weekend due to SEN childcare commitments.

I have £3.70 in my bank until Tuesday when £39 child benefit comes in. That will pay petrol for the week ahead (I have daily work and school commutes different towns).
we don’t get child tax credit or working tax credit because I’m still paying off an overpayment from about 6 years ago where they fined me because I forgot the deadline for informing them I’d changed jobs. That cost me about £3k.

my husband is self employed, there’s no work coming in, he’s run his business ok for around 15 years, it’s slowly dying.

I had a workplace injury this year which means I’m limited on the type of work I can now do - basically only low paid relatively sedentary jobs whereas before I was in well paid albeit manual jobs.

I managed to buy one child some new clothes this month basics hoodies, trousers, winter coat but it’s all on catalogue style credit, so it’s one step forward two steps back when it comes to repaying.

my car insurance is due for renewal in 3 days. I don’t have any money in my bank to pay the first months instalment.

Our fridge has only condiments and veg. We prioritise milk and bread. I literally had bread and butter for my dinner tonight after I got in from work (well ok, toast, but same thing). The children live on pasta and breakfast cereals because along with milk these are the cheapest value range foodstuffs.

I can’t afford supplies for my older child’s course. I can’t afford to credit the school cafe for my other child’s lunches.

I wear free T-shirts that are given to people who sign up for charity challenges. I do a lot of these challenges because they raise a bit of money that goes direct from sponsor to the charity wallet, but mostly because I can get free T-shirts.
I wear these and pyjama bottoms at home.

My slippers are falling apart. Which bizarrely is one of the top 2 things that makes me feel in poverty.

we can’t afford the rent, but obviously we will somehow pay it because we need to live somewhere - this will involve delaying payment by begging the landlord to wait until my wages at the end of the month whilst hoping they don’t decide after 10 years of faultless rent paying we’re no longer viable tenants, we’ve cancelled things like Netflix, we obviously don’t go out, my last hairdresser appointment was in 2018.

the kids will get a present but it will be paid for using one of the trendy online credit schemes beginning with K.

im applying to a food bank for the first time in my life.

the oven has stopped working. So it’s electric but we have a gas hob at least. New ovens are £300+ the landlord contract states we are responsible for replacing it.

and lastly, I’m bringing home toilet rolls from work because I can’t afford the luxury of a 9 pack of family sized toilet rolls at £4+ a go. Bearing in mind we are bag searched at work, so I will spend time folding the sheets of toilet roll into compressed squares and putting them in my coat pockets rather than actually risking putting a whole toilet roll in my bag which will be searched - how do you explain that?!

if this sounds likes a weird kind of poverty boast that’s not what I intended. It’s to show that in this First World country I live in, two working adults with two children are living like this. Every day I wonder if walking into traffic would solve everything (husband would get my pension pay out then, although £16k isn’t huge).

i’m Happy for mumsnet to verify my identity to show this bank statement is both a) mine and b) accurate.

Something is broken in this country. And tomorrow I’ll drive to work again, for £10 an hour, knowing there’s no money to pay for the petrol home again, hoping the car doesn’t run out.

If anyone has words of encouragement - please pile in !
I’m hopelessly optimistic usually but this is a difficult one this time.

My bank balance is £3.70 any words of encouragement welcome!
OP posts:
SaladSeeker · 11/11/2023 19:16

I'm so sad to read this OP and I'm so sorry you're in such a difficult situation. Obviously not a quick fix but have you looked into a personal injury claim for your workplace accident?

PinkyU · 11/11/2023 19:20

Firstly, I’m sorry you’re in this position, please know that to your children you are the most valuable thing in their life, they need you to be safe. Seek help from your gp, a charity or the Samaritans if you’re feeling like harming yourself.

Can I ask if you’re paying the lowest amount on your TC overpayment? You can negotiate as low as £1 a week if paying more will leave you at a deficit.

Are you receiving disability benefits for your child/ren with additional needs? Doing so may open up other benefit entitlements.

Foxy1616 · 11/11/2023 19:20

You’ve taking the first step by admitting how bad things are – in the immediate short term, you need to access a food bank. If you’re comfortable posting your rough location here, people will have ideas. If you have a local Facebook group for your town/village/area post on it NOW (you should be able to do it anonymously or you could word it as being concerned for a friend, but you need food). Next, talk to the children’s school and explain that you need help with lunches for the next week – the school will have an emergency fund of some sort.
if your husband is self-employed in a “trade“ (e.g. plumber, builder) he should be able to find work for a company until his own self-employment picks up again. He needs to do whatever he can to help the family.
next, get yourself over to Moneysavingexpert – the people there will help you find a way out of this

TooCloseToTheEdge · 11/11/2023 19:20

@salad no it was self inflicted injury. It was a manual job and I pushed my body too hard during a shift and caused myself an injury by not taking adequate breaks I guess. It was entirely my own fault.

OP posts:
BethDuttonsTwin · 11/11/2023 19:20

OP, I don't have much myself, but I do have spare pairs of slippers because my Mum buys me a pair every year for Christmas and I never wear them because I only like a certain type. What size are you? Send me a PM if you prefer. Also toys. I have boxes of them waiting to go on eBay. What are your kids into? They're mostly plushies, some Disney, all good condition,

As for the rest of it. I don't know what to say to help. This country is in a terrifying state. My own parents tell me with full seriousness that they're glad they're old because they don't want to have to face what's coming :(

Send me your shoe size and address if you feel that you can. They'll just go to the charity shop otherwise or even just outside. Where I live it's customary to put stuff we don't want outside for passers by to take, far rather send them to someone who really needs them.

StopLickingTheDog · 11/11/2023 19:22

Your husband needs to get a paid job and bring in money if his business isn't doing this.

Are you claiming everything you're entitled to - DLA, carers allowance (dependent on hours worked?) Etc?

ssd · 11/11/2023 19:23

This is shit op. Im sorry.

PokeyLaFarge · 11/11/2023 19:23

Oh, man...I'm sorry.

That's a shitty hand you've been dealt.

A few things:
From what you've written, it would seem your dh needs to accept that his SE job isn't paying enough and get employed ASAP.

Are you claiming everything you can?

I run a foodbank, please reach out to your local one. Do your kids qualify for fsm?

Re: your child's course stuff - please contact the school. They will have a hardship fund.

Sometimes local churches/vicars have access to funds/food too.

Good luck x

TooCloseToTheEdge · 11/11/2023 19:24

@PinkyU I didn’t know we could negotiate lower repayment Thankyou I will find out, although the tax credit overpayment has gone to debt collection stage now.

No benefits for the SEN child as they are undiagnosed although we receive good practical help from their education provider through the learning support team. They have accepted they have SEN requirements despite not having the official diagnosis processed yet.

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 11/11/2023 19:25

If he's cashed in 12,000 can he not spare 1000 to put in the family finances?

SaturdayShop · 11/11/2023 19:26

Absolutely stop getting things on catalogue.

I've just got DS his winter wardrobe from Charity shops and we aren't in a position anywhere near this! You can get some lovely items for pounds.

IncompleteSenten · 11/11/2023 19:26

You don't need a diagnosis to make a claim. You need evidence of their difficulties and the help they need.

Nothankyou22 · 11/11/2023 19:26

Please keep an eye on market place for things such as slippers, clothing even an oven
we have a page called before the tip on Facebook and there’s plenty uploaded everyday and also our local spotted page helps with supermarket vouchers etc as lots of people are struggling right now, we have a community donation page where people can offer as little as £1 but because there’s thousands of people on there it stays topped up.
contact your council and see if they offer the household support fund
have a look on olio for additional free foods
if you have any debt contact step change to reduce payments

Sorry you’re in a shitty position 😢

IncompleteSenten · 11/11/2023 19:27

Also it sounds like your husband cannot afford to remain self employed.

Hangryhelena · 11/11/2023 19:28

Hi OP, very sad to read your post, it’s sounds like you are really struggling. I hope things improve for you soon. What size clothes do you need? Please accept help from the previous posters 🙏

titchy · 11/11/2023 19:28

Your dh has just spunked £12k on stuff for a business which is failing. Rather than admit it's failed and get a job. That's your problem right there, and solution.

TooCloseToTheEdge · 11/11/2023 19:28

@IncompleteSenten no because it paid off his credit card which he uses for work materials. Literally every penny of savings was needed for that.
I get wages end of the month. But it’s around £800. We don’t get any other top up benefits and are not entitled to carers allowance etc

Thankyou for the offer of slippers to the other poster ! It’s daft but I might take you up on that ! It’s such a stupid thing to make me feel poor not having good slippers !

OP posts:
BethDuttonsTwin · 11/11/2023 19:29

Thankyou for the offer of slippers to the other poster ! It’s daft but I might take you up on that ! It’s such a stupid thing to make me feel poor not having good slippers !

Please do x

bryceQ · 11/11/2023 19:30

I don't know if this helps but DLA isn't made on a diagnosis it's done on care needs. Worth applying.

I'm sorry you're living like this. Could your husband get an employed job?

TooCloseToTheEdge · 11/11/2023 19:31

@titchy absolutely he’s aware the business is dying but right now he has contracts to fulfil that require savings to clear his credit card to pay for the materials. If he doesn’t do that he could end up getting sued.

OP posts:
PinkyU · 11/11/2023 19:32

TooCloseToTheEdge · 11/11/2023 19:24

@PinkyU I didn’t know we could negotiate lower repayment Thankyou I will find out, although the tax credit overpayment has gone to debt collection stage now.

No benefits for the SEN child as they are undiagnosed although we receive good practical help from their education provider through the learning support team. They have accepted they have SEN requirements despite not having the official diagnosis processed yet.

If you get in touch with either TC or the case manger of the debt agency and ask to arrange an affordable repayment plan, if you can provide evidence of hardship that will help. Definitely reach out to the MSE site for practical help, they are real experts on there, plus there are charities that help with debt management and budgeting.

Re disability benefits, no diagnosis is needed for entitlement, you need to be able to evidence needs greater than those of typical children, this can be school reports, behaviour plans, personal letters from those that know your child. There are also lots of charities that can help with the forms.

I would also recommend reaching out to your local carers support groups, they usually have a wealth of knowledge in regards to financial help that you can access.

notahappybunny7 · 11/11/2023 19:32

IncompleteSenten · 11/11/2023 19:25

If he's cashed in 12,000 can he not spare 1000 to put in the family finances?

The entire 12k should be going towards the family. £1 a month to the credit card.

WelshNerd · 11/11/2023 19:32

I'm sure the purpose on this post is to vent and that's understandable.

At a better time, book in to see your local CAB and ask for help in maximising your income and renegotiating your debt repayments.

Sunshineandrainbow · 11/11/2023 19:33

You may be able to get help for a new oven through local welfare.

I feel for you I really do. And I feel your pain. I am on my own work a full time role plus two evenings a week just to pay the rent. I tend to have beans on toast every night so children can eat better.
. I really don't have any advice.
Have you put your figures through entitledto.com to check your not entitled to something.

stargirl1701 · 11/11/2023 19:33

Have you spoken to Citizen's Advice? Make an appointment next week.

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