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Original poster

Paying board

148 replies

Pinkie98 · 10/09/2021 17:13

Hi, I've been actively looking for work for a while now and no luck, I just live off of my student finance. I still live at home and I pay £300 per month to my mom. I want to ask her if she can reduce this as it is just not affordable for me and I'm trying to save for a car and to move out. I've tried to ask her before but she'll say "I've already lowered your rent" or it will become an argument. I want to try and approach this in the best way possible even though I'm 99% sure she will say no. She has her own business and it's doing pretty well as her brand new 2021 car is coming today. I can't help but feel a bit funny about it because she says I should be paying more as she can't afford the bills but has just managed to finance a £45k car. How can I bring it up to her that I can't afford the rent, without fighting?

OP posts:
Herbie0987 · 10/09/2021 17:34

If you didn’t live at home you would probably have to pay more than £300 per month.

Original poster
Pinkie98 · 10/09/2021 17:51

@Herbie0987

If you didn’t live at home you would probably have to pay more than £300 per month.
@Herbie0987 yes I am aware of that, but I'd have an entire place for myself. My point is, it's not affordable rent right now as I still haven't found a job so I'm only living off my student loan
OP posts:
Fluffypastelslippers · 10/09/2021 17:55

My point is, it's not affordable rent right now as I still haven't found a job

Have a think about that.....

Original poster
Pinkie98 · 10/09/2021 18:03

@Fluffypastelslippers I don't think anyone understands where I'm coming from... I'm happy to pay board to my mom but I simply cannot afford £300 p/m rn. When I secure a job I'll be leaving as I'll be able to claim more from uni as well.

OP posts:
TabithaTiger · 10/09/2021 19:00

How much is your maintenance loan?

Original poster
Pinkie98 · 10/09/2021 19:17

@TabithaTiger I get the max amount which is about £7.9k, £2.6k for semester one which is sept-dec, after my rent, bills and savings I have about £170 left for the month. I admit thats probably more than what most people have but without a job, I feel like I can't really enjoy my life to the fullest (not that we can do much atm but you know what I mean)

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkie98 · 10/09/2021 19:21

My maths was incorrect, I'm actually left with £120 after bills etc

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkie98 · 10/09/2021 19:24

I'm so bad at maths, I forgot to factor in transport, my bus pass is £45 for 4 weeks so that leaves me with £75 p/m, I've been applying for jobs like crazy

OP posts:
CorrBlimeyGG · 10/09/2021 19:30

How much maintenance loan do you get per week, and what are your outgoings? We can't tell if you're reasonable when it's not clear where your money is going.

CayrolBaaaskin · 10/09/2021 19:36

It’s disgraceful that your Mum is charging you rent especially that amount when you are a full time student. She is obliged to maintain you in full time education. see if you can get family law advice -I knew a girl at uni who sued her father and got maintenance.

Dyrne · 10/09/2021 19:48

Part of university is about learning to navigate in the real world - and that includes having to pay rent and bills.

What jobs have you applied for? Hospitality and retail are absolutely gasping for people.

Original poster
Pinkie98 · 10/09/2021 19:51

I've kind of answered this above, £2.6k per semester , so first semester being 4 months,per month I pay £300 for rent £41.58 for my phone bill (I contacted my network twice to try and get it reduced but they won't) £45 for my bus pass, £250 in savings (trying to save up for a deposit to move out and for a car) and I pay £4.99 for apple music as it's the only entertainment I have

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkie98 · 10/09/2021 19:55

I've applied for a bunch of retail jobs including toy shops, pet stores supermarkets (tesco, co-op, home bargains and heron foods), receptionist, sales assistant and barista jobs. I've been repeatedly rejected by costa due to getting a low score on the test that you have to do. I used to work in hospitality but I can't anymore due to having severe contact dermatitis

OP posts:
CorrBlimeyGG · 10/09/2021 19:57

You can't argue that board is unaffordable when you're saving £250 a month! You need to find a balance between your existing commitments and your plans for the future

Original poster
Pinkie98 · 10/09/2021 20:01

What would you suggest then? I'm trying to save for a deposit to move out. The only reason I'm able to save that much is because I've stopped buying myself anything and I've stopped going out. It's impacting my mental health but I feel that saving the majority of what I have left is the only way I can leave home

OP posts:
Dyrne · 10/09/2021 20:53

Surely at a rate of saving £250/month you will save for a rental deposit in no time?

Either:

  1. Get your head down and grind through another month or two to get your deposit together;

  2. Ease up on the savings to splash a bit more cash (on what??) and accept it’ll take you an extra couple of months to get your deposit together.

ssd · 10/09/2021 20:56

I feel for you @Pinkie98

Needanewadventure2021 · 10/09/2021 21:55

@CayrolBaaaskin how is paying board a disgrace? If OP lived elsewhere she would have to pay someone else to live there. I have a friend who's daughter is in student accommodation. She is wealthy so is able to cover her daughters accommodation. She is paying £600 a month for a room and use of communal areas! Whether OP is a student or not she is an adult. I can say now if my son goes to University when he is older I absolutely would not be able to afford to maintain him. As much as I would love to, financially it is not possible. And I imagine this would be the case for alot of families. Me and my siblings all paid my parents board. I offered to pay them £250 myself alone and that was nearly 20 years ago. None of us begrudged it and it taught us a valuable lesson.

However OP I do personally feel £300 a month right now is abit unfair given you're not working. It also depends on your Mom's circumstances too. Was she in receipt of any type of benefits up until you started university? If so she would be feeling a big financial loss herself. When we were younger my parents were on a very low income. When we left college they lost their tax credits. Our board basically made up the deficit and enabled my parents to maintain the life we were being given. For my £250 a month I got everything included. Bargain! I can see though you have no problem with paying board its just right now whilst you haven't found a job. I must say if this was me or any of my siblings all those years ago my parents would have been fair and told us to pay what we could. Cost of living right now though is increasing. Maybe you both need to make some cutbacks.

No advice here really but I hope you do find work soon and/or your Mom can be less strict on the amount she is expecting. Its hard but you will find something

Needanewadventure2021 · 10/09/2021 21:58

But cutbacks I mean household bills

Trianglosarous01 · 10/09/2021 22:04

You probably will not be able to afford a place of your own

You may be able to afford a room in a shared property
Have you investigated how much other students are paying per month on your course ? Do you have a friend/s that you can share with next year ?

I would suggest, that you attempt to get a part time job & save up

pumpkinpie01 · 10/09/2021 22:17

I was about to say that's a lot of rent but now I'm confused . If you get £2600 for 4 months sep - dec .minus £1200 for rent that leaves you with £1400 for 4 months . £350 a month not £75 a month ?

Needanewadventure2021 · 10/09/2021 22:22

Apologies OP. I have just read through your post again. Your Mom doesn't sound hard up at all. She's being unfair. I can totally understand the reason behind paying board, but if her business is doing well why can't she be more flexible. I'd be abit confused her saying she struggles to pay the bills but a brand new car turns up

8dpwoah · 10/09/2021 22:28

Could you not move into student accommodation like many of your peers will be doing on the same financial standing? I'm afraid I'm not clear from your posts if this isn't an option but surely it's the obvious solution for a student that doesn't want to live at home?

8dpwoah · 10/09/2021 22:29

Also, how will having a job mean you can claim more from uni?

MyDcAreMarvel · 10/09/2021 22:57

Most students have approximately £60-75 a week to live on and that includes food. You have £82 a week.