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Original poster

Paying board

148 replies

Pinkie98 · 10/09/2021 17:13

Hi, I've been actively looking for work for a while now and no luck, I just live off of my student finance. I still live at home and I pay £300 per month to my mom. I want to ask her if she can reduce this as it is just not affordable for me and I'm trying to save for a car and to move out. I've tried to ask her before but she'll say "I've already lowered your rent" or it will become an argument. I want to try and approach this in the best way possible even though I'm 99% sure she will say no. She has her own business and it's doing pretty well as her brand new 2021 car is coming today. I can't help but feel a bit funny about it because she says I should be paying more as she can't afford the bills but has just managed to finance a £45k car. How can I bring it up to her that I can't afford the rent, without fighting?

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkie98 · 11/09/2021 00:52

@8dpwoah

Also, how will having a job mean you can claim more from uni?
I meant I can claim more if I move out
OP posts:
Darbs76 · 11/09/2021 07:31

I won’t be charging rent to my son when he starts Uni next year (if he stays at home, he will probably move away). Yes you’d pay more in your own place but as you say you’d have the entire place. £300 is a lot for a student. It sounds like you’ll get nowhere with your mum, best thing is to move into your own accommodation. Yes it will be more but it sounds like the best thing before this impacts your relationship with your mum. All the best with your studies

ItWearsTheBatteriesOut · 11/09/2021 07:35

Your mum can't be that wealthy if you are getting full loan, what do you think you will be able to claim when you do move out?

mummyh2016 · 11/09/2021 07:35

You can claim more what, benefits?

ItWearsTheBatteriesOut · 11/09/2021 07:36

@CayrolBaaaskin

It’s disgraceful that your Mum is charging you rent especially that amount when you are a full time student. She is obliged to maintain you in full time education. see if you can get family law advice -I knew a girl at uni who sued her father and got maintenance.
This reply is crazy. She is not obliged to maintain an adult.
ItWearsTheBatteriesOut · 11/09/2021 07:37

Does the £300 cover everything? That wouldn't cover my DD rent on her halls.

MrsRockAndRoll · 11/09/2021 07:44

So you expect to pay less while saving for a deposit AND a car?

I think you are unrealistic of costs.

Fluffypastelslippers · 11/09/2021 07:46

I think the only reason you can't afford to pay is because you are saving so much. Small life lesson here - home first, living costs second, savings third.

freelions · 11/09/2021 07:51

Assuming there is no back story about you being 30 or having done multiple undergraduate degrees I agree OP that it is quite unusual for a parent to take a significant amount of board from a university student child

Most parents are concerned about how they can support their DC through university rather than looking to make a profit from it

Having said that I'm not sure what you can do about it if your Mum is determined

Do you have a good relationship with your Mum otherwise?

ShrimpBarbarian · 11/09/2021 07:54

@ItWearsTheBatteriesOut

Your mum can't be that wealthy if you are getting full loan, what do you think you will be able to claim when you do move out?
I was thinking this
ShrimpBarbarian · 11/09/2021 07:54

I've done my ds student finance, and I earn around 50k, and we didn't get full loan

partystress · 11/09/2021 08:00

With no job, why are you expecting to have any money left over after living costs? That is the reality for many, many students, and actually for many working people.

Not being harsh OP, but there has never been a better time to look for student jobs because hospitality is on its knees. Look at Stints for one off jobs while you find something more substantial that fits around your studies. Your mum would be doing you no favours if she let you think the world owes you.

Howshouldibehave · 11/09/2021 08:04

@ItWearsTheBatteriesOut

Your mum can't be that wealthy if you are getting full loan, what do you think you will be able to claim when you do move out?
This.

I presume she has bough a car on finance.

How old are you?

8dpwoah · 11/09/2021 08:22

You haven't answered my question about why you aren't able to take advantage of the reduced costs of living in student accommodation?

I presume you mean you'll get a bigger loan if you aren't living at home but I doubt there's very much else you could claim as a student? What do you think you'll be eligible for, I ask was there are posters here who will be able to tell you correctly what you're eligible for in terms of wider support, if anything.

There are people on here who can give really good advice OP but you need to be clearer about what you're doing at present and what you've got in your head about this hypothetical moving out on your own to see if it's realistic. Obviously there are people in real life at uni that will do the same.

The board to your mum is fairly irrelevant really in terms of your plans because even if you reduce it to save a deposit the money you've got to work with is highly unlikely to sustain a private rental (if you can even get one) and working enough to top that up would in turn most likely damage your studies. Student finance and student accommodation exist precisely for these reasons.

ssd · 11/09/2021 08:50

Presumably the op can move out and claim some universal credit if she's not living at home

8dpwoah · 11/09/2021 08:55

I don't think students can claim universal credit or surely all would be doing it.

user1493494961 · 11/09/2021 09:11

You'll have to look a bit harder for a job.

THisbackwithavengeance · 11/09/2021 09:37

You need to look harder for a job.

Walked down my high street the other day, practically every shop has "staff required" signs up and job vacancies in factories, care homes and hospitality are advertising on local facebook sites every day.

They literally cannot get enough staff.

My 16 year old son and literally all of his friends have walked into jobs. None of them have experience or great qualifications. Some of them I wouldn't have trusted to walk my dog and yet there they are, working in supermarkets and local eateries. Good on them.

Sorry to be a bit Norman Tebbit here but if you can't find a part time student job in this current climate, then you are not trying!

BehindtheCurta1nCat · 11/09/2021 09:37

Op have you ever had a job ?

VioletCharlotte · 11/09/2021 10:02

I understand it's a bit of a shock when you have to start paying bills and suddenly don't have so much disposable income to go out, but that's all part of being an adult unfortunately! My DS maintenance loan only just covered the rent on his student house, I gave him money for food, he had to get a job to cover any other expenses and spending money. You're in a much better position that most. Once you have saved for a deposit and moved out, your maintenance loan may increase, but so will your rent (probably around £500 a month for a room, depending where you are) so you're probably better off staying put unless you can get a job.

lgty · 11/09/2021 10:13

What about asking your mum if you could do some of the housework in exchange for her lowering the rent slightly. At least this way you aren't expecting a reduction for nothing. I would agree in advance exactly want you would be responsible for doing - eg all the washing and ironing or all the dusting/cleaning and hoovering.

Original poster
Pinkie98 · 11/09/2021 10:25

@mummyh2016 if you are living away from home, your student loan increases.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkie98 · 11/09/2021 10:26

@BehindtheCurta1nCat yes I have had a few jobs before

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinkie98 · 11/09/2021 10:27

@ssd I don't claim universal credit. You aren't entitled to it if you are in full time education

OP posts:
8dpwoah · 11/09/2021 10:30

So, again, why aren't you in student accom? The more evasive you are with your posting the less help you will get. It's a bit weird you posting that you'll claim more (as in loan) from uni when everyone knows that it's not the uni that pays your loan but student finance. That's why I questioned what you were planning on claiming as the terminology you are using doesn't fit with the norm.

Are you at uni? Full time undergrad? Why can't you live in student accom? What are you expecting to move out into in terms of housing? What sort of part time jobs are you looking at/hoping for to fit round your course?