Paying board

[Pinkie98]

Hi, I've been actively looking for work for a while now and no luck, I just live off of my student finance. I still live at home and I pay £300 per month to my mom. I want to ask her if she can reduce this as it is just not affordable for me and I'm trying to save for a car and to move out. I've tried to ask her before but she'll say "I've already lowered your rent" or it will become an argument. I want to try and approach this in the best way possible even though I'm 99% sure she will say no. She has her own business and it's doing pretty well as her brand new 2021 car is coming today. I can't help but feel a bit funny about it because she says I should be paying more as she can't afford the bills but has just managed to finance a £45k car. How can I bring it up to her that I can't afford the rent, without fighting?

How are you getting the maximum loan if your mum can afford an expensive car ?

yes I am aware of that, but I'd have an entire place for myself. My point is, it's not affordable rent right now as I still haven't found a job so I'm only living off my student loan
Screeching with laughter at the entire place to your own. Grow up and learn about what life costs.

Wouldn't helping around the house be something you'd do anyway. My DS is in primary and is expected to help around the house already as I am not a slave. I'd be really cross if as an adult he was still living at home (student or not) and expected to have everything done for him because he was paying abit of board. If he lived elsewhere he would be paying more and cleaning his own place so he would be expected to help at home too!

My friend pays 600pm for her daughters student accommodation which is a single room, and use of communal areas and council tax only. I was shocked when she told me. She is also in a house of 8!!!! 600pm is more than double my mortgage. And when you factor in other bills I bet its close to what I pay a month to run my house and have full access to everything.

As for jobs there are loads of places advertising. Everyday on fb i am seeing more and more jobs being advertised.

Reading other peoples comments I don't know how unreasonable your Mom is being now. As others have said she can't be earning much if you have been awarded as much as you have. Is her business new? Is the car on the business? What did she do before going self employed? Was she entitled to any sort of benefits prior to starting the business? The amount you have been award would suggest her income is low.

But if you were living away from home it would cost more than £300 a month and as pp said you wouldn't have it all to yourself, you'd have a tiny box room and a shared kitchen with people that don't clean up after themselves. My adult son still doesn't have a place for himself, he flat shares like the majority of his friends.

yes I am aware of that, but I'd have an entire place for myself

Yeah….

If I was your mother I would kick you out of the house and let you back in when you lost your arrogance and understood what your contribution to running the household should be.

[quote Pinkie98]@mummyh2016 if you are living away from home, your student loan increases.[/quote]
Yes but so does your rent!

@choli

If I was your mother I would kick you out of the house and let you back in when you lost your arrogance and understood what your contribution to running the household should be.

Yes, I have to agree. In fact if this was my DD I think I'd pay the deposit for her just to get some peace and quiet 🤣

@CayrolBaaaskin you are confused , parents are morally obligated to back up the difference between the loan the student receives and the maximum loan. The op already gets the maximum loan.

@Pinkie98 your mum earns under £25k she is not well off. Your loan is meant for living expenses not savings.

When I say entire place to myself I'm not talking about student accommodation, I'm talking about renting privately, the places for rent in my area start from about £380

@8dpwoah I'm aiming to move into a "normal" flat instead of student accommodation. As I mentioned previously, rent in my area starts from about £380 for a 1 bedroom flat. but I won't be able to until I secure something part time. Majority of my work experience is in retail so those are the sort of jobs I'm applying for

@Pinkie98 but then you have all your bills on top to run the place which will at least double your rent

Parents are morally obligated to make up difference between the loan a student gets and the maximum. The OP gets the maximum so her mum owes her nothing money wise but at same time in my opinion, should not be taking money away from her DD. If the mum just supported her with living costs, the OP could have taken out a lower loan and be in less debt.

I do think charging rent to your DC when at home and in FT education is morally wrong unless absolutely necessary. The mum has bought a 2021 £45k car so I don’t think we can argue the mum is in desperate need of financial help from her uni age DD.

If it’s moving back home as an older adult due to job loss or fleeing an abusive partner, then some small contribution to household costs might make sense depending on circumstances and how long the DC ends up staying.

@choli Well maybe if I knew where my money was going, or what it was being spent on, I wouldn't feel so "funny" when I see my mom coming home with designer goods but then also telling me she can't afford the bills

@Needanewadventure2021 tbh I really wouldn't mind. I know everything will cost more, but living at home isn't good for me mentally. My relationship with my mom has been up and down for the last 3ish years and I just want to live somewhere, where I won't feel on edge

OP
I think the best thing for you would be to move out as soon as you find work. Your mum doesn’t sound like she will compromise and lower the rent she charges you. There are no deposit programs at a lot of estate agents so go on Rightmove and look at those properties.

@PlanDeRaccordement thank you. This is my plan

Then defo move out as soon as you can

My parents didn’t charge me rent when I did my second degree when I lived at home, but then I had very little income as the degree I was doing was vocational and included full time hours on placement so I was only able to earn about £200 pm as I was on £7.50 ph doing bar work and waitressing (15 years ago), and I didn’t get a student loan as I was already paying one off.

In your shoes I would consider approaching your local recruitment agencies - they’ll have clients like hotels / clubs / events places screaming for waitressing / bar staff, especially with wedding season probably being non stop for the next 2 years.

My ds is in the same position as you, at Uni but lives at home, receiving Maintenance Loan, apart from him also having a part time job at KFC and there is no way I'd take £300 per month off him. He pays me £40 per week and I provide all food, toiletries etc and drive him to and from the train station every day. I'm monitoring how he copes as I want him to have enough left to enjoy his life and if he's struggling I'll halve it. I hope your mum goes easier on you.

Parents are not 'obligated' to make up the difference. Its nice if they do but if they don't it's still possible to go to university. My parents didn't make up my loan I just had to work more.

Sorry but you are being unreasonable, £75 a week is a bargain, most students are paying £100-150 in a shared flat with no food included.

I'm sorry but I think you're living in a dream world if you think you'll be able to work enough hours to afford a place on your own AND complete your studies adequately AND run a home on your own.

But hey, why not go for it. Just don't burn your bridges with your family in case you need to move back in when reality bites.

That's assuming you will actually be granted a tenancy with a part time job as a full time student, I'm not sure private landlords generally want student tenants but that is research in the meantime.

If you don't know where your money is going I'd say you need to look into the costs of running a home and do a budget planner for when you do move out. £300 a month doesn't go far in the real world.

@MyCatDribbles I do recieve emails from recruitment agencies with job vacancies and apply for any that I have experience in, I'm also applying
For jobs through indeed, total jobs and through the website for my local town centre. As mentioned previously I can no longer work in the hospitality industry due to severe contact dermatitis, so slightly limited there but I apply for what I can, usually 5-10 jobs per day