My inhertiance is causing issues in the family

[eastendgirl234]

Even writing this post I feel embarrassed as I am perfectly aware that we live in a world of financial hardship. So please know, I am not trying to brag and I don’t want a pity party. I just want some advice from an unbiased third party.

So here goes… I inherited a four-bedroom house from my Godmother last summer. She didn’t die but she wanted to distribute her estate before her impending divorce (so her husband, who didn’t own any of the properties in her portfolio, couldn’t take anything). In addition, she gave me a large sum of money to renovate the house as it was built in the 40s and hasn’t been renovated since. As a 22-year-old girl, this is something I should be happy about. It means I can live mortgage free for the rest of my life. However, it has become an issue within my family and my relationships.

My mum is a single parent and brought me and my sister up on her own - I am forever grateful! She thinks I should give her and my sister the money between them. My godmother explicitly advised that I use the money for bills (which are £900 a month including council tax and insurance) and to renovate the house as a builder quotes it might cost over £100k! I am only earning £21k annually so as you can imagine cannot afford to pay that on my own. I plan to rent out rooms to alleviate some of the costs but cannot do that until I renovate it. I decided to take my godmothers advice and renovate the home. Now my mum is suggesting I re-mortgage the house and give her and my sister £25k each. However, I don’t want the financial responsibility of mortgage payments and bills at my age and on my current salary. I suggested that in 2-3 years I might be in a better situation to do that, but she thinks I am being selfish, and this is causing issues between us.

I can’t help but feel guilty that I have inherited this house, because my family, my friends and people I meet that are my age are struggling and feel like everyone is judging me for getting the easy way out. Should I feel this way?

P.s. I am not a mum. But as this is a platform where family-oriented women share their stories I hope you won’t mind!

I think your mum sounds very selfish. If I was in her position I'd be pleased that one of my DC were 'off my hands' from a financial support position and hope for a few nice presents.

Your mum is being very, very unfair. You are in a fantastic position and she should be glad of you. Telling you that you should borrow money to give to her and your sister is really shocking. Don't pay any attention to it at all.

While you are very lucky your mother sounds very selfish and you absolutely shouldn't take a mortgage on the house to give her or your sister any money - as a pp said she should be pleased for you. Don't tie yourself down with debt when you don't need to!

It is unfair of your Mum to ask but also of your Grandmother not to give evenly without explanation to those not getting the same. Neither of which is your fault. Good luck doing the house up.

Its generous of your godmother and your good fortune is not something that should be sparking jealousy in the family, they should be pleased for you. From what you describe your mother and sister would get £25k each to spend and you'd get a mortgage. Use the money as your godmother intended. Be careful of any tax liability if she dies early though.

It's her godmother, not grandmother @Digestive28

Your dm isn't a very nice woman to begrudge you this wonderful advantage given with love. Maybe she is jealous someone else could 'treat' you when she can't. Maybe she is just bitter her and dsis haven't got such a gift. Either way not your problem. Just cut her off every time she mentions money or the house. Do not part with a £ and don't be bullied into getting onto debt.

@Digestive28

Godmother not grandmother and she can do what she likes with her money!

OP, I also think your mother is being very unfair and selfish. This is a wonderful opportunity for you.

It has got to feel incredibly unfair to your sister but ultimately, this is your godmother's decision and she just has to deal with it.

It's nothing whatsoever to do with your mum, really. I get that she has feelings about this but really, there is nothing that your mum and sister can do except work to get over their sense of unfairness.

Have you taken any legal advice in respect of this? I am not sure if your godmother's (ex) husband could have any claim to the house but, if your godmother needs to go into a car home in the next few years, they may be able to make a claim against the house and tax would be payable if she were to die in the next 7 years.

Hang on to your house, don't mortgage it and go with your original plan of letting rooms out. If you gain a partner along the way protect your asset of your house.
Many other people who are your age now will get help from family/inheritance over the next 20 years or so. They will get promotions, maybe meet a wealthier partner who knows.
I say this as someone who is not on a great (or even good) income and is quite comfortable because I'm not paying a mortgage and the security is great

Use this all as your godmother intended. If you take a mortgage or give money away you could end up losing the house and not getting the benefit she wanted to give you
Just be careful that what she is doing is legal and you won't be caught out by any taxes or bills down the line (another reason not to give it away)

I’ve brought my two children up on my own and if one of my daughters were in the same position as you I would not expect a penny from them . I would be happy that they’re going to be financially secure for the rest of their life’s . Your mum is being extremely selfish . I would follow your godmothers wishes and do exactly as she has asked you to do and ignore your mum .

Is there a reason your godmother hasn't made any financial provision at all for your mother or sister? it seems a bit odd that she'd leave you what amounts to 100s of thousands of pounds. Surely at some point she was friends with your mum if you were made her goddaughter.

Having said that, its her money to do with as you wish and I don't blame you for not wanting to give it away. Do your mum and sister suffer from financial hardship? Are you going to be living in a lovely 4 bedroom house, mortgage free with tenants who will help pay bills and boost your income while they're living in a terrible 2 bedroom flat in a horrible neighbourhood?

I think if I received a financial windfall I'd want to help my family in some way. what that would look like, I could say. But I could easily see myself giving away some cash and getting a small mortgage to pay for the building work.

It doesn't sound like what your Godmother has done is quite legal to be fair.

Do what your godmother has requested. It's what she wanted.

As for your mother, she sounds selfish and grabby. Don't remortgage

Why should the OP get a mortgage to give money to her sister and mother?

I'm no legal expert but shes offloaded an asset to you prior to divorce. I'd make sure she has had legal advice before doing so.

Your mother is being ridiculous. This is very kind and generous of your godmother and I think you need to just keep reiterating that what your mother is suggesting goes against the express wishes of your godmother, who is still alive so your mother can take it up with her (presumably they are friends since your mum choose your godparents).

Guilt comes in everywhere

When I bought my tiny flat, I lost a friend because she was jealous and said she’d never afford it

I’m not sure what the answer is but I’d say enjoy your good fortune. What you do with any spare cash is your choice.

I inherited a four-bedroom house from my Godmother last summer. She didn’t die

You didn't inherit it, she gifted it.

If she dies within seven years this will be added back to her estate and inheritance tax may be payable, depending on the size of the whole estate.

You and she need to speak to a lawyer. If she is married it's very likely these are marital assets which she does not have the right to give away.
The husband may not care but the fact she's trying to remove them from the pot suggests he actually would.

But both of those things aside, your gift is of no concern to your mother and sister. Thank her for choosing such a great godmother. I am a godmother and my will gifts to my godson, I hope no-one thinks it's unfair I didn't gift to his brother or patents! They all have their own godparents (I have none) who may gift to them.

But I can see it's a really tricky situation. Though I don't think you should take a mortgage to gift them money. You might find you can help your mum out in her dotage though.

This is your Godmothers decision.

Your mother sounds incredibly selfish thinking she’s entitled to anything. Most parents would be over the moon that their child had been given such an amazing gift and needn’t worry about how your going to get on the property ladder.

If I was your Godmother as much as it’s up to the person who receives the gift what they do with it I’d be bloody furious to find out your mother was trying to guilt you into giving her money.

Sounds a bit dodgy, legally. She's effectively hiding assets from the divorce. This could go wrong, I'd seek legal advice.

Did your godmother get financial and legal advice before she gave you this gift? There may well be repercussions if she didn't - from the divorce courts or the tax authorities. I wouldn't spend or do a thing until or unless you are sure that she is covered legally and you know your tax liability if e.g. she dies in the next 7 years. Courts, for instance, do not at all tend to smile on the deliberate deprivation of assets by "gifting" them to friends or family members.

As others have said, I think this gift will eventually bite you on the bum!

Sounds very dodgy legally with regard to her motives for giving you this gift. Tax implications for one, her husbands divorce lawyers for another!