Aibu to want to spend this much on an engagement ring? (Honest advice please)

[Notsureiftheringistoomuch]

Hello, not sure if this is the best place to post this or not... have name changed anywho

Basically, I have an issue. Me and DP have been discussing engagement/marriage and we are pretty much on the same page for all budgeting aspects, both have the same idea of how much we want to spend on wedding/honeymoon etc. We both earn good money, not obscene amounts by any means but combined income of ~£80kish, both on similar salaries. Basically we are in a good position financially but we also dont go around splashing money for no reason on pointless things, eg we go on one relatively cheap holiday once per year, dont have a brand new car etc. Live within our means with a nice quality of life.

I always told DP I dont want a really expensive engagement ring as it's a waste of money. Would tell him when we were discussing, dont spend more than £1,000. We have been looking at rings and I'm dismayed to say I have fallen in love with a £2,000 ring. :-(

Aibu to really want this ring? It is like one of those moments when people say they found "the one" eg when referring to a wedding dress/house/whatever. I feel guilty thinking my DP may spend that much on a ring (as he likes it too) and cant stop thinking that I'm being ridiculous/greedy/etc. I worry a little if he does buy this ring I will spend ages feeling bad about it because of the cost. Also worried DP will now feel like he must buy that ring no matter what as any other ring will just be a disappointment. I do feel if he got another ring I would still be really happy, not as happy as if I got the £2,000 one obviously, but still happy. But I feel like he would constantly be thinking I'm pretending to be happy if he got a cheaper one.

Ultimately if everything goes to shit with our finances I dont care, I just want to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him no matter how rich/poor we are. I just feel very bratty for feeling this way over a stupid ring ffs

Does any of this make sense and if so can anyone offer any advice?

Sorry, having seen your link - for two grand you can do better.

Mine is a single good quality certified diamond. That is worth two grand to me but I think the one you like isn't going to be great quality diamonds.

But if you love it, why not.

I don’t think £2k is that much to spend on a ring but I agree with the posters suggesting you to get one made by a designer in Hatton garden.

The quality of that ring isn’t great, you could easily get something similar designed with better quality diamonds and something which is unique. Rose gold is rather fashionable now but will date I think.

OP please don’t buy that ring! It’s a total waste of £2k and not worth it by a long shot! Look at auction houses, you will get a fabulous ring for £1-2k!! High St jewellers are such a massive rip off!!

Mine was Hatton garden. I've seen similar in high street jewellers for twice that.

They are not an investment though. I sold my rings from my first marriage and got about a third of what they cost.

I think mine was £800 25 years ago. He chose and bought it so that he could propose with it. That way you don’t have any guilt.

Wouldn’t spend £2k in Earnest Jones. Better to get one made .

@NameChangeNugget Because most people wouldn’t bat an eyelid at spending that on a weekend away

My god. What circles do you hang out in such that 'most people wouldn't bat an eyelid' at spending £2000 on a weekend away?!?!?

She’ll hopefully have that for life and pass it down the generations

Presumably none of her ancestors have ever had one then, or her boyfriend's ancestors?

I mean it has almost zero resale value, so what has happened to all the previous generations' 'totally worth it' baubles?

If you can afford it then why not? You’ll be looking at it every day for ever so get the one you live. My ring was £500 25 years ago and I still love my ring.

I believe a rough guide on what to spend is three times his monthly salary.

I don't know who worked this out or when but I've known about this for 40 years. Not sure if it's still the norm.

Mine happened to be less, my husband designed it and had it made especially and I love it very much.

Go to Hatton Garden and get the same ring made for half the price

I was going to say get it - you'll look at that ring for the rest of your life, and need to love it!

Then I saw what you've posted.. and I'm sorry but I wouldn't spend £2k on that.

Firstly, if it's gold you will need that replating every couple of years at the least. At £2k you should look at platinum.

Secondly, I definitely wouldn't spend £2k on a high street ring as the mark up will be ridiculous. I also imagine they will charge for cleaning, upkeep, subsequent valuations etc if you need/want it.

According to the description on the website, it's a clarity P1 diamond which I've never even heard of on the scale before! After googling, it says that diamond will have eye visible inclusions - another big no no.

The diamond doesn't look to be certified either.

For £2000 I honestly think you could do a lot better if you design your own.

Who on here wears their engagement ring?

I haven't even looked at mine in years!

They're not an investment unless you buy them second hand or you pay only for the raw materials (gold and diamond).

Very few actual pieces of jewelry go up in value, although gold and diamonds themselves maintain their value. Most people want a new ring and won't pay more for a second hand one unless there's a particular reason.

No a ridiculous sum. I wouldnt have anything of that amount. Engagement rings get lost stolen and not worn for most of the working day. What is the point

I don't know who worked this out or when but I've known about this for 40 years. Not sure if it's still the norm

It never was the norm. A marketing manager at De Beers 'worked it out'.

It baffles me how people fall for this shite

But equally - you're comfortably off and if you love it, buy it! Who are we on here to tell you what to do?

Who on here wears their engagement ring?

Me, and I love it

They're not an investment unless you buy them second hand or you pay only for the raw materials (gold and diamond).

Other metals and stones are also available

If it's to OP's taste now, I don't see why she would ever stop loving it just because fashions will change.

I would personally rather spend that kinda cash on rare books or perhaps a nice Stalin statue, but if you love this ring, go for it.

I wear mine 24/7 and have done for the last 25 years. @ItWillBeBetterinAugust

Engagement rings get lost stolen and not worn for most of the working day

Mine was £3.5k and I rarely take it off! In fact I’ve probably taken it off fewer than 5 times in the 8 years I’ve been married.

Who on here wears their engagement ring?

Me. I thought most people did!

Engagement rings get lost stolen and not worn for most of the working day.

Do they? Don’t most people with office jobs wear them all the time?

@ItWillBeBetterinAugust I haven’t taken mine off since I put it on 12 years ago why do ppl NOT wear them?!!

I rarely wear mine. I have an office job.

People on this thread saying how their ring has increased in value by thousands, you’ll find that’s only for insurance purposes. If you ever try to sell it you’ll be bitterly disappointed.

Most people I know wear theirs.