Aibu to want to spend this much on an engagement ring? (Honest advice please)

[Notsureiftheringistoomuch]

Hello, not sure if this is the best place to post this or not... have name changed anywho

Basically, I have an issue. Me and DP have been discussing engagement/marriage and we are pretty much on the same page for all budgeting aspects, both have the same idea of how much we want to spend on wedding/honeymoon etc. We both earn good money, not obscene amounts by any means but combined income of ~£80kish, both on similar salaries. Basically we are in a good position financially but we also dont go around splashing money for no reason on pointless things, eg we go on one relatively cheap holiday once per year, dont have a brand new car etc. Live within our means with a nice quality of life.

I always told DP I dont want a really expensive engagement ring as it's a waste of money. Would tell him when we were discussing, dont spend more than £1,000. We have been looking at rings and I'm dismayed to say I have fallen in love with a £2,000 ring. :-(

Aibu to really want this ring? It is like one of those moments when people say they found "the one" eg when referring to a wedding dress/house/whatever. I feel guilty thinking my DP may spend that much on a ring (as he likes it too) and cant stop thinking that I'm being ridiculous/greedy/etc. I worry a little if he does buy this ring I will spend ages feeling bad about it because of the cost. Also worried DP will now feel like he must buy that ring no matter what as any other ring will just be a disappointment. I do feel if he got another ring I would still be really happy, not as happy as if I got the £2,000 one obviously, but still happy. But I feel like he would constantly be thinking I'm pretending to be happy if he got a cheaper one.

Ultimately if everything goes to shit with our finances I dont care, I just want to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him no matter how rich/poor we are. I just feel very bratty for feeling this way over a stupid ring ffs

Does any of this make sense and if so can anyone offer any advice?

Of course it's a massive waste of money. You know that. You're asking here so that loads of people who wasted money similarly will gush and tell you to do it.

Whatever. It's your money. Or rather your boyfriend's. Not mine.

Surely we all ‘waste’ our money: holidays, eating out, theatre trips, furnishings, spare bedrooms. All unnecessary, but surely that’s the point of money, it buys stuff!

Buy the bloody ring OP buy it!

Seeing g that you've asked, personally I think engagement rings are ridiculous and woukdnt spend that amount if money I one.However I'm not a fan of relatonship jewellery at all and I don.t have a wedding ring

I have an antique ring, pointed it out to dh who has NOeffingIdea about jewellery with the words

"if anyone was to buy me a ring it would need to be very close to that"

and luckily for me, the lovely man purchased that very ring

It was way more than I expected but it is on my finger every minute of the day, I never take it off, and I still love it after all these years! (30+)

OP it's a lovely ring but as PPs have pointed out, massively overpriced. Go to Hatton Garden and have a jeweller make a similar one for you - I guarantee you will save hundreds of pounds and get better quality diamonds.

Would you spend two grand on a piece of jewellery?

Have you tried it on? That can make a huge difference to just looking online. As others have said it’s definitely worth going to a independent, the quality will be SO much better.
Have you looked at any antique jewellery? Instagram is a good place to start the search, there is quite a bit that echos the one you like.

If I were you I’d ask myself, do I think I’ll love in it 20 yrs time? Is it practical to wear it everyday (you‘ll know this by trying it on)? Is the cost so much I’ll always regret it?

How many rings have you tried on?

Buy it!! Can we at least see a picture?

Kwkwjwkek, there is a picture in a link above.
OP, don’t buy from Ernest Jones. It’s a huge ripoff.

@daisypond do you want pee any harder

youhedge what are you talking about?

get the one you want....it is something you will wear everyday .....of all the wedding 'stuff' the rings are the physical lasting symbols pretty much everything else is 'extras'

maybe think of it as part of the overall wedding budget and maybe reduce other stuff to mitigate some of the cost -- there are generally always things that can be trimmed by relooking at the plan - wedding costs can vary from £200- to £££££

My wedding and engagement rings were not expensive but my eternity ring cost a lot of money. I love all three rings for different reasons, the wedding ring because it was made for me, the engagement ring because we were desperate to find one and bought it in Camden antique market on Saturday afternoon so I would have something to show my parents when we announced the engagement ( small pretty victorian) .
My eternity ring is a big sapphire with circles of sapphires and diamonds around it. It was DHs thank you for a difficult pregnancy and labour which produced lovely DS1. We took DS1 with us when we bought it and it brings me enormous joy.
In short OP, just accept this ring, as everyone says you will look at it for many years to come.

This thread is mind boggling.

Who are these ppl saying they would be afraid that they would lose the ring?? Mine hasn’t come off since I put it on 12 years ago

Go for it

If you can afford it, go for it.

Why wouldn’t you?

Mine was around £3k.. I love it and dh can afford it easily so why not ! Get the one you want otherwise you never forget about it .

Another vote for getting your ring made at Hatton Garden. We've just had ours made and I would say you get 25-30% more ring for your money compared to High St jewellers. Try and go for one with a work shop rather than a shop front as their overheads will be lower. We were recommended to someone and he's done a lovely job.

Also recommend you try on the ring you like first, don't go by just the online image. You may find it looks to big/small/not right. Good luck

Oh yes and the diamonds colour and clarity was far better than the High St jewellers

You only live once, life is not a reversal.
Try and enjoy yourself more, splash out occasionally. You can afford to do so and why shouldn't you.
You don't know what's round the corner.
Get the ring you love.

@NameChangeNugget If you can afford it, go for it. Why wouldn’t you?

Why would you?

I get it. My ring was £2000, which seems like a ridiculous amount of money but it was the one we both loved the most. Five years later it still brings me joy to look at it. Hopefully I'll still be looking at it in 40 years and I know I'll still love it then.

The thing is, we could afford it. It's only a problem if you can't.

My wedding ring was only £80 and most of my clothes are ebay, so it's not as if I have expensive tastes generally, but this was something special.

Because most people wouldn’t bat an eyelid at spending that on a weekend away, a holiday or extras on a new car. She’ll hopefully have that for life and pass it down the generations @ScarlettBlaize

That’s why I think OP should go for it and it’s still well below the individual jewellery item limit on contents insurance policies, so can’t be that uncommon