Can't afford to feed my husband

[Prusik]

Gah, the title sounds pathetic! Please don't rip me to pieces for the fact that he should be feeding himself but it's the simplest summary I can give.

DH is 6ft7 and skinny. He eats a lot to maintain his weight. He's both milk and egg free (milk is allergy, egg is intolerance as his gut tends to get inflamed). He also tries to avoid sugar as he was finding he was getting major energy slumps during the day and reaching for sweets.

Ok, so here goes. I did the food shop last night and it was £100. Haven't bought any luxury items apart from I bought four cartons of supermarket brand apple juice and haven't yet bought meat for the week.

Try to fill him up on protein, ie nuts, chicken wraps, etc as empty carbs just don't seem to cut it. I rely on cheap meat where I can, we eat a lot of mince. And I bulk things out with cheap veg and potatoes. We cook chilli with beans, pulses, etc and I make my own humous as that's a good fix and so much cheaper than the supermarkets.

I'm just at my wit's end. For various reasons we're now at the arse end of poor. We're going down to one vehicle and are really struggling. We don't buy coffees out, don't go anywhere which costs parking... everything we do is free. But I'm still struggling to afford to feed DH. I do buy fruit in for the baby and am starting to cut corners with what I eat just so DH and Ds can be fed. I'm not going without but will just have jam on toast for lunch rather than anything better as I don't want to use food up. This is far from ideal as I'm 28 weeks pregnant change in circumstances happened after I conceived

We get tax credits and child benefit.

Any tips for feeding a very hungry person on the cheap?? He's not greedy, he genuinely needs the food. ds is beginning to look like he will be the same

You've had loads of good advice here. Especially about you needing to eat properly, how are you going to build a baby on jam sandwiches? You need some decent food - doesn't have to be expensive, but it's better to be eating some cheap homemade veg soup or dhal, at least some of the time, rather than just bread and jam.

With your DH seconding what people have said about not focusing too much on protein - carbs don't need to be empty. They're what your body primarily uses for fuel, unless you're a keto diet advocate! Cheap good quality carbs like oats and brown rice, wholemeal bread, combined with cheap but decent quality sources of protein - things like tinned fish, pulses. Combined with a shedload of veg. That should be the majority of his diet.

Make a vat of carrot and lentil soup. Bean and veg chilli. Kidney bean and carrot burgers. Have tinned fish with a jacket potato. Peanut butter sandwiches. Look at what people doing weight training on a budget have to help bulk out their diet.

Why is he eating rice cakes, I eat those because I'm trying to lose weight!

I'm really not understanding the dilemma here.

My DP is 6'2, manual job and 'can' eat like a horse and yet has a medium build.

Firstly - you MUST prioritise yourself! You are pregnant and growing a baby, your nutritional needs come before your husband who is a grown, capable man!

The fact you are sacrificing the nutritional needs of you and your baby to put your DH first horrifies me.

Secondly, he is a grown man! Surely he is capable of using common sense and filling up on things like porridge or a big omelette for breakfast, both are cheap, jacket potatoes for lunch, potatoes and vegetable heavy meals such as stews, casseroles etc for dinner.

Does he even realise you're skipping on meals or eating food that is nutritionally inadequate so he can eat??

Also meat and fish pastes or pate for in sandwiches and look for cheap fish in the freezer section.

Another good trick is finding out what time of the day your supermarket do they're reductions. You can get vastly reduced meat and ready meals that are near expiry, as long as you eat or freeze them straight away they are perfect.

Also, tinned peas are 25p. Tinned beans are the same. Brussels sprouts, green beans etc. (frozen) are about a pound a packet.

Are you feeding him steak or what?

Could he eat leftovers for lunch?

I get a small pack of mine, load of lentil, two tins of chopped tom, two tins of kidney beans, two packets of chilli con carne mix. Serve with brown rice and tesco value baguette garlic bread.

Next night we have more chilli, but with tesco value nachos, sprinkle cheese on.

Rest gets portioned into freezer bags. Lift out night before, defrosted by lunch and we have them with the microwave rice (we only buy that for packed lunches) you can get it for 49p a pack in Homebargains.

*mince not mine.

Nuts and meat are very expensive. You should try using more legumes instead. Just buy lots of tins of lentils, beans, chickpeasetc and use one a day. You can add them to meat dishes like stews or you can use them to make things like salads, curries and soups. Porridge outs are also very cheap and very filling. You may want to consider buying in bulk if you have somewhere to store as it is much cheaper.

OP why don’t you come and join us on the Frugaleer threads? You’ll find us in Credit Crunch. We’re a very friendly bunch who will offer lots of support and good ideas.

It does sound as though he's quite selfish about food. Most people would compromise on food if money was very tight or even go a tiny bit hungrier than they normally do but he's happy for you to eat jam on toast as long as he gets his expensive foods.

@hermoninny I think you're right. I am missing the point. I've just given ds my sandwich because he tipped water all over his while.i was chopping carrots for a bloody lentil soup

I've listened to all advice and am going to chat to DH tonight.

I didn't realise really that wraps were any worse than bread. So it's not about me being Cinderella or anything

What about instead of the nuts, a bulk bag of Bombay mix from the World food aisle?

Hi OP. I wonder if a slow-cooker would help you? I am thinking about how tired you must be, PG with a toddler.

Advantage of a slow cooker is that once you have nailed how to use it your DH can make the evening meal in the morning. Then you only have to focus on feeding yourself and DC during the day.

Might also be less stressful for him if he is more involved in cooking.

He should so get checked for ceoliac (sp.)

Good luck. I also spend 100 on food, easily.

I think you need to send him to the GP for a check up if he's a) hungrier than usual and b) having gut problems. Unfortunately there is a lot of shitty advice available about food 'intolerances' that frequently steers people towards unnecessarily expensive dietary changes (and can make them genuinely unwell). Of course, there are people who self-diagnose 'food issues' simply in order to get their own way, but you make no particular mention of your H being generally selfish.
You should definitely let him know that you are depriving yourself of food in order for him to eat what he wants - if he isn't absolutely horrified, then you might need to reconsider your marriage.

Brown rice / jacket potato and a tin of mackerel is cheap and filling. Asda tinned mackerel is 57p, in plain oil or tomato sauce.

You should definitely let him know that you are depriving yourself of food in order for him to eat what he wants - if he isn't absolutely horrified, then you might need to reconsider your marriage.

This

£100 before you have bought meat is a lot of money for a family of three plus bump. There will definitely be ways to bring this down. Which supermarket do you visit?

We switched from Sainsburys to Lidl and saved about £20-30 per week. The shopping experience is not as nice, but we go when they open on Saturdays and it's a lot quieter than the rest of the weekend.

Ditch the rice cakes and ham salad wraps they are not an efficient use of resources. Can you make some flapjack-type oat bars with nuts and dried fruit mixed for DH to snack on instead of nuts?

I would look at making vegetable curries using chick peas, lentils and coconut milk, etc. Baked potatoes are very filling too.

Soup is awesome - also cheap supermarket cooking bacon is an extremely cheap way of getting calories including protein.
Big red lentil and bacon soup for will give you 4,000 calories for under £4, that's his weekday lunches sorted with a big chunk of bread.

Agree with doctor's visit. Are his allergies / intolerances confirmed medically? A lot of people think they have food allergies but actually don't.

The combination of hunger, skinniness and IBS type symptoms does sound like a possible wheat intolerance. Definitely worth seeing the GP for testing.

If wheat and other gluten products are OK for him then you might try switching to heavy German style pumpernickel breads made with rye and barley. They are not particularly cheap to buy in supermarkets, though easy enough to make at home, slice and freeze, but still cheaper than buying ham and wraps. A few slices of one of those with peanut butter and a banana is the acme of filling, rib-sticking food. I am a greedy porker and I can't manage more than one slice with peanut butter.

instead of rice cakes, which are expensive and largely air, you could make baked rice balls flavoured with a touch of grated cheese (arancini), sinfully delicious and my go to for filling up two teenage boys who are bottomless pits. There are plenty of recipes on the web but you don't need to go fancy, they are basically boiled rice plus an egg to help them stick together, plus some flavouring e.g. cheese, shaped into balls and fried or baked.

I'd also recommend he takes a couple of hard boiled eggs and an apple as snacks. Cheaper than nuts and a very filling combination of protein and fibre.

I've just done a dummy shop on Morrisons for you.

Hope it copies. Comes just under £50

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He sounds a bit dim. Chomping through bags of expensive nuts but 'isn't' a breakfast person' so won't fill up on cheap porridge while his wife goes hungry?

Fucking ridiculous.

It's expensive at present because he's wanting expensive options. Not because of his calorie intake.

^exactly this.

Allergy is medically confirmed since he was a young teen (I think, maybe preteen), yes. Egg was a process of elimination due to dodgy gut. He has an awful stomach every time he has egg.

Baked potatoes and stuff aren't easy with work but he is partial to a chilli. He really likes a bean chilli so will.make more of that. Just trying to work out how to transport soup to his work tomorrow!

Have you thought about visiting your local food bank? I think you might need to get a referral note from a GP (possibly?) but that might help you pad out your budget a little.

OP could you put your receipt up so we can see where the £100 has gone it sounds an awful lot unless you are shopping in M&S . Quick sidetrack are you feeling better hiddley ?

Stop faffing around with farm shops and almond milk and go to Lidl or Aldi. Nobody NEEDS almonds and I am disgusted that you are going without food so he can faff around with fucking almonds.