Can't afford to feed my husband

[Prusik]

Gah, the title sounds pathetic! Please don't rip me to pieces for the fact that he should be feeding himself but it's the simplest summary I can give.

DH is 6ft7 and skinny. He eats a lot to maintain his weight. He's both milk and egg free (milk is allergy, egg is intolerance as his gut tends to get inflamed). He also tries to avoid sugar as he was finding he was getting major energy slumps during the day and reaching for sweets.

Ok, so here goes. I did the food shop last night and it was £100. Haven't bought any luxury items apart from I bought four cartons of supermarket brand apple juice and haven't yet bought meat for the week.

Try to fill him up on protein, ie nuts, chicken wraps, etc as empty carbs just don't seem to cut it. I rely on cheap meat where I can, we eat a lot of mince. And I bulk things out with cheap veg and potatoes. We cook chilli with beans, pulses, etc and I make my own humous as that's a good fix and so much cheaper than the supermarkets.

I'm just at my wit's end. For various reasons we're now at the arse end of poor. We're going down to one vehicle and are really struggling. We don't buy coffees out, don't go anywhere which costs parking... everything we do is free. But I'm still struggling to afford to feed DH. I do buy fruit in for the baby and am starting to cut corners with what I eat just so DH and Ds can be fed. I'm not going without but will just have jam on toast for lunch rather than anything better as I don't want to use food up. This is far from ideal as I'm 28 weeks pregnant change in circumstances happened after I conceived

We get tax credits and child benefit.

Any tips for feeding a very hungry person on the cheap?? He's not greedy, he genuinely needs the food. ds is beginning to look like he will be the same

Re calories, there are calculators where you can enter info to get what he needs online.

The thing to remember is that calories are an approximation, not exact. Some people may have a slightly lower or higher basic rate at which they convert calories into energy. Nutrition labels are allowed a 20% margin of error re calorie content. And there’s growing evidence that not all calories are created equal: 500 calories of sugar or fast carbs is likely to stimulate an insulin response that will lead to you feeling hunger more quickly than say 500 calories of fat.

Plus some people may have issues with absorption (eg crohns or coeliac) which I think your husband might be wise to investigate and rule out if he meets other indicators?

Prusik you married a giant. Glad things are going well. I tried making some gf wraps this morning they weren’t great lol but they weren’t awful think il need to google technique.

One thing - your dh says that it is your responsibility to ensure you eat properly.

I agree.

However, just as you wouldn’t leave an open bottle of wine out if your partner is a recovering alcoholic, it is completely irresponsible for your husband to insist on such expensive food when you are so short of money thus meaning that the temptation for you to martyr yourself is right there.

Tuscan bean soup and the like before dinner, the soup will fill him up and add nutrients, meaning he won’t eat so much afterwards. The soup will add calories and it’s fairly normal to have soup as a starter

Blimey OP it sounds like he's on weight watchers! Ham salad wraps, nuts, rice cakes & no breakfast? I'd be ravishing.

You need to fill your cupboard with cheap staple foods that release energy slowly for BOTH of you.

Potatoes
Pasta
Rice
Cereals
Bread

I can't tell any difference between big brands & own brand supermarket. Large bag of wonky potatoes is about £1.20. Bag of rice 40p, bag of pasta 40p, box of cereal less than £1. Loaf of Morrisons own whole meal bread is 50p. Wraps are more expensive & less filling

Eggs

'Cheaper' cuts of meat, pork is quite cheap & turkey/chicken.

Bags of nuts are a luxury in our house!

Do some batch cooking

Make some soups, stews with literally anything & everything you have. Serve with potatoes/pasta/rice

Have a look on the reduced sections in the evenings

Beans on toast
Jacket pot with cheese

(I realise he has allergies, they are suggestions for you too)

Cheaper fruits - bananas apples & oranges. Pack of 4 kiwi fruit 50p
Veg - carrots, cabbage & peas tend to be cheap. Tins of sweet corn 28p. Tinned tomatoes 30p

Don't go shopping until you have emptied your freezer & cupboards

How is it going OP? Hope you are not going hungry.

OP there is very little evidence of harm from phyto-oestrogens (soy)
More likely to end up with hormone treated cheap meat! If you are really concerned maybe look at a more pesceterian (sp?) approach

I agree, with a lot of what has been said. Whilst nuts have high calories they are very expensive. As a diabetic, trying to eat low carb, I eat a lot of protein. But I think your Dh needs carbs AND protein. Cold meats, part baked French sticks, bread, soups, potatoes.
Is all of that manageable?

@bluebells1 thanks for checking on me I've been a bit distracted lately as DS has been really poorly. DH and I have agreed to do alternate weeks with cooking/sorting lunches and dinner. This week is his week and he's made curry, burgers (not ideal) and I don't remember what else. He's also been freezing leftovers into containers.

Next week is my week - not sure what I'm planning yet.

DH is loving the porridge every morning and has promised me no more shop visits. He said if he doesn't fix himself some food then he just has to accept he'll be hungry. Next week I'll cook some more lentil soup and chilli for his lunches as DS is also pretty partial to a decent chilli.

Mum has taxed my car for 6 months for me, which is a bit shameful but hopefully it'll be easier once DH's van is gone. We pay the tax for that monthly and it's still likely that we won't replace the vehicle. Although with two babies 13 months apart (due feb), I'm probably likely to find the car useful. No way am I driving 2 hours a day to fetch and carry DH to work, I'd rather have no car!

I'm sorry your DS has been poorly and well done for negotiating changes with your DH, but I'm still not seeing much fat in your meal plans, which sound like they were designed by slimming world.

We have been so conditioned to the fact is bad mantra, that people sometimes forget that fat is part of a normal, healthy balanced diet. why do you say that your DH making burgers is bad?

YY to lentils and pulses, but have some fats too. A greasy bacon sandwich from time to time won't harm you or your budget.

And back to those nuts, another reason for your DH to see a GP is that the nuts could be aggravating his digestive problems. He sounds like he would benefit from seeing a qualified dietician TBH

This might sound really bad but for the moment our focus needs to move to DS. We have DS2 arriving in about 10 weeks and a baby with minor but persistent health problems.

I'm pretty sure we do have fats.

But for now, fixing DS has to be number 1 priority I have a thread on this if anyone feels particularly interested to search

Glad you are managing to find a routine that works and that you are not starving yourself anymore. Hope things settle down soon for you.

Fair enough OP you sound like you have enough on for now I hope things settle soon.

Just to say, it really doesn't sound like you need a farmers market but a farm shop instead.... I'd go to a farmers market for fancy bread and posh sausages round here but I'd go to a farm shop for sacks of potatoes, veg, trays of eggs, etc

So glad your DH is having breakfast now and that’s helping but sorry to hear that your baby is poorly. Have you got a link to your other thread?

I've heard from a reliable source that every single one of DH's work colleagues has wrapped up a bag of peanuts for him for Christmas

Prusik that just made my day. Hope things are going well on the saving front and your all sorted for Christmas

We're doing pretty good thanks. It's been tough lately with Ds being so poorly but he's much better now and we had a slight cash injection from dh's final business stuff. Officially the business has been closed down now so hopefully DH will come off of basic rate tax in the new year which will make life easier.

Have a lovely Christmas

@EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic Massively late reply. Sorry!!

Thread 1

Thread 2

OP, over the last 18 months or so, I've lost about 1.5 stone. I have a mobility disability which means I can't do loads of exercise, so I've done it by restricting my calories by a few hundred each day... very slow but effective

I'm telling you this because for weight loss I increased protein - to feel full - and decreased carbs. Not crazy low carb-ing, just having two veg for dinner but not potatoes.

I'd say if he is looking to maintain his weight cheaply, carbs are your friend. Especially if he needs more fibre, potatoes are very much your friend, they have loads of fibre, in most forms. After a while trying to lose weight, I was struggling to get enough fibre, and realised it's 'cos I had stopped eating so much potato! I went on to find fibre in vegetable soup etc, but if he needs calories, baked potatoes and mash are brilliant.

Good luck!

He needs more fat and carbs.

High protein, "Clean eating" is expensive and keeps weight off.

Butter, whole milk, potatoes, bread, pasta, beans.

You need a balanced diet yourself full of protein, complex carbs, fruit and veg for the sake of your baby.

Haven't read all the threads, so forgive me if I'm repeating advice.

I just managed to gain almost 3st since last Xmas, despite being the poorest I've ever been.

Our fall back meal is 'Soupermash`, as in a pile of mash with soup poured over. Potatoes are unpeeled, so no waste and mashed with full fat butter and whatever nut milk is on offer. Soup is usually lentil, made with those cheap bulk packs of brothers mix and whatever veg is reduced at the end of the day. We're vegetarian, but obviously you could add bacon bits, pasta, rice or whatever you have.

Another favourite is cheese and bean toasties. If we're being really lazy, pudding is then a banana toastie. Cheap, filling and not too bad, nutritionally.

I often pick up reduced baguettes and make simple pizza with DS from pasta sauce, cheese and whatever else needs using up. DS loves this for supper.

Quorn is regularly on offer somewhere, half price or 3 for 2.

All the best, OP.