Can't afford to feed my husband

[Prusik]

Gah, the title sounds pathetic! Please don't rip me to pieces for the fact that he should be feeding himself but it's the simplest summary I can give.

DH is 6ft7 and skinny. He eats a lot to maintain his weight. He's both milk and egg free (milk is allergy, egg is intolerance as his gut tends to get inflamed). He also tries to avoid sugar as he was finding he was getting major energy slumps during the day and reaching for sweets.

Ok, so here goes. I did the food shop last night and it was £100. Haven't bought any luxury items apart from I bought four cartons of supermarket brand apple juice and haven't yet bought meat for the week.

Try to fill him up on protein, ie nuts, chicken wraps, etc as empty carbs just don't seem to cut it. I rely on cheap meat where I can, we eat a lot of mince. And I bulk things out with cheap veg and potatoes. We cook chilli with beans, pulses, etc and I make my own humous as that's a good fix and so much cheaper than the supermarkets.

I'm just at my wit's end. For various reasons we're now at the arse end of poor. We're going down to one vehicle and are really struggling. We don't buy coffees out, don't go anywhere which costs parking... everything we do is free. But I'm still struggling to afford to feed DH. I do buy fruit in for the baby and am starting to cut corners with what I eat just so DH and Ds can be fed. I'm not going without but will just have jam on toast for lunch rather than anything better as I don't want to use food up. This is far from ideal as I'm 28 weeks pregnant change in circumstances happened after I conceived

We get tax credits and child benefit.

Any tips for feeding a very hungry person on the cheap?? He's not greedy, he genuinely needs the food. ds is beginning to look like he will be the same

Soup with either lentils or pearl barley and loads of veg in thermos for lunch works for mine (physical, outdoor work). Second adding healthy fats where possible - olive oil on pasta etc. Lots of pasta!! (wholewheat is good for fibre but can be more expensive).
Generally, lentils are your friend! (And beans)

Generally not a good idea to adapt your diet and start eating only certain types of food without any advice on what you definitely need to be eating, especially when it could be something that really needs treating such as worms.

You guys are making me cry. I'm not sure if it's in a good way or a bad way. We're doing our best in a really tricky situation. He lost his business in the summer and managed to walk straight into a job. We're budgeting carefully but the truth is once we service our loan and bills there isn't much left over. He's fully aware of the situation but there's literally nothing we can do to solve it apart from undo my pregnancy and I go back to work fully. Unfortunately we didn't plan for such an extreme change of circumstances after I was pregnant.

Thank you so much to those who are focusing on my question.

We've managed to find a farm shop on the way home from dh's work which sells meat for very reasonable prices. Their veg looks to be reasonable too but dh is going to cost that out in more detail before we make the switch.

I make a pretty good good lentil soup which is very filling.

Most of my problem is finding energy for these things as having a 10 month old baby and a pregnancy isn't the easiest to deal with. DH already takes over when he gets home from work so he doesn't have time to do any more really so the onus is on me to sort this

I also have the same model DH.

Get to tesco! They do these foot long baguettes at 4 for £1. I ram one of them full of real butter, cheese, cheap ham, mayo. Carbs and protein. Salad wraps won't touch the sides. Own brand snickers, and some fruit, Aldi do nice Muller Rice rip offs which are filling. Nuts and salad stuff are too expensive. Get a pack of bananas, pack of apples, pack of pears. All less than £1 at aldi. Boring but helps meet the 5 a day.

STOP NOT EATING! You're pregnant. You NEED to eat more than jam on toast. You are priority over your husband. Children first, then you, then him. If you review the food budget WITH HIM, and show him how you're missing out, and it still doesn't work, see your health visitor or GP, either for foodbank help, budgeting help, or help leaving your DH if he doesn't see the problem with you not eating properly.

My DH is coeliac and has a huge calorific requirement due to his work and sporting activities. At weekends he has huge breakfasts and in the week takes piles of sandwiches to work ( makes his own g/f bread) For supper we all eat the same but he has lots of rice, G/F pasta or roast veg with his meals and cheese (if appropriate) in mash or on pasta. I also make or buy puddings for him. It is very galling that I'm prone to put on weight and have to eat so little while he can just consume mountainous quantities of food and remain thin.

I guess you have tried these?
cookingonabootstrap.com

Seriously!

If your household budget cannot cater towards his food preferences (allergy’s not included in this) then he needs to work out How best he can accomadate this.

If he’s needing to eat 4 ham salad wraps at lunch time because he just fancies skipping breakfast then he’s not being considerate nor is he being realistic.

Salad this time of year is expensive amd if you are having to eat jam on toast to accomadate this then it can not be afforded.

His need for food he enjoys is not more important than yours.

Things like porridge or beans with toast would be more filling than ham salad wraps.

Have a look at budget vegan food ideas as they will fit in with the milk and egg free requirements but you can obviously make them with meat or other nine milk/egg products.

But plan and design your menus with him. He’s a grown up.

I don't think he has worms

We've been v poor and OH has a job that uses lots of calories. Soup - loads of it with potatoes and lentils. Porridge (with water banana and pine nuts) - a huge bowl will last a while. Peanut butter and honey/own brand nutella sandwiches make a good cheap calorific lunch. Nuts as snacks. Giant bags of brown rice if you have anywhere you can get them (Sainsburys do these in some places - and really cheap spices too)

Breakfast. He's really not pulling his weight if he is just 'not a breakfast person' porridge is cheap and filling and he had better start eating it. I'm a 'eating while nauseous makes me miserable and often sick' person but I'm pregnant so forcing food down. He needs to eat breakfast. Weetbix, homemade muesli or porridge, witty full fat milk. You need to eat more and better yourself.

He needs to get over his food snobbery. Nuts and chicken wraps are expensive. Porridge (soya milk is cheap at both Tesco and Aldi, he can’t afford nut milks now), tinned fish (sardines/pilchards, not tuna) and jacket potatos are all cheap sources of nutrition.

Do you have an Iceland near you? Their frozen veg and fish are cheap and good quality. If he’s got dodgy guts, tell him to get to the doctor and get a diagnosis.

Baguettes are a really good idea. I could buy peanut butter and ham and he could make those up for his lunch.

He doesn't know what I am/am not eating as he's not here in the day

I agree about tinned sardines/pilchards and seeking help for his guts.

In terms of time to cook, he/you could batch-cook at weekends/whenever he doesn't work if you're able to freeze and store stuff.

I just saw you mentioned servicing loans as a major outgoing. Can I suggest the Money Saving Expert debt free wannabe forum page for help with that? It doesn't sound right that repaying loans is causing you not to eat properly, especially with a little one and another on the way. There are really good people on the thread who can help you negotiate with your creditors to get your outgoings to a level you can actually afford.

Yes, nuts and meat are expensive but sounds like you are already bulking out with whole grains and carbs, so I can't see that spending a bit less on nuts is really going to make enough difference: maybe the problem is the debt bill, not the food bill?

forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=76

Soya milk is really bad for most people, especially men. Messes with the hormones. I drink almond milk now so it's in the house anyway (ironically I also have a diagnosed milk allergy)

I can't understand how you spent £100 and that doesn't include meat 😳 even if you're buying formula & nappies that's still a lot

Carbs don’t have to be empty carbs. Brown bread, brown rice etc. I agree that ham wraps and rice cakes are very light and not filling at all.
Have a look at this website for bulky, healthy vegetarian meals. She also has meat options I think. But a lot of her recipes use legumes etc and aren’t overly expensive. They are Thermomix recipes but not hard to alter.

thermobexta.com.au

Buy a sack of potatoes and bake a few each night for him to have cold as snacks the next day. Just slice in half, put a small amount of butter on when cooled, pinch of salt and pepper then wrap in tinfoil.

He needs to be involved in the discussion on how to change this. Really not healthy for you to be going without.

I've mentioned musclefood before and I promise I don't work for them!!
They're amazing value for money. Meat is similar price to Lidl, but better quality.
We do a shop every month for all our meat and they offer great price hampers.

I second the other posters who say to use rice, pasta, lentils etc to bulk up foods. A ham salad wrap isn't hugely filling for me, but a Tupperware full of pasta and tuna (protein slowing down the carb release) and pesto is great. Or Bolognese or chilli etc.
We used to make a mince based sauce, throw in a supermarket own family bag size of stir fry veg and DH would be fine for 12 hours.
My DH is a big guy (wide rather than tall!) But he was okay with that.

We do have a plan to sort the debt. You're right, we're in a huge mess. We're going to sell a vehicle which will allow us to pay back approximately half of the loan. Then renegotiate. That'll free up about £150 a month (hopefully, we haven't crunched the numbers yet). Equally, HMRC are taking out basic rate tax from dh's pay packet - which when you're earning minimum wage leaves you with very little! I do the book keeping, as soon as I've got final figures from dh's self employed time, hopefully that can be rectified

Can u change the bulk of your shopping to somewhere like Aldi? Their long life almond milk is cheap as are things like rice and pasta.

I think GP is a good idea, could it be a thyroid issue possibly?

Eating a lot of almonds is very expensive, even if you find relatively cheap ones. Better to use more oats and pulses instead if you can, or at least back to more peanuts/peanut butter.

Also gnocci. I only have to eat about 3 and I feel stuffed.

Im the wrong person to ask because I do not hold myself responsible for my DH's eating habits or meals.

But I do think its perfectly fine for men to be skinny. He can get a part time job if he wants to eat more. Suggest you prioritise yourself and your unborn child.

Morris speaks sense.
Breakfast : am not surprised he’s not a breakfast person if he’s havibg supper and has 4 chicken wraps to look forward to. Cut out the supper and he’ll soon become one . Value oats .

Iunch and dinner: You buy a load of value bread and value pasta . Potatoes .

You fill up on proteins as that’s what you’ll need if you’re pregnant . Don’t martyr yourself . No healthy man of any height needs to eat four luxury wraps and a bag of nuts a days if you can’t afford it .