Can't afford to feed my husband

[Prusik]

Gah, the title sounds pathetic! Please don't rip me to pieces for the fact that he should be feeding himself but it's the simplest summary I can give.

DH is 6ft7 and skinny. He eats a lot to maintain his weight. He's both milk and egg free (milk is allergy, egg is intolerance as his gut tends to get inflamed). He also tries to avoid sugar as he was finding he was getting major energy slumps during the day and reaching for sweets.

Ok, so here goes. I did the food shop last night and it was £100. Haven't bought any luxury items apart from I bought four cartons of supermarket brand apple juice and haven't yet bought meat for the week.

Try to fill him up on protein, ie nuts, chicken wraps, etc as empty carbs just don't seem to cut it. I rely on cheap meat where I can, we eat a lot of mince. And I bulk things out with cheap veg and potatoes. We cook chilli with beans, pulses, etc and I make my own humous as that's a good fix and so much cheaper than the supermarkets.

I'm just at my wit's end. For various reasons we're now at the arse end of poor. We're going down to one vehicle and are really struggling. We don't buy coffees out, don't go anywhere which costs parking... everything we do is free. But I'm still struggling to afford to feed DH. I do buy fruit in for the baby and am starting to cut corners with what I eat just so DH and Ds can be fed. I'm not going without but will just have jam on toast for lunch rather than anything better as I don't want to use food up. This is far from ideal as I'm 28 weeks pregnant change in circumstances happened after I conceived

We get tax credits and child benefit.

Any tips for feeding a very hungry person on the cheap?? He's not greedy, he genuinely needs the food. ds is beginning to look like he will be the same

Have you looked at the super budget recipes like cookingonabootstrap.com/ ?
I did a "satay sauce" from her book which was basically very cheap peanut butter and water in a spirit of adventure and was genuinely surprised at how fine it was - not gourmet food but I certainly wasnt suffering through eating it.

Four ham and salad wraps?? No wonder you're skint. And rice cakes? May as well sprinkle your pennies down the drain for all the nutritional benefit in those.

But fear not. I agree with pps, porridge at breakfast is a non-negotiable. And instead of those wraps, big potato in the microwave with a tin of cheap beans on. And yy to lentil soup!

He doesn't know what I am/am not eating as he's not here in the day

You need to tell him then, I bet he'd be horrified!

He should see the GP. I had an insatiable appetite before being diagnosed with coeliac disease. I'm now fatter & fuller as my gut has healed and I am absorbing nutrients. Problems with milk are common with gut issues too.

I agree with Morris that he needs to take responsibility and work out what he can change to make it more affordable.

No one needs to eat a bag of nuts a day. If you're going without, then so should he.
Forget the chicken wraps as well, he can have Value bread for a fraction of the price. If you are struggling financially then you really have to fill yourself up with what you can afford.

It's horrible to struggle making ends meet, I do sympathise but I'm surprised you can't make £100 cover a weekly food shop for 2 adults and a child.
I manage on that for 2 adults and 2 big teen boys. There are some great tips on here. I go for non branded foods and anything reduced or on offer. Our local poundshop also have a food aisle where you can make good savings.

I do have sympathies, when we realised that boyfriend just functions better without fast carbs (bread, pasta) our grocery bill did go up. You need to stop restricting food for yourself. So, other option is try to make his food cheaper. Having more time gives you some options.

Fat helps with satiety, as does slower carbs like wholemeal products, intact grains and beans. Although if he does have ibs these might be tricky.

So for breakfast I would go for the flapjack. Porridge with water goes right through me and I’m hungry half an hour later. It doesn’t have to be breakfast food really, but something breakfast. For you, eggs are great: cheap filling and versatile. Also you could try breakfast muffins - google vegan recipes. Some will be expensive ingredients, others less so (banana in place of eggs is cheaper than chia etc). If you’ve got some more time you can make a large batch and freeze.

Lunch: wraps aren’t filling enough. We have a bread maker and do wholemeal bread. You can also do by hand if you can be around for the rise, knock back etc it’s not so much the actual work but the having to come back to it. Have a look at tuna mayo - you can get vegan mayo and don’t have to use loads of it. Can he deal with goats and sheep milk? In which case goats cheese can sometimes be reasonable value, especially in places like Aldi. Load up sandwiches with veg, grated carrot etc. Hummus is also a good sandwich option, use like mayo with smaller bits of protein like ham to boost the fat and slow carb option.

I agree with pp, pad with lentils to help with slower carbs.

Inspiration sources for recipes:

Budgetbytes (American but there’s a bean chilli cornbread skillet that’s a staple and some great stews)
A girl called jack
Cheap and good - free pdf cookbook. Again American but some good ideas in there.www.leannebrown.com/cookbooks/

Cut out the meat and the nuts. They are expensive and you get plenty of protein in a normal diet. Instead, switch to veggie diet with large qualities of calorie-rich, cheap carbs: potato, pasta, rice. Cook things like vegetable stews, curries, where you can make a huge cauldron-full to last several days with the cheapest veg from Aldi and Lidl and serve with a large side of cheap carbs.

OP i appreciate that some people on here are a little tctless in hteir approach, but in the nicest possible way, i think you are missing their (valid) points...

Ham salad wraps and bags of nuts are expensive. There are literally hundreds of cheaper foods so your husband will be able to find something cheaper that fills him if he puts his mind to it.

Potatoes, oats, pasta, brown rice and peanut butter are being mentioned a lot - all of these are avaiable in bulk at lower prices, unlike salad and ham.

I would also suggest finding a market on a weekend if possible - the one near me does big bowls of vegetables for a quid.

Oh and nix to the almonds. Too expensive. Mix peanuts with raisins, that’s a fave of ours.

Boiling your own ham is probably cheaper than buying sliced from supermarket.
Lots of soups and stews in the slow cooker. Yes to potatoes in any shape or form and pearl barley, pulses and beans. Also yes to porridge. Try a bowl of cereal to fill up at any time of the day (obviously shop around). I used to mix cereal with natural yoghurt to make a filling snack.

I've just costed it for him you on Tesco.

100g of their cheapest wholemeal bread is 231 kcal and costs just 0.5p.
100g of their cheapest nuts is 645 kcal and costs 24p.
So paying for high calorie but expensive foods like nuts is much more expensive than just eating more of the cheap, medium calorie foods.
A jar of peanut butter is 21p per 100g (628kcal) in terms of a tasty filling. Nearly as expensive as the nuts, but much less of it needed.

For £1 per day he could have a whole loaf of bread and half a jar of peanut butter or similar, and take those sandwiches into work. That would be over 2000 calories.

It's expensive at present because he's wanting expensive options. Not because of his calorie intake.

But, more important than anything, so I'm going to bang on about it - please tell him to go to the GP if he hasn't recently.

Foods that are very cheap in Aldi - tinned spaghetti, mushy peas, cheap pasta, cheap rice, bread, eggs, potatoes (big sacks), carrots, broccoli, lentils, oats, soup, cheap sausages, mince, flour, frozen veg and fruit.

If you try and make a lot of your meals using these ingredients then you will save a bit of money. You don't have to make every meal extremely healthy, add fat where you can to fill up.

Second iceland for cheap meat but you are.going to have to sit down and get him to see that what he is eating currently is not sustainable. If he cant have dairy and doesnt want soy then he doesnt have milk its not needed. Neither are expensive things like almonds. Ive just done a weeks shop for 2 adults one who is on slimming world. 2 teens 1 fussy asd boy with hollow legs a toddler and a cat for 106 from morrissons. That is all in, toiletries, cat food etc and its good cooking from scratch food. True there are a lot of carrots involved but at 50p a kilo needs must. He has to adjust expectations get him to do a weekly shop online and see what his thoughts are.

You can get a massive bag of peanuts in Lidl/Aldi for about 40p. One packet would have about 1000 calories I'd say.
I shop at morrisons and buy the 3 for £10 meat deals. Typically, a bacon joint (you'd get two big dinners and loads of sandwiches with what's leftover the following day), a chicken and four pork chops.
Spend £20 and you could get the above and then maybe a lb of mince, diced beef for a stew, and 5 british pork shoulder steaks. That's 20 quid. A weeks worth of meat.
Potatoes, rice, spaghetti. 20pence for spaghetti in Morrisons I think.
Carrots, cabbage, swede, onions.
Buy cheap yoghurt (the big tubs) and mix in cheap muesli.
Bananas and apples are cheap.
Kidney beans, tinned tomatoes, chickpeas.
Sausages.
Bread baguettes (massive amounts of calories).

No idea what you're spending your money on.
I'd feed the hungry hector for £50 a week.

I think he should start eating a breakfast (or maybe having it at morning break time if he can;t do first thing) and it should have some protein in it.e.g Peanut butter sandwiches.

do you eat chicken / - That's reasonably cheap, you can make a good thick chicken and veg soup and bulk it out with pasta. Could he take that in a flask for work.

You must be tired trying to cook special filling meals on a budget and being pregnant + toddler. Can you make batches of soup, chilli, etc and freeze them? How about adding a baked potato as a side onto all his food, or ifhe has a microwave at work he could take in potato and cook it then add baked beans or tuna maybe - for a filling protein meal.

Please don't go without yourself, you will get ill, go to the citizens advice, find out if there is any extra help available for you.

All these people saying OP's DH has to eat breakfast - some people just can't. I would vomit if I had to eat a big bowl of porridge before 10am - honestly! BUT what he can do is take one ham wrap and a jar of overnight oats for his lunch. Or porridge to reheat at work. No rule that says you can't have porridge for lunch. Or an oat smoothie if you have a blender. Chuck some porridge oats in with your mince - they soak up the juices and you can't tell they're there. Seriously. Tesco value oats are the way forward.

Also, there is always cheap cheddar and cucumbers are about 50p. Cheap ham, cheap tomatoes.

Don't know what the hell you're feeding him. Honestly.

Ditto, I don’t ‘do’ breakfast but I do have porridge for lunch

Puddingpen - thats' why I suggested morning break if he gets one - my DD couldn;t eat breakfast early, but she took something to school and ate it at break. Overnight until lunchtime is too long to go without food.

Baked potatoes always fill up my husband and ever-hungry teenagers: a sack of baking potatoes is pretty cheap in Aldi or Lidl, and he could eat 4 or 5 at a meal if necessary. Aldi beans are 25p a tin so for under £2 that's one very filling meal. You could serve baked potatoes with every meal you make so he fills up on those.

For lunches buy the thickest sliced bread you can find and send him with several rounds of sandwiches with ham, or peanut butter. Or cold pasta for lunch to take to work; make a sauce out of onions, a tin of chopped tomatoes, various herbs and spices etc.

Even buy a cheap £1 pizza and some mozzarella. Slice it over the pizza. Tastes gorgeous.

Just a personal note but I love on these threads you always get porridge fans, and I never understand it! Even when I make it with whole milk and add nuts, I’m still hungry a couple of hours later. Equally, even at height of skintness I would.not eat value bread. I compromised in other areas and made my own. It’s been documented that satiety is improved by appetising food, so I think it’s a false economy to suggest going completely bare bones if the problem is he’s always hungry.

Ham wraps aren’t ‘luxury’. They’re just easy, and you can get more bang for your buck by using different ingredients.

Point being, op needs to eat and involve husband in plans. There’s a couple of ways to crack this problem however and it doesn’t have to be just eating low quality foods. For ref, we spend around £200 a month on groceries for 2 adults.

We have a butchers in the city centre that does trays of meat for £5 each tray has enough for at least 2 meals. More if you cook it up slow cookers style with lots of veg or beans.

I've also heard really good things about the quality and price of meat from this place www.musclefood.com/bundles/variety-packs.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIybmWsce71wIVT5PtCh1idwCbEAAYAiAAEgI1dvD_BwE

Second peanut butter instead of whole nuts for value, you can also get packs of nuts and fruit from the poundshop or wilko as treats.

This might have been mentioned before but... have you tried shopping in a cheaper supermarket? I mean Aldi or Lidl.