Can't afford to feed my husband

[Prusik]

Gah, the title sounds pathetic! Please don't rip me to pieces for the fact that he should be feeding himself but it's the simplest summary I can give.

DH is 6ft7 and skinny. He eats a lot to maintain his weight. He's both milk and egg free (milk is allergy, egg is intolerance as his gut tends to get inflamed). He also tries to avoid sugar as he was finding he was getting major energy slumps during the day and reaching for sweets.

Ok, so here goes. I did the food shop last night and it was £100. Haven't bought any luxury items apart from I bought four cartons of supermarket brand apple juice and haven't yet bought meat for the week.

Try to fill him up on protein, ie nuts, chicken wraps, etc as empty carbs just don't seem to cut it. I rely on cheap meat where I can, we eat a lot of mince. And I bulk things out with cheap veg and potatoes. We cook chilli with beans, pulses, etc and I make my own humous as that's a good fix and so much cheaper than the supermarkets.

I'm just at my wit's end. For various reasons we're now at the arse end of poor. We're going down to one vehicle and are really struggling. We don't buy coffees out, don't go anywhere which costs parking... everything we do is free. But I'm still struggling to afford to feed DH. I do buy fruit in for the baby and am starting to cut corners with what I eat just so DH and Ds can be fed. I'm not going without but will just have jam on toast for lunch rather than anything better as I don't want to use food up. This is far from ideal as I'm 28 weeks pregnant change in circumstances happened after I conceived

We get tax credits and child benefit.

Any tips for feeding a very hungry person on the cheap?? He's not greedy, he genuinely needs the food. ds is beginning to look like he will be the same

Now if the above doesn't feed the fucker, nothing will.

Buy a smoked ham hough (most supermarkets do them or the butcher)
Use it as the base for a big ass pot of lentil soup - boil it for about a 2 hours and it gives you an amazing stock.
I make my lentil soup with red lentils, swede, leeks and a tonne of carrots.
You can then pull all the meat off the boiled hough and use it in a baguette to go with the soup. It’s delicious, filling and cheap.

Fill him up on complex carbs e.g. wholemeal pasta, rice, lentils etc. This will give him more energy without the sugar slump. Cheap too.

I'm.making him soup because someone on this thread said to.make.lentil.soup. it's hardly taken me any time at all and is bubbling away already. We have nothing for lunch.tomorrow and now that's sorted. Plus it gave me a craving for lentil soup.

Yes i am pregnant and struggling but often i sit down when dh comes home.from.work and he takes over. He doesn't sit down till half nine most nights. I'm not prepared to ask him to do any more than he's already doing.

I really need to go spend.some time.with Ds. Thank you all for the helpful advice and the pasting

I agree with other posts. He needs more stodgy foods and carbs. Add beans, lentils or barley to casaroles, stews and bakes. Have bread not wraps. Snack on crackers. Nuts are good but you can't afford them. And shop in Lidl.

Just to echo others' advice to get him to the GP and get coeliac/hyperthyroid ruled out.

Op, he doesn’t get to eat more food than everyone else and leave you without just because he works hard .

It sounds like you really do need to have a conversation with your DH about food. Not necessarily fessing up to the jam sandwiches if you think he would be appalled and guilty and it would start things on the wrong foot, but just raise the concept of your food budget and meal planning. To address the costs and the sort and amounts of food you're buying. Maybe if you actually do a full weekly food plan along with your list - including lunches for both him and you, and then when you shop you would have food "allocated" to you.

Yeah I don't the point of buying a breadmaker either. If the OP really wants to make her own bread she can do it by hand. Not sure if the price is comparable to supermarket prices though.

To be honest most things I'd suggest you're already doing really, like eating lots of pulses.

Cook everything in a lot of oil or get him to put it on his salads/veggies - you can get a big bottle of olive oil cheap at aldi/lidl
Wraps are expensive if you eat 4 at a time! - buy bread from bakery or shop instead
You can get a kilo of plain no palm oil peanut butter from Meridian for about £5-6 often on special offer. PB sandwiches much more filling than ham (and cheaper). Ditch the ham.
Jacket potato with beans and hummus is a cheap and filling meal

I'd also be interested to see where you were shopping, as that sounds like an awful lot. We do our weekly shop minus meat/fish in Lidl for max £60, usually more like £40. DH is 6'4 and also skinny plus we don't have dairy. We bulk buy stuff we can't get there once a month which prob costs an extra £60.

Without getting into the other issues, please do try oat milk porridge for breakfast for all of you - just as nice as with cows milk, dairy free, and double oats so very filling!
Or if he really doesn’t ‘do’ breakfast he could have it as a late snack to fill him up after dinner.

Also 4 litres of apple juice a week won't do your teeth or stomach much good OP, could you dilute it half with water (and spend the money saved on some more food!)

OP, baked potatoes can be put hot into a thermos flask and should stay hot for a few hours. Does he have microwave access at work? He could heat up a tin of beans or a tub of chilli

He needs to eat breakfast whether he likes to or not
He should come and do the shop with you so you can look for alternatives together
You need to eat and he needs to understand the current spend is not going far enough

I do find porridge very good for keeping me full for longer. Could try it with fruit?

Make big batches of dhal, it's mainly lentils - dh can have it with lunch and dinner as filler. Have porridge or savoury flapjack in the morning and before bed. Wraps are crap - they are in no way filling.

Op, your DH needs to eat breakfast. It doesn't have to be before he goes to work perhaps he could have a snack around 10am? Skipping breakfast makes it far more likely he will overeat at lunchtime.

Being short of money is always stressful and I hope your circumstances improve very quickly

Have you tried wholemeal pitta breads? They are pretty much my staple for lunch these days. I get a pack of 6 for 49p from aldi and I find them much more filling than anything else for lunch. I usually have two for lunch with a variety of fillings.

Also second oats and potatoes porridge, flapjack, things like jacket potatoes with beans or tuna mayo, sweetcorn, and salad, leek and potato soup with wholemeal bread is very filling.

Rice is also very cheap, I buy the value bag for 40p a kg from tesco. I can get a good fee meals from that. Risotto too though slightly more expensive the regular rice I find it very filling. I do a chicken one with two breasts one courgette and red pepper, this serves 2 adults two dc, though could easily be bulked out with a few extra bits of veg.

We get most of our chicken from local butcher better quality and cheaper than supermarkets. We buy veg in the supermarkets though, I find it's generally more expensive in the greengrocers unless I'm buying in bulk which doesn't really work for veg in our house.

Peanut butter is relatively cheap if you go for an own brand. It's also very calorific and nutritious.

Not sure why so many people are recommending things like butter, cheese and yogurt? Presumably none of those are an option for someone with a milk allergy?

On the ibs front have you looked at low fodmap as it may be more than the eggs that are an issue for his gut? I was put on this by an nhs dietician as I have coeliac disease and chronic ibs it’s horrific. It’s really restrictive but it’s crazy what can set you over the edge from mushrooms, garlic, onions, Brussels sprouts to and a few things.

You could try upping his healthy fats with olive oil and butter he might’ve able to tolerate as some with dairy allergies can it depends on wether is the lactose or the milk protein itself (I think). Don’t buy lean meats as the lack of fat will be leaving him hungry.

The suggestions of beans, pulses and lentils as a padding could cause him more gut issues btw.

I'll.see if I can pull up my receipt when Ds is down for a nap. i'm getting paranoid that I've added chicken to my shop now and am going to be told off by the mn masses!!

I won't drink all of the Apple Juice this.week. probably one carton. Mostly bought it so I could make Ds some flapjacks (although forgot to buy more oats).

My soup is smelling good - might have some for lunch when Ds is napping!

Pretty sure his issue is the milk protein. Not 100% sure. My issue is with the milk protein, same with Ds. Hoping Ds will grow out of it and that it doesn't impact our second ds

I'm actually shocked that you will prioritise your DH being hungry over your own health and your unborn baby. I understand if you haven't told him that you are going without but why do you see his hunger as more important than energy and vitamins for your pregnancy.

He needs to eat breakfast. No wonder lunch is so big and expensive if he is skipping an important meal.

I hope he would be shocked at what you are doing.

I agree with others about Pulses to bulk out meals.
Morrisons do a great range of Wonky veg, which is cheaper than uniform veg, I get the carrots which are 35p for a 1kg bag, Potatoes are £1 for a 2.5kg bag, morrisons baking potatoes are 4 for 50p.

I buy the frozen chicken you get two 700g bags for £5, I bulk buy this and cook a packet, season it and put it in an airtight container, and use this for wholewheat wraps and salads for DPs lunches (he eats a lot due to gym workouts)

Wholemeal bread is a better choice as is brown rice and pasta, bulgar wheat and quinoa make lunches more interesting.

Get higher fat content mince, it's cheaper and sounds like your DH needs it.

Oat milk is very nice and Is a good alternative to Almond milk, Porridge for breakfast can be made in the microwave in 2 minutes, add some frozen berries to it, honey, cinnamon, a seed mix etc there are so many things you can do with porridge.