Hi everyone
I too got a letter and found yr site about it. So hear goes. Letter said I was married to my brother!! I live with my dad rang & told them this said it was all okay then another letter saying they want to see my bank statements. So I am sending them a letter stating that
a) I want a full & detailed explanation as to how they arrived at this conclusion
b) Copies of any "evidence" they say they may have
c) (If no answer to Q2) then I will state that they are merely fishing and cannot accuse wthout proof.
d) If they can't answer, refuse etc then I will state that I will not comply with them and tell them to take me to court!!
I refuse to be intimidated by some two bit company. After reading the court case I think that any judge would be on my side.
I know this is a serious & distressing letter for most of you on here but I hope the letter I wish I could send will make you all smile and give you a laugh at their expense. Please feel free to use it as a template!
DEar Mr Moneygrabbing lowlife,
Re your letter asking if I was living with a man well the answer is definetley not, can't seem to find a decent one anywhere. I should alsol ike to point out that the only man I live with is my father, are you suggesting we are in an incestuous relationship, if so I will sue you. I am not supported by anyone,but the butcher did put a chop in my parcel when I bought 2 sausages as he thinks I look too thin (no money to buy loadsof food) I am quite happy to repay that support (although the chop has gone a funny green colour as I couldn't cook it last week as no money to put in the gas meter)
Also why do you need my bank statements & bills as this will neither prove/disprove the above. It will just show you my spending habits. For example the false eyelashes I bought for a night on the town, didn't manage to bag a fella so they don't seem to work, nor the women's hygiene product it said on the telly it was made with wings now but I still couldn't fly. As to my phone bill I will just point out that those chat lines are my dad's he's trying to find a woman too. Oh and the vet I keep ringing it's cause the cat keeps vomiting I think it is drinking my dad's water but Vet said his breath smelt funny, the cat's not my dads.
Anyway show me your evidence and I will send you my documents. And if these don't satisfy you I am quite happy to let you either put me under 24 hour survelliance (always wanted to do that like on the telly) or you can come and poke around under the bed (maybe not too much fluff) or in the loft to see if you can find a fella. (If you do can I keep him).
Thank you for wasting my time and look forward to hearing from you when you have the time
Yours most unhappy
Mrs Feduptothebackteeth
Ps You notice I haven't put any kisses on but I'd hate you to think that I was having a relationship with anyone in your department.
Let them deal with that letter!!!I will be more ous in future but I just couldn't resist that.