Debt mutual support thread number 5 .... the light at the end of the tunnel is NOT an oncoming train

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from the last four threads in the series, the most recent of which is here.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/a2142758-Debt-mutual-support-thread-number-4-every-journey-starts-with-the-hardest-first-step

We live in a society that makes it incredibly easy to get into debt but makes it incredibly hard to admit you have a problem and even harder to get out of debt.
The posters on threads are here to help people get to where they want to be.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.
The long term results for you, your marriage and your children are worth it.

Hello all,

I'm having a good week so far money wise... spent all of £55 at aldi and got most of the weeks shopping.

I did go into town yesterday and spent £21 in mothercare but that was budgeted for and ds badly needed some new clothes - he's had a growth spurt and his jeans are becoming too tight. I've been looking on ebay but haven't seen any much cheaper than buying them new in the sale so pleased with my bargains.

I've put dd on to giffgaff with her phone so for £7.50 a month she will get unlimited texts and 200 mins calls so hopefully that will sort her out and I won't have to keep topping her up!

I've just got to see how well I can budget before my next lot of money comes along on the 10th (£200) and if I don't need to use that to pay anything off than I can split that in half towards the cc and overdraft.... fingers crossed no disasters between now and then! !

I hope we can put off putting the heating on til after half term too.
It's quite unseasonably warm ATM so might work...
Dc have slipper socks, and dressing gowns. And we have blankets :)
Need to get some bread later. And more apples...the ones Dh got are rank :(

I idly checked my PayPal account today thinking I had £27 on it - but it was £48 (must have been on there for ages). So nearly £50 off my overdraft today.

My friend has recommended me a jeweller in Hatton Gardens (jewellery quarter) which gives a good price for gold, so going to take some of my DM's old jewellery this weekend.

trainers I did that last year and got over £400 for stuff I never wore.

Does anyone know about selling jewellery? I have 2 rings that were my grandma's, I'm thinking of selling them to put towards my debt, but I don't want to just sell them for the gold, as they have diamonds/sapphires in them. I mean, I don't just want to take them somewhere where they weigh them and value them just that way.

carrie
take them to the most old fashioned jeweller in the poshest area near you (for me its Winchester High street) and ask them whether
a) they would give you a good price
b) they know who would
c) if they are woth auctioning, when and where would be best

I have a painting I keep meaning to sell but the best market is in Kent !

Just balance transferred Next Acc. & M&S card (2k- ish) onto low interest for the life of balance at 6.5%.

So not decrease in outgoings month on month but will save us interest.

I have been in Aldi today just to look. I'm going to buy my fruit veg there this week. I like the price of strawberrys and blueberries. My usual pack of peppers 25p cheaper too.

I spent all day in town with my DD 9-3 and only spent £5 inc lunch plus drinks. Parked for free. Got DD to park and story time too. So a bargain I think.

Hi there Moneyone
Welcome back and thank you for bringing us up to speed

Laptop : do you need a Macbook? Really? What do you do on it that could not be done on a £300 Tosh laptop.

Car : how many miles do you do .... have you looked around as second hand dealers are VERY willing to haggle
or even on Ebay

and yes, changing the house you have is a common option at the moment : our work years ago cost a fortune but was definitely money well spent.

money it's interesting how many people are starting to abandon the upgrade idea. I've always wanted a big house with a big garden in the country, and it might be possible in a few years. However, am starting to think it is more practical to stay where we are in our 3 bed semi and get some extension work done instead. We won't be doing this for a while yet, but I think we've given up on the idea of a move.

I'd still like my farmhouse; unfortunately DH doesn't drive and DD is Aspie approaching uni age, so we will need to be near good transport links. Pffttt!!

Do you do the coin sweep every day?

Kinky, money - we don't own yet, but we're planning to try and lower the mortgage (if we ever get one!) by buying a smaller, cheaper, possibly fairly battered house and then doing it up/extending it as needed over about 10-15 years.

I have to live in school in term time anyway, so we could buy something and do it up room by room, at least while I am in this job.

Kinky Money and Peonies - that is exactly the kind of thinking behind some of those links I posted re minimalism - its about living with what you need rather than what is commercially dictated to use. Living for your passions and intentionally. Letting go of 'more/bigger is better' metality. The ethos has a strong focus on experience and relationships and not on consumption (obviously after basic needs are met). Let go of comparing and aspiring to what we think we should chasing - counterculture folks A by product is the financial savings. I'm not there yet as I do like my clothes and have resisted so far - twice putting things back at till! If them dam kids would stop growing I would have no reason to go in a shop!

We live in a 3 bed semi in a good area, oustanding school on doorstep. I used to be always chasing when can we move to a big 4/5 bed detached (living for tomorrow in another life) looking, looking and comparing. Now I think we need somewhere a little bigger but not as bog as I was looking at and if we have to stay here it is by no means the disaster. Our plan is to pay this down very low before we move - we may keep it (as retirement investment???)

Another dream house dreamer here too...or at least I was lol I was a FTB at ripe old age of 44. Thankfully I chose not to over extend myself with one of the brand spanking big new houses in the village (though I was a near permanent fixture in the show houses for some weeks lol). Instead I opted for a 2 bed ex Council right at school gates. Corner plot so huge garden all the way round. Needs masses of work but I'm found that in conjunction with paying down debt. Everytime I pay something off, I 'treat' myself with a month of debt overpayment to do something with the house ...

big big houses are hard to sell anyway - smaller midway ladder types are always in demand so makes financial sense! You can kit it out cheaper and its easier to maintain and clean etc. Think of all the reduction in financial pressure and the extra holidays/experiences.

I still gawp at the mahoosive houses (1 to 2 million houses) less than half a mile away from me, but then shudder to think of the gardening costs/roof tiles/chimney stacks.

Definately do not buy a big 5/6 bed house!
My sis and bil did this - albeit at the height of the market - and they are now stuck :(
A nice 3/4 bed semi or detached is the way to go :)

Yes thanks for that badvoc I think at our age/stage of life I want to be paying down. We could 'afford' (debt aside as that will be paid off) a large house based on income. I think it would be a mistake. I've now started to quietly look at other 3 bed semis but ones that have a little more space in terms of room size/layout to enable privacy (thinking when kids are teens!). Ones that can be done up or extended we we are ready if needed.....

....Opposed to the stinkingly priced new build double fronted jobs (not that they are bad or wrong, just realised they are not for us -so no offence meant). This is because even though we want o buy a little bigger we still want to be paying mortgage off by the time we are 55 not 70!

My mortgage finishes in 11 days.
It would have been done ages ago but we put a mahoosive extension on this house 6 years ago, giving us 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, 2 living rooms, kitchen diner, my office, loft space, DH's cave and my lovely big garden.
I do not like the area (read the roastings I get on education threads about not using my local school)
BUT its near the motorways and the bus routes and I can walk to my gym.
When the kids leave home we might move - more land but not more house
and it will be bought cash.

Its about thinking what you actually want privately for yourself rather than to impress others.

PS : house is a 1930's semi. Very boring from the front. Not on the inside any more

God, we have 22 years to go! :(
We don't ever plan to move again though.
Hopefully in the future we can pay off chunks and lower the term but I can't see that happening any time soon.
Fact is pils and my mums money will go on care for them in future years.
There won't be anything left.
Although we have decided that Dh will take a lump sum from his pension when he turns 55...only 13 more years to go :)