Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

We're in a mess and I feel like I am drowning

173 replies

Miren · 04/09/2014 14:18

Due to unforseen -and very unfortunate- circumstances we find ourselves in an absolute mess WRT our finances.

We got to the point where we stupidly have relied on Wonga loans for the past couple of weeks to tide us over and now seem to be stuck in a vicious circle.

Our outgoings are stacking up and our income has been dramatically slashed.

We have 3 Dc who have just gone back to school and already subs for various things are stacking up.

I don't know what to do -I'm not coping very with it all Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Miren · 05/09/2014 16:56

Have I mentioned that we get 700 per month tax credits? I don't think I have... the 300 per week isn't all we have coming in. Also 190 child benefit.

OP posts:
rainbowinmyroom · 05/09/2014 16:57

Why on Earth are you thinking about saving £700/month when you have about £20k to clear first?

That is the kind of thinking that got you into this mess to begin with.

Right now, you are huge debts. You need to work on those first, preferably with Consumer Credit Counselling or the like (go to the moneysavingexpert site) and possibly an IVA, not thinking what your income might be in the future and/or savings.

Original poster
Miren · 05/09/2014 17:03

Sorry - I didn't word that very well, I meant if we can live on what we are earning now it means that once DH's wage goes back up there will be surplus that doesn't need to be spent like we have been doing.

I've been in touch with Step Change (said earlier in the thread) and have an appointment for next week

OP posts:
Original poster
Miren · 05/09/2014 17:04

"That is the kind of thinking that got you into this mess to begin with."

That's kind of what I was trying to say

OP posts:
Bearbehind · 05/09/2014 17:10

Really OP, you need to be more realistic- you've posted on here because you can't manage on your current income so thinking you'll be able to save any excess once your income goes up, is wildly optimistic.

Also, whilst I don't expect you to disclose all the details on here, it's not really clear what the link between expecting a large amount of money but not getting it and your husbands normal income dropping so drastically is. Surely they're not the same thing?

BrucieTheShark · 05/09/2014 17:11

One insurance company offered to cover cancellation costs if we switched to them. Car insurance I think it was.

So don't be put off by still being in contract for insurances, particularly if they are unnecessarily high - it's worth paying to get out and negotiating with new provider.

Original poster
Miren · 05/09/2014 17:15

Bearbehind- they are linked, but nit the same thing, no - I did say it was complicated!

Ok - forget I said that, it was more an observation

OP posts:
poorbuthappy · 05/09/2014 17:15

How long have has it been since your income dropped?

Bearbehind · 05/09/2014 17:19

Without giving away specifics, what do you think change and triple your DHs income in the future? Is it guaranteed?

rainbowinmyroom · 05/09/2014 17:30

Definitely work on getting a debt management plan in place first and foremost and go from there.

fuzzpig · 05/09/2014 17:59

Well done for getting a job. That's a great start

SuperScrimper · 05/09/2014 18:27

Why on earth would a family normally getting £4k a month get £700 in tax credits Shock

Original poster
Miren · 05/09/2014 20:08

Last year was not the same Super - they go on previous year

OP posts:
Original poster
Miren · 05/09/2014 20:08

It's very difficult to explain Bear, without being specific. But it will change.

OP posts:
Fairylea · 05/09/2014 20:11

So last year your income was very low as it is at the moment, but you are confident it's going to go back to £4k a month.....? Really?

I'm finding that a bit hard to fathom. I think if his income is so unpredictable you need to budget your life based on his lowest predictable income (as it is now) and consider anything over it a bonus - not to live up to that amount permanently.

Bearbehind · 05/09/2014 20:13

Obviously only you know the ins and outs of the situation miren but you've ended up where you are based on something that didn't actually materialise. Don't make the same mistake twice.

It sounds a lot like you want to wing it until things get back to normal. If they don't get back to normal then you'll be in an even worse position than now.

Explore all the options, including bankruptcy etc and do what's right for you now not what's right based on what you hope will happen.

TheHouseatWhoCorner · 05/09/2014 20:17

I strongly urge you to get proper budgeting advice.

But first you need to deal with your current situation.

Brilliant that you've got an appt next week and that you've got a job lined up.

treadheavily · 05/09/2014 20:29

OP try to set aside any "maybe" income i.e. the windfall you were expecting and your husband's earnings going up.

Assume that what is coming in now is what you have to manage on indefinitely. If it does go up in future, great, but you are going to need it to clear debt. So realistically you need to get by on actual income.

Income per month
1200 husband
350 you
700 tax credits
190 child benefit
2440 TOTAL

Does this sound right?

And monthly outgoings listed above

$2234

Excluding food, clothes and all credit cards, store cards

V v good for securing work, a very positive step
And for your appt with stepchange.

You are starting to make important changes and this is how you will climb out of the mess.

You don't need me to tell you that the swimming lessons have to stop. You know this.and you also know that your kids will be infinitely better off with a home and food and less stressed parents than all the swimming lessons in the world.

You are probably looking at 2-3 years of frugality to clear debt and get back on your feet. And it will be worth every grey hair. You will gain more control and confidence, and possibly life will be simpler. And the feeling of achievement when you are back on top will be fantastic.

Hang in there, you can fix this.

Original poster
Miren · 05/09/2014 20:31

Bearbehind - absolutly not going to make the same mistake twice. I'm seeing this as long term. My remark about extra cash when money goes back up was purely the first step in me realising if we have extra cash it doesn't = spend. Now it means sort yourselves out and grow up!

The job issue is very loosley based on a bonus contract going wrong. There is more too it than that, but basically DH is essentially paying for someone else's fraud mistake. In 6 months time he will be in a much more secure position

OP posts:
Original poster
Miren · 05/09/2014 20:33

Thank you treadheavily.

I'm hopeful that we will get some help with the rent and CT, so that will help.

I managed a £30 food shop today (meat in freezer from last week)

OP posts:
Didyouevah · 05/09/2014 20:57

Mirena come and join us on the debt free thread.

You need to be brutally honest with yourself about your standard of living.

I'm speaking as someone who has has crap thrown around and buried their head in the sand.

I'm not judging you but I recognised your username. A quick search revealed I recommended you take a shirt break to Croatia as your DH had promised you a trip away. I'm trying to be kind, but to be in such a shit position in such a relatively short space of time means that you've been sailing close to the wind for a long time with no contingency etc.

Please have a good think about seeking professional advice with regard to debts/spending. I really do mean this kindly and hope you take this in the spirit it's intended Thanks

TalkinPeace · 05/09/2014 21:36

Miren
I've skimmed the thread because you've been given rather a chewing over already.

You need to go to this thread first ....
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc
and check out all of your debts in the spreadsheets
THEN
you need to come and join this thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

please start at the beginning and learn the lessons before posting more

I know that sounds harsh, but I'm right
so suck it up and I'll help put you well on the right track

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 05/09/2014 22:05

Talkin - I am sure you mean well, but it's really not on to tell the OP not to post anymore until she has read your threads. Assuming you are the only one who can help her is somewhat arrogant don't you think?

Also, why have you made two links to the same thread?

TalkinPeace · 05/09/2014 22:07

cock up not conspiracy
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2142758-Debt-mutual-support-thread-number-4-every-journey-starts-with-the-hardest-first-step?
3600 posts on getting out of debt

Bearbehind · 06/09/2014 06:00

I know that sounds harsh, but I'm right so suck it up and I'll help put you well on the right track

OMFG- I can't believe how arrogant and sanctimonious that sounds (as do many of your posts on that link) You can't tell the OP not to post again until she's read all your advice Hmm

Yes the OP needs to be realistic about her situation and future income, but you are not the only person who can possibly help her.

OP, glad you're seeing this as long term, any extra income will help in the future but if you can sort your cost of living out so you can cover the basics whatever happens, you'll be in a much better position.