We're in a mess and I feel like I am drowning

[Miren]

Due to unforseen -and very unfortunate- circumstances we find ourselves in an absolute mess WRT our finances.

We got to the point where we stupidly have relied on Wonga loans for the past couple of weeks to tide us over and now seem to be stuck in a vicious circle.

Our outgoings are stacking up and our income has been dramatically slashed.

We have 3 Dc who have just gone back to school and already subs for various things are stacking up.

I don't know what to do -I'm not coping very with it all

Shoes make good money on Ebay.
I have hardly ever bought new clothes for any of us.You can buy designer labels and good quality clothes in charity shops or at car boot sales...even shoes which are virtually unworn. Most schools have second hand uniform sales.I offered to run ours and have always had first dibs on stuff coming in for my 3 !
Phone contracts are REALLY high.You don't need anything other than the ability to make emergency phonecalls as needed.....PAYGo is better although I have a £10 monthly contract with Talk Talk which is a text/calltime bundle.
We have made ourselves manage with one car which has saved lots of money but also left me quite isolated at times as we live in a village. Could your kids get to school on a bus. Why are your fuel costs so high?
I agree swimming is a luxury.Kids will get to swim with school and it is mandatory at primary so if you can't afford the contributions,school will cover it. You should not be paying for any school stuff on that income but will have to have a discussion with Head teacher about your situation and I agree that you should get free meals for the kids.
Are you getting your tax credits? Definitely need to check you are getting all the benefits you are entitled to.
Do either of you have any friends/relatives who might consider giving you an interest free loan?
Really hope you can get sorted soon.

If similar properties go for 1300 I wonder what kind of place you're living in... It sounds completely at odds with your income. I know what you're saying about the costs of moving but I think the only way you're going to stay above water long term to really try and move otherwise you are just going to keep sliding back into debt as it's unsustainable long term.

You need to dump the swimming lessons.

3 bed ex council house in the sticks with only a post box within walking distance. Nearest anything is 15 minute drive away.

I think you could get the food shop down to £50 if you meal plan very hard and bulk things out.

Drop some of the meat.
Bulk thing out with lentils etc
We do a lot of veggie pasta/rice dishes, as you can get a cheap filling meal from it.
Filling soups
Stew without the meat bulked out with lentils

I would also drop the orange juice in the mornings. Bad for teeth and there having enough sugar from the two pieces of fruit, yogurt, homemade granola and an ice cream. Or maybe swap the after school ice cream for some vegetables, carrot and cucumber sticks?

There are some really great threads around for meals on a budget, worth keeping an eye out for.

We live in cornwall, so an expensive place to live. You could rent a 3 bed here for £700ish. I would make the kids share.

Sorry x-post. See that they are already sharing.

£50 not really feasible for shopping for 5 if two boys eat like pre-teens/teens and the man has a manual job.

Nor is moving if you have shit credit.

If it's a 3bed then the boys already share.

Ditch the mobiles, swimming lessons, call Consumer Credit Counselling and hopefully things will pick up when you start getting paid.

The trouble is, we can come up with lots of idea for saving you little bits of money, but your outgoings are way over your income even without credit repayments. You need to get specialist advice, but cutting your food shopping a little bit is not going to be enough. You may need to consider both going onto a credit repayment plan and being evicted from your house to be rehoused as homeless. The gap is too large for you not to consider something radical.

I agree with Solomon.

Yes Solomon is right, this isn't going to be fixed without some big changes.

It can be done though OP. You really do need some professional advice with it all, to look at your options.

Being evicted and homeless in a rural area is a big, big risk, as there is usually very, very little HA housing and then you have to find another private let.

Soloman* sorry.

Solomon may indeed have the only option. You are in big, big trouble. All mobiles, swimming lessons, sky, mobiles, BT and your second car needs to go. Check your utilities can't be even cheaper, compare prices for your car insurance. I think your house and pet insurance may need to go completely. Sell everything you can spare on ebay: clothes, shoes, toys, any electronics. I know you have one job already, but can you get another one? If your boys are eating like adults: are they old enough to get part time jobs too?

I'm really really sorry, but there's no minor pain options here, it's going to have to be a radical change. You need professional advice, other posters have already stated the options CAB etc. good luck!

Definitely think everyone who can do any paid employment should. That will help.

I just wanted to say, that this will pass. I was in your position a few years ago and bloody hell was it hard. Your strong, your family are strong, and just focus on doing everything you can. I spent a lot of time getting annoyed/ angry/ upset with myself for getting in that position- but once I channelled that energy into working towards a solution it got ever so slightly easier.
There's a lot of really good advice here, also worth looking at the credit crunch section to cut food costs, and good housekeeping to cut cleaning etc bills, small things but make you feel like your getting there, which is really important as well..
Also, check out money saving expert, really good stuff on there.

I was also in this position, in fact your debt levels were small in comparison to mine. I'd agree that you need drastic action, but you need to do it with full knowledge of the facts. I have used Stepchange and would highly recommend following their advice. They recommended bankruptcy in my case, which was not all as bad as it appears and is not too restrictive these days. Far more effective than making lots of tiny changes to your housekeeping budget, which really is just a drop in the ocean compared to your level of debt.

I got evicted but have ended up with a lovely HA flat which is far more secure and with lower rent anyway, so it's worked out in the long run. Might be trickier for you being in a rural area, I had to give up my car but not a problem as I'm city based. Your drastic plan could even involve moving to somewhere less rural as it seems the cost of utilities/travel are higher there and it seems unsustainable.

Hi OP, sorry if anybody has already said it but you need to make sure that you are getting all the Tax Credits you are entitled to. If your husbands wage is averaging out at £300 per week you will definitely be entitled to Child Tax Credit and Working Tax Credit. For a family of 5 you will get some Housing Benefit and Council Tax reduction based on your husbands wage. Also you will get Child Benefit for each child. Go on to the Stepchange website and do an income and expenditure assessment. If you do not have enough money coming in each month after you have paid essentials, print out their Offer of Token Payment template letter and fill it in for each creditor. Send a copy of this along with copies of your income and expenditure assessment to each creditor with whom you have unsecured debt (credit cards,catalogues,overdrafts etc). The creditors may pass the debt on to an external debt collection agency. Do not panic. Resend income and expenditure letters to debt collection agency. They will accept your token payment (this can be as little as £1 per month) until your financial situation improves. You may incur defaults during this process which will sit on your credit file for up to 6 years but you will not go to court and no further action can be taken against you as long as you maintain your token payments.

do NOT cancel house insurance. As you are in a rental you only need contents insurance; what you are paying is 3 times the going rate so get on to that.

pets; you may have to make a harsh decision here. They are useless mouths. (I know this will get me jumped on but it could come down to the pets or a roof over your head).

stop buying all adult clothes. I doubt you need any anyway.

and please forget retailmas. No sparkly tat this year. Your kids will just have to understand this.

I also concur that with work it WILL get better and wish you luck.

Also, do not stop paying your rent as if you get served with an eviction notice due to nonpayment of rent you will be classed as having made yourself voluntarily homeless and the council are not then obliged to house you.

Shop online if you can, saves petrol money and also you can see exactly what you are spending. I find Asda the cheapest and they have delivery slots costing as little as £2 or you can buy a monthly Delivery Pass for £8.

Good luck OP debt is a horrible thing but things will improve.

ps just saw you have a job to start soon - a BIG step in things getting better!

I think if your hubby is earning £300/week & your rent is £1050 then you probably need to move house to address this problem in the long term??
Well done for getting a job & being proactive & getting help

Dh usually earns 1000+ a week. He will do again - this is temporary

OP, I know you've said this is temporary but you also said you got into this mess by counting your chickens.....how sure are you that it is temporary?

If he is working less now due to an illness or just lack of work you can't be sure it will ever get back to where it was.

There is a huge gap between your income and outgoing and you really are going to have to make some tough choices. If your children have had swimming lessons since they were babies they surely don't still need

Sorry if this sounds harsh but unless you can 100% guarantee that this dip in your income is temporary then you are going to have to do much more than trim your grocery bill otherwise you're never going to get sorted.

You could survive a temporary reduction in salary that big if you had savings or even access to credit. Unfortunately you have neither and you also have debts you're unable to service. The sooner you can be realistic about your situation, the better your final situation will be.

We were due a large amount of money - but it never surfaced.

I'm committed now to changing our ways, and if we can survive this then it means once Dh's wage goes back up we will be able to save £700 per week. should have realised that months ago