We're in a mess and I feel like I am drowning

[Miren]

Due to unforseen -and very unfortunate- circumstances we find ourselves in an absolute mess WRT our finances.

We got to the point where we stupidly have relied on Wonga loans for the past couple of weeks to tide us over and now seem to be stuck in a vicious circle.

Our outgoings are stacking up and our income has been dramatically slashed.

We have 3 Dc who have just gone back to school and already subs for various things are stacking up.

I don't know what to do -I'm not coping very with it all

I think it's a bit extreme to suggest the op moves, if you live in an expensive area then you have to go quite a way to reduce rent significantly, and surely that would mean her husband and her being out of work?
Op, you will be entitled to housing benefit and perhaps some back pay. Good luck.

but if moving were feasible , perhaps to a cheaper less rural area or smaller house short term, then they may be less reliant on running 2 cars for school, work , activities, shopping etc and have more opportunities to work to cover lean times. It may not be op's free choice but sometimes needs must.

Moving may be the only sensible long term plan. It needs exploring. Lots of people have to move because they can't afford to stay in their current house due to a charge of circumstances or struggling with debt. It doesn't necessarily have to mean the ops dh has to leave his job- if his work is guaranteed then even moving 1 hour away so he has a commute could potentially knock £300 plus off their rent - less than the cost of the petrol if planned carefully.

It's a very different situation if you live in the south east, and I wouldn't move schools. Moving costs, and if renting, then they're not going to get anywhere with their income and credit rating. £1000 for 3 bed may be the going rate or cheap for a pretty large area depending on where you live. Any commute over an hour would add further strain.

But they can't afford to pay the rent. They're not in a situation where they can worry about schools or a commute or having a three bedroom house. They are on the verge of bankruptcy.

Exactly . Now is the time to review all outgoings and the largest will be rent and associated costs. Moving could have a positive knock on effect on CT, utilities, motoring. OP does not have the luxury of time in waiting for money to come back in, they are barely afloat . Better to move now while they still have credit history than wait.

The rent is £1000. That's extortionate for a family on an income like this. Sorry but it is. Especially where the income that has gone up and down very dramatically. Changing schools etc really doesn't matter when you are potentially facing bankruptcy and homelessness.

*excuse my horrid grammar there, trying to supervise 2 year old eating breakfast!

So well all move to Norfolk if op lives in the south east that's the going rate or cheap for a 3 bed house. You're not talkingabout moving but relocating. Other areas are cheaper, there's often less work opportunities where there's cheaper rent.
Moving somewhere where the rent is say £600/700 would mean moving a significant distance where commuting would not be feasible.

The family would be entitled to considerable housing benefit payments, probably more than they would save from moving miles away.

I'm not saying all move to norfolk.

I'm saying op needs to seriously consider where she could move to. Not necessarily relocating entirely but certainly considering this - her and her op could look for jobs in different areas and if something comes up they could relocate - they don't have a house to sell.

I did relocate from south London to norfolk, left a good job in London and initially just applied for anything and everything and ended up with a job working in a bakery! It was a leap of faith but we wanted a different life than the one we had.

It's obvious to most on this thread that op needs to consider the whole families lifestyle and their biggest outgoing is their rent.

*her and her dh.

3 bed houses in my town go for £900-1100 so I can understand the costs, sort of, but in the south east rural areas are more expensive than towns. In any case relocating is hideously expensive so a false economy for a family subsisting on wonga loans.
You need to be ruthless about trimming the fat. Don't pay sky again, cancel the contract when you can and arrange a repayment plan for the remaining fees. Buy a now tv box and pay £5 a month for the entertainment package.
Sell the handsets and buy cheap £10 handsets to use.
I'm going to disagree about swimming lessons, as you may lose the place if you cancel and when you can afford it again that would be a shame. Just contact them and try to negotiate a grace period to pay it.

But why move if they are entitled to benefits that will help them remain in their home and save them cash?
I

OP, is the house you are renting a 3 bedroom one? Are you in an area where you could take in say language students? You could put all the kids in one room for the short-term to enable you to be a host family. Just a thought. You'd just need a single bed for them and a desk to enable them to study.

Totally agree with fairylea- Niobe is saying the OP has to move only that it has to be considered.

They can't make ends meet at the moment so every option has to be explored - unfortunately they don't have the option of ruling out downsizing or relocating.

Relying on housing benefits to allow them to stay where they are is far from ideal. I know the OP said they'd qualify based on last years income but if there's been a period this year where her DH has been earning £4k a month they'd just be delaying the inevitable.

All the benefits in the world are not going to reduce the 17k owed unless there is a serious change of lifestyle, £1000 on rent is a lot of rent for someone who has that much debt and an unstable income - and although the op says the income is normally stable they obviously spent all of last year on a very low income - clear by the tax credits they are receiving this year. They could find themselves in that situation again.

I'm not preaching at all. I'm going through similar issues myself - we have ended up in debt due to a huge problem with our roof costing 5k we didn't have and then various other things we needed etc and now dh is unhappy at work. Everyone struggles in some way. It's just being very honest about what you can afford going forward and looking for a way to achieve a stability.

We have recently relocated here. Moving just cannot be an option for us - DC are settled at the school (eldest has anxiety issues, so moving school would be a huge set back for him) plus we are already in a 'cheap' property for this area. We are paying a 2 bed price for a 3 bed property. If we were to move there would be serious comprimises (change school, much smaller/run down property/1 hour + commute - DH already has a half hour commute) and all for a saving of £50-£75 per month. On top of that we'd have to find deposit and fees upfront. With our we'd also have to pay guarantor fees. I just can't see how it's feasible.

I've managed to ensure rent and all essential bills will be covered this month. My mum is covering swimming as we don't want them to loose their place (not a loan, she's just paid it) but it means we have 115 per week for food and diesel. My job is a half hour commute. Is it doable?

It sounds like you're being pretty sensible.
I'm not having a poo about moving somewhere cheaper, but sometimes it's just not that easy and doesn't save you that much in the long run. If you can get hb to ride you over and pay bills/debts then that's sensible until you're back on your feet.

If we were to move there would be serious comprimises

OP, there really is going to have to be serious compromises

£17k debt on your current income with 3 children isn't going to go away without some big changes.

A smaller more run down property might have to be part of the solution. I'm not saying moving is the only option but your current rent is virtually the whole of your DHs current income- something is going to have to give.

How many days a week is your job? A 30 minute drive each day for both you and your husband is going to eat a long way into your £115 a week budget

I meant having a pop not poo! Last message disappeared explaining this. Ha, oh dear I think I'm going to go for a little rest .

But serious consequences, including a huge financial outlay, to save us £50 a month?!

Bear - either 2/3 days, not been finalised yet. DH can get by on £30 a week. Probably the same for me. So 55 for food :/

We've been told we will be entitled to HB so hopefully we should see some money from that in a few weeks, as well as my wages at the end of the month so we only have a few weeks to manage on such a tight budget. We have a 30 day grace with the debts so can put that - temporarily- to the back of my mind