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Original poster

We're in a mess and I feel like I am drowning

173 replies

Miren · 04/09/2014 14:18

Due to unforseen -and very unfortunate- circumstances we find ourselves in an absolute mess WRT our finances.

We got to the point where we stupidly have relied on Wonga loans for the past couple of weeks to tide us over and now seem to be stuck in a vicious circle.

Our outgoings are stacking up and our income has been dramatically slashed.

We have 3 Dc who have just gone back to school and already subs for various things are stacking up.

I don't know what to do -I'm not coping very with it all Sad

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LumpySpacedPrincess · 04/09/2014 19:43

What can you sell on ebay? Our phone deal is £26 all in including fibre broadband. Could you just not call mobiles, text instead?

Original poster
Miren · 04/09/2014 20:28

Is Ebay still worth it? I have a bit of stuff I could sell...

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Original poster
Miren · 04/09/2014 20:29

DH needs a decent line for work really - he calls mobiles alot to secure work.

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Original poster
Miren · 05/09/2014 08:03

So today we received £460.

We have to pay our rent on the 15th, and will be getting another 500 (max) before then.

So taking rent out leaves us 10.

We have to pay 120 in insurance today else it will be cancelled.

I have to pay 25 Wonga.

Also 122 to swimming lessons.

Food is running out.

Arrrrrrrrrgggghh. WTF can I do?!

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Original poster
Miren · 05/09/2014 08:04

Ok...sell. is Ebay the best place?

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LIZS · 05/09/2014 08:09

You can't afford swimming lessons , sorry. Which insurance is it ? Priority bills are CT and rent, Stepchange will help you budget and decide who to pay or help negotiate terms. You (or dh if he has hours to fill) urgently need to get some form of local paid work , be it cleaning , dogwalking, babysitting, café/pub, shop work if only to get the likes of Wonga off your back asap. Would you qualify for a foodbank, are you a member of the church community?

raydown · 05/09/2014 08:18

Check you're getting all of the benefits that you're entitled to. I think citizens advice bureau can help you with this. Is there a food bank near you? Speak to the school about free school meals and anything you are supposed to pay them as these are usually only contributions and if you can't afford it then you shouldn't have to pay.

NovemberRainbow · 05/09/2014 09:02

I'm sorry, but I really think you need to drop every single luxury that you can ASAP. Rent needs to be priority or you will lose your home.

You are in so much debt things like
Swimming lessons
Full sky subscription
Expensive mobile phone contracts (you could at least drop yours, when possible)
Shopping in Next, etc
And running two cars all need to be considered a luxury, you are living beyond your means. You need to cut back and be frugal and find extra income.

You need to re-negotiate car insurance and contents insurance, both seem really high.

Can you or DH not work in somewhere like McDonald's/ pubs etc, lots of different shift patterns and easy to work around the kids.

What do you have to sell? Any unused furniture or electrical? Good quality women's and children's clothes can sell well, joules, boden and next do ok.

IrenetheQuaint · 05/09/2014 09:12

What is your total monthly income inc child benefit etc? It sounds like you're not bringing in enough to fund your basic living expenses, let alone any debt repayments. Hopefully one of the debt organizations will negotiate token payments with your creditors.

Then as well as cutting your expenditure to the absolute minimum you'll have to find ways of bringing in more money. Can you do any work from home? Night shifts?

Original poster
Miren · 05/09/2014 09:40

I'm not shopping at Next.

I have just secured some work. Start next week. 350 per month. But paid in arrears so will be paid end of the month.

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Original poster
Miren · 05/09/2014 09:41

The situation with DH work is complicated and I don't really want to give details as it will out me. It's unchangeable though.

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Original poster
Miren · 05/09/2014 09:42

Unchangable for the moment I should say.... it will improve, but for the next 6 months or so this will be it.

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IrenetheQuaint · 05/09/2014 09:44

Good for you on getting some work. Now go over your budget in detail to make sure your income covers your expenditure, and stick to it rigorously.

Original poster
Miren · 05/09/2014 09:46

Any tips on food shopping? I shop at Lidl

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Fairylea · 05/09/2014 09:52

Your rent seems extremely high for a family on a very low budget. If you're on a monthly contract that also seems extremely stressful. I'd be looking to move. Whereabouts in the UK are you? Could you consider moving a bit further out to make things cheaper? We live in south norfolk and rents on 2 / 3 bed properties range from 450-600 ish a month. Over 1000 seems very excessive unless you live in a city?

As others have said, you can't afford swimming lessons. Or any extra curricular activities actually. We are on a low income and neither of our dc do any. In fact all we are spending at the moment is food and essentials! We don't buy clothes unless they are literally falling apart and then we replace them from eBay / primark / tesco.

Could you consider care work? You might be able to get some shifts to fit around your littlest one being at nursery.

Fairylea · 05/09/2014 09:52

Sorry missed your post about finding work. Well done.

escape · 05/09/2014 09:52

You must cut your cloth though and it's doable, and it becomes second nature.
I had to 4 years ago . I might be the most boring woman in the world now, but t be honest, you just get used to it.
You can get your food bills down - is £175 you average weekly shop?

Original poster
Miren · 05/09/2014 09:53

"You are in so much debt things like
Swimming lessons
Full sky subscription
Expensive mobile phone contracts (you could at least drop yours, when possible)
Shopping in Next, etc
And running two cars all need to be considered a luxury, you are living beyond your means. You need to cut back and be frugal and find extra income."

Dh has a van, I have a car. We are rural, no public transport.
Not shopping at Next - or anywhere for that matter. I had started picking up cheap bits for Christmas, but I realise thus was stupid (although only 20 spent).
Sky is being cancelled next month- we are in contract.
Can't get out of or reduce mobile contracts for another year - I've tried!
I know re swim lessons, they've had them since they were babies though Sad

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escape · 05/09/2014 09:53

Also - moving house to a lower rent? an option...?

Original poster
Miren · 05/09/2014 09:57

175 is about average. Last couple of weeks it's averaged at 85 though. There's 5 of us, and two of my boys eat like adults.

Our rent is cheap in this area. We're rural because we can't afford the town prices. It's also underpriced for what it is - similar properties go for upwards of 1300. Even if there was cheaper we couldn't afford the moving costs and upfront fees and deposit (we have looked into it)

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NovemberRainbow · 05/09/2014 09:59

Sorry Miren, I didn't mean that in a bad way. I just meant you had mentioned that next/very etc, was part of the 17K debt.

That's great news that you found some work, that's a really good step.

I was only suggesting the one vehicle as we are rural and have to get by with one. DH has to just get up extra early and drop me to work before he goes etc.

Do you think you can bring your insurance down?

Contacting a food bank may be a good idea.

I can understand that moving right now may be very difficult as you would need deposits etc, but it would be a very wise move for when you can get the deposit together.

Fairylea · 05/09/2014 09:59

I also agree that car insurance is ridiculously high. Phone then and say you were away and it auto renewed. You may still be in the cooling off period if it was very recent. Haggle. My car insurance is £18 a month - third party fire and theft on a Renault megane 1.4 with 4 years no claims. (We can't afford comprehensive). I hardly ever use the car unless I literally have to. I'm a sahm and during the week I walk everywhere - we are very rural too, the only place near us is a small park and tesco. I just don't go anywhere! We spend about £20 a month in petrol on my car (dh doesn't have a car, he walks to work thankfully).

SolomanDaisy · 05/09/2014 10:01

At that price you must have good new phones. Sell them and get cheap handsets and use the money to pay off wonga.

It sounds like you may need to do something really radical like move area, because your outgoings are so different to your income.

Original poster
Miren · 05/09/2014 10:01

The kids have porridge with half milk half water with a glass of orange juice and some fruit. Packed lunch is leftovers in a thermos with a yoghurt, piece of fruit and homemade granola bar. They have a mini lidl ice cream when they get in from scool. Dinner is chilli, chicken and veg, stew, sausages and beans etc .

I don't buy squash, crisps or any chocolate bars etc.

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Original poster
Miren · 05/09/2014 10:05

That's a really good idea to sell the phones.... will get on that now.

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