Debt Number 3 : For those who feel they are drowning and want a way out

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then
SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.

pixiestix
WELL DONE
You have changed the way you think about spending.
That will stand you and your family in good stead for the rest of your life.

Pixie I was like this too. Using the cc to pay for my train fare to work the last week of each month; occurring big unauthorized over draft fines most months; making late payments for mobile phone and Next card most months: using the cc to pay them some months (robbing Peter to pay Paul!)

Unlike some others o the thread who are doing exceptionally well (and good for them - I find their updates genuinely inspiring) I haven't been able to pay especially large payments large amounts off my debt each month as I have little leeway with cash really - so just slightly over the minimum (between £5 and £10 extra on the CCs and £100 in the last month on OD which I will be able to increase to £200 a month next month) but it's still progress. And it's all with help from this thread. It's also because of this thread that I now have:

1. Proper spread sheets for budgeting;
2. Cancelled all unnecessary DDs;
3. Made myself be realistic about what I spend on food each month (it's £300 for four of us at Aldi - my plan of £260 was ridiculous);
4. Not booked a holiday that I can't afford this year (unlike every other year - my little ones are nearly 2 and 6 - trips to the park and the local beaches will be just fine)
5. Decided that my marking money will go on my OD and DH is completely on board with this.
6. Bought people birthday presents that I can actually afford (and you know what - they haven't told me they don't want to be friends with me anymore because I've only given them a pot plant or similar)

I'm not saying I've been an angel. I spent more in B&Q than I should have last week and over spent in Aldi two weeks ago. But I'm a million miles away from where I was in January.

TIP I bought a living lettuce in Aldi this morning and I've soaked it. I have a big pot full of compost outside (I somehow never got round to planting anything in it last year). At what point do I transfer the little lettuces to the big pot? Do they need to soak over night?

Me too. I have barely anything to put towards my debt, but I have worked out how much to budget each month and I know where I've been overspending. It's early days for me, I'm still waiting for dh's first full pay at the end of this month to make my first payments. But this thread is inspiring.

I just can't ever see us being able to have money left at thickens of the month...or to start saving
On paper we should be able to save about £200 per month...so why is it do hard in practise!!?

Thickens!?
The end of....

Talkin I know you're right about locking down the interest. Two years ago we moved most of our cc debt onto two v low interest cards at our credit union. Need to see whether we could transfer the rest. (True, student loans are different here. The interest on ours is very low and they are the bulk of our debt, so there's that at least.)

Chris I know what you mean. On paper we should be able to save more than we actually are. It feels like something always comes up, things that are not emergencies but are necessary. But I'm trying to think of that as part of budgeting/saving -- X amount for the things that "just come up," and really can't spend more than X. And I'm also trying to look hard at what "necessary" really is. Our bath towels are looking ratty. My parents came to visit and I really wanted to replace the towels so the house would be nice, etc. But that is not necessary. Getting a fan for the bedroom window so that we can delay using air conditioning, otoh., was to me necessary as the cost of the fan was much lower than the cost of an extra two months' air conditioning would be. And getting the fan meant that no matter what else "just comes up," it has to wait.

I am hoping to make new spreadsheets this weekend ... I think that will help me feel more in control/hopeful.

Golden congratulations to your husband!

Thanks Keats! We're chuffed to bits. It will be so much easier to budget now we have a steady salary.

Also, I know just what you and chris mean about things coming up which aren't emergencies but are 'necessary'. This week my DS needs a new water bottle for school as he lost his old one. His school shirts are looking a bit grotty I noticed this week and he'll need new sandals for the summer. I will try to ignore the shirts but I will have to get the other bits. Also our pillows have gone lumpy - they aren't comfy at all now and I've wanted to replace them for a couple if months. Emergency? Well of course not and they will cost me about £20 to replace I guess unless I go for super cheap. There always seems to be something.

I think it's about making sensible decisions. I can't send my child into school without a water bottle so that's a no brainer. Not having sandals for him will be a pain. But - I would normally pick up both these items in John Lewis but I shall be going to Asda or similar instead.

Also I think for me - I am making progress and that is what I need to focus on. It would be very unrealistic for us not to buy anything at all. I'm not going to be buying myself Chanel make up any time soon (which I would have happily put on CC last year) but I'm not going to kick myself too much for getting my son a pair if sandals.

Hi all

I haven't been on the thread for ages - been having to use DPs laptop and didn't want this to show on his history! On balance I've had a reasonable month.

On an average month, I have been paying off some debt, but then racking up more, averaging an extra £500 in debt each month. This month I got paid extra as I started a new job just before the start of the pay month, so got paid 5 weeks rather than 4.

Initially I thought, great I'll save the extra but I didn't manage that. But what I did manage was to stop spending when I'd spent my money. Which means at the end of this month, rather than adding £500 to my debt, I've paid off about £800.

Hello all, pixie and afterthought well done, big shift in attitude.
Have done a food shop, found some emergency frozen bread and milk and frubes for the week after (packed lunches) and am down to about 100 for the month. Eek. But, we have placed some things with an auction house, sold the clothes to a cash for clothes place and I have made progress with the loan.

MyGolden DS has been in greying shirts for a couple of weeks now. He will continue to be too!!!

DD is trying to deliberately lose things like her school shoes so I buy her new ones. I have made it clear I won't be replacing any school items so close to the end of the year unless there is a genuine emergency but obviously have budgeted new ones for September. Think she is starting to accept that!

Meant to add, just been looking at my budget for the month. Have 2 weeks until payday. I budget £40 petrol a week but didn't need to fill up last week. Will need to fill up now and possibly £20 next week but shouldn't need another £80 so hopefully there will be a surplus £20 to use for debts/saving. Need to so meal planner but have meat in the freezer so in theory I could save money on my food budget too. I'm also owed £65 and in theory shouldn't need to spend that so fingers crossed I can also use that for debt/saving. Need to buy 2 birthday presents and should have most of the money for that.

I've got a planned day out with some girls from work which will be about £100 (possibly £80 but I would prefer to over budget) for everything. I know it's a lot but I don't go out often. To save up for it I'm doing a "save the change" where I'm rounding down my accounts to the nearest even whole pound (if that makes sense?!). Got £10 so far. 6 weeks to save the rest. I don't even miss the odd little bits of money but they all add up!

Quiet few days here,mostly NSDs apart from fresh bread/milk. Payday on Friday so can get new carpet ordered going to revise food and petrol budget. Think I can get petrol down to 80pm and shopping to 250pm, that will save me 73pm. Next goal is the loan...I WILL be rid of that by Xmas!!

Golden sensible decisions, exactly. Totally agree.

I went through our budget last night and found that we should have $500 extra per month after essentials. Thought out what we could do with $500 per month -- put aside X monthly for vet bills (our dog is elderly so those are inevitable), X monthly for Christmas, X monthly for debt. Then I got up today and realized I had forgotten two line items, so no, we should have $340 left each month, not $500.

$500 was so much better that now I'm trying to think of ways to reduce the essentials. I doubt I can get us back up to $500 extra but it's sort of an interesting way to set a goal.

mygoldennotebook - I got some pillows from

ohl see packets

seed packets always have far too many seeds in, and most won't keep for next year. it's always worth finding someone else who loves gardening and do swaps.
and join www.allotment.org.uk for tips and advice.

sorry, webaddress has changed it's www.allotment-garden.org/ now

typically, when I thought I wasn't going to have to spend money, some git stole my phone from outside the cgurch this week! dh has got tons of old phones and I have a phone for work but none on my network so wiuld eitger have to pay to get unlocked or get a new phone. I am on contract so will wait until september to get a free new phone.
my phone company have blocked my old phone and are sending me a new sim with the same number, which really helps (work phone has no credit on it so it's on divert for call )

thanks to whoever (probably TiP, she has most of the good advice ) suggested local tip for garden furniture - 4 chairs, a table and loads of paving slabs for a £20 donation to charity.

Omg, yes to the manky uniforms! :)
Ds2 (5) does things to his uniform - I truly have no idea what he gets on them, but vanish, wonder cream and bio tex won't get it out :(
I got him 3 more polo shirts last week as he only had 2 decent ones left...not too bad, only £3 but it's drives me mad.
Any recommendations re school trousers btw?
I have always had next (they used to be the only ones who did the colour we needed!) but have now seen this colour in asda et al...any good?
I would rather pay a bit more and they last...
Don't have worry about shoes as pils buy them, thank god!
Asda do decent water bottles iirc. And cheap.
Got ds2s new lunch bag already (pirate themed) and that was v cheap too.
In other news....we took my (lovely) new extending dining table back to ikea today :( it had a minor flaw on the right hand leaf...and tbh I could have lived with it BUT we decided to take it back and it means I now have £100 giftcard and £80 back in my bank account. And that's a nice feeling.
It's the ikea sale next week and some stuff is 60% off so I will go and check that out.
Won't run to new sofas sadly :( but I do like a bargain! :)

The best water bottle mine have had was definitely asda. And that's comparing them with systemas.

No need to have lunch bags for us next year. Free school meals start for all infants. Yay!

mygolden
Lettuce : once its soggy, pull it out of the tray and tear it up : the seedlings (for that is what they are) will come apart into groups that you can pot up into anything available

I had great fun this afternoon with empty lemonade bottles : cut off the top and bottom : sunk into the ground they make excellent slug / beer traps (basics lager at Sainsburys = £1 for 4 cans)
and then the main bit cut into three "sleeves" which sink into the ground around seeds / seedlings
so I can slug pellet without killing my heghogs

MissAnnersley
Ain't the dump wonderful for furniture!
DH and I were highly amused that Buckingham Palace use those same green chairs - just new ones ... maybe I'm reusing royal chairs ... as are you

afterthought
what is your net balance ... as in are you paying off a bit more each month than you are using .....
could you switch your standing order to a bit over the minimum of your credit limit so it allows you to spend but still churns through the old stuff?

if you are anywhere near a wood, pine cones are excellent at keeping slugs off.

TiP does the lettuce then grow until its fullsized like in the shops?