Debt Number 3 : For those who feel they are drowning and want a way out

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then
SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.

It's been a week since I've taken control of my debts. And what a week. Being an idiot who got sucked into a payday loan nightmare at this point in the month I'd be doing sums and trying to borrow more money.

I've sent off all my stuff to Step Chsnge and I am in total charge of my money.

It's a really good feeling.

My tips (from bitter experience)have a contigency fund if you can. No Christmas/Birthday/Holiday/Day Out is ever worth sleepless nights wondering why you spent so much money. If your credit rating is shot and you can only get high interest credit - there is a reason for that. When debt is ruining your life - get help.

Wish I'd woken up years ago.

YY finest No Christmas/Birthday/Holiday/Day Out is ever worth sleepless nights wondering why you spent so much money

I second that! DH and I had a habit of going mad at Christmas, it was a vicious circle as each year we'd both feel we had to top the last year. it got to the stage where we were both spending a fortune we didn't even have, it sounds so stupid now. I'd rather not have a gift at all than be in debt.

I wish we'd got into debt over Christmas, at least then I'd have lots of lovely pressies to stroke

Only joking :)

Dp and I haven't spent more than about a fiver on each other in years, actually it's quite sad really. I was getting so resentful! Not this year though, oh no no no - this year we will be debt free and have a budget each and a little list to choose from

speaking as the lady who got wheel ramps and bottle jacks for two successive christmas presents, frivolity is underrated

BUT

the year we were having our house done, and we had NO money and were camping living in two rooms
DH and the kids went to the charity shops and checked the bric a brac sections - the WHOLE of my birthday fitted into one shoebox and cost around a fiver
BUT
the presents had such care and thought attached to each one that I still love them

DDs birthday party that year was a picnic in the woods as the house could not be used : party bags consisted of a "memory envelope" of things they found on the day
one of her friends recently found it and posted that it reduced her to tears - years later

money does not make things good
care and thought does

"memory envelope" sounds amazing!!! how lovely!!

moneyone
You are doing brilliantly.
And when the debts are gone, that money goes into building up savings so you get to enjoy the coming years.

Looks like I will have to use £500 of my overdraft this month At least I paid it off briefly.

We've had our mortgage provider on the phone already, asking how much we'll be able to pay off each month from our arrears.Dh hasn't had a full salary yet, as he only started mid May, so we have no idea yet

moneyone
I use the overpayment fund on my mortgage in exactly the same way ... the bank go potty as some months seven transactions flow through it !

kazza
Tell the twonks from the mortgage £50 in the first month and rising thereafter. which might just mean £50.50 then £51.00

Also we have received a recalculation of council tax now dh has started work and it is £30 more a month than expected. Looks like we'll have less than £200 per month to throw at our debt, we have over £3000 mortgage arrears to pay off, an overdraft to pay off asap as the costs have gone up and then our debt to chip away at. Luckily the interest is frozen on the cc debt. I also wanted to be able to put money aside for things like car repairs, vet costs, Christmas etc.

I feel really down today and just don't know how we will manage. Credit rating is very bad so can't downsize.

I will have to try and save money from our food budget of £400 per month for 3 of us and sometimes my son when he's in. We've been eating low carb for health and diet reasons, but can no longer afford that, so need to try and remember what we used to eat before we started low carbing.

Kazza
I posted on your grocery bill thread.
Your DH's dorito habit is neither low carb, nor healthy, nor economic.

Low carb need not be expensive so long as you avoid buying ANY processed foods
and pile your plates with in season veg and cheap cuts of meat.
The best carb to add back in to the diet is spuds - jacket potatoes are very cheap, very filling and very good for you.

marking place and will read up to date soon .

I know Talkin, I'm working on it, but we are both feeling quite down and have been comfort eating I'd tried to avoid that by not buying treats, but then when dh suggests something like chocolate or crisps or popcorn I can't resist. Anyway I know that's no excuse and a whole different topic. I'm just finding it difficult to combine cooking from scratch every day with working. I don't seem to be able to "make do" with something like omelette or soup or anything that isn't a full nal with meat and veg. I'm not sure if it's just the way I was brought up ... Dh is always starving and a big guy!

I need 2 minutes to myself to sit down and work out what my priorities are, but there's never enough time!

i All,

it's great to catch up and see how well some of you are doing, and for the others, I feel your pain! I havent updated in a couple of weeks, as not much seems to happen between paydays. I decided not to fix the roof of my convertible. It seems pointless to extend the debt period when we have worked this hard. I had a spendy week last week as had a couple of nights away, just in a budget hotel as had concert tickets for another city. To be honest, I needed the break. I didn't buy anything except a gift for my nephew's birthday, although DH bought a tshirt with his birthday money, and the Dcs spent their own saved up pocket money.

We had booked hotel and breakfast in advance, so nothing to pay there, just dinners out and a couple of drinks, offset by tesco clubcard vouchers.A grand time was had by all.

Payday happened, and I have managed £409 off my ccs, plus £185 car loan, and have reduced my total debtby £2.9%

New totals
cc1 £5297.54
Cc2 £0 - Paid off and account closef, woo hoo!
cc3 £3085.32
Cc4 £2394.48
Cc5 £1465.24

Plus outstanding car finance.

I am due a small pay rise this month, and dh will get a small bonus, which we've earmarked for a couple of days in London over dcs birthday. This will be cheap hotel, tesco clubcard meals out, BOGOF theme park, and zoo for dd bday. This will be the first year we've not been able to go on holiday, so this trip will do double duty as holiday/ birthday treat

Hello all,
Another one with a dh and a Doritos habit.
Well done wood on the payments off.

I have hit a massive low, we have out back pretty much all the inroads and dh has had to put work expenses on the cc we weren't touching. I just feel sick and fed up and resentful of spending any money at all. I don't want to pay any cards off when we get the inheritance because I feel it's pointless and will just go back on again, it's like I don't trust dh and that's ridiculous because I have access to all the accounts and I can see it's all funeral, work and food.

So bleak at the moment I probably shouldn't be posting. Sorry to be the gloomy old misery.

(((( Nerf ))))
If DHs expenses were purchases, no interest will be added till after the next payment date.
Can work reimburse him before that so that you can avoid any interest?
( remember that there is nothing inherently wrong with credit cards, just with letting them get out of control )

THe main thing, once your Dad's money comes through and with probate it could take many, many months is to close down each of the accounts as they are cleared and then get a brand new credit card with a low limit to start fresh.
And challenge yourselves never to get interest on it.

You are both feeling utterly drained at the moment.
Go to Lidl tomorrow and get a bottle of their £4 cava and pop it in the fridge and then at 7pm, celebrate the end of the week. Just because.
(but no doritos)

Blardy hell Tip I've almost fallen off my chair - permission to buy alcohol!

You are right, I'm just soooo fed up and yes you've reminded me that the expenses can be paid back ASAP.

I will go to the aldi actually, as I have to do food shopping and have a day off tomorrow.

So you've made the end of my week cheerier. Thank you, moment over.

Once you are free of all unsecured debt, you can follow my brother's adage ....
Always keep a bottle of bubbly in the fridge in case there is a celebration.
Sometimes the celebration is opening the fridge at the end of a long week and finding a bottle of bubbly in there

Fish and chips and Cava makes a weekend feel fantastic, for under £5 per person - but only rarely and ideally not till those credit cards are clear

my wedding supper was doner kebab and champagne

unMN hugs for nerf and kazza don't be discouraged, you're both doing your best!
We had to use DH last freelance pay to get car insurance instead of paying down the debt, AND it won't save us any money on monthly expenses as I'm forcing him to set up a SO into our joint savings account for the amount of car insurance divided by 12 each month so by next year it'll be there waiting. But what it comes down to is we're still paying out c.£40 pm for it, having just sacrificed his freelance pay so we can pay for the whole year.

We've just started SOs into a joint savings account to cover non-monthly expenses like Car insurance, MOT, dental bills, prescription charges etc. We'll have to see how it goes over the next 3-4 months because obviously we haven't built up much of a buffer so the fund could easily be wiped out by an expense.

Glad that TiPs fab advice cheered you up Nerf. You are having such a rough time of it at the moment, you are bound to have your gloomy patches.

Thanks pixie. Chin up and all that. I have actually been to aldi
Miss annersley, that is a good idea actually I really need to do that. A car / dentist/ etc fund.

Keep going nerf and kazza. You're doing so well, but we all have our down moments, it just feels relentless at times but it will be worth it in the end.

We're going to have a fund for car tax, holiday, insurance, car repairs etc but not until the overdraft is gone.

Chin up everybody. The sunshine is out and it's a lovely day. Dinner on the patio tonight, so we can pretend we are on holiday!