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Original poster

Debt Number 3 : For those who feel they are drowning and want a way out

999 replies

TalkinPeace · 25/04/2014 21:23

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then
SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

  • yesterday is as past as the Crimean War
( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )
  • this is an anonymous forum
( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )
  • this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt
( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.

OP posts:
KinkyDorito · 30/05/2014 20:07

Spent loads today. Am hanging my head in shame and suspecting I will be using the emergency fund to cover myself this month.

I have these funny days. I can go months without spending anything, then binge.

Sigh.

Back to being careful tomorrow and damage limitation.

Shampoobaloo · 30/05/2014 22:56

Just paid off another £30 off one debt. Might not sound a lot but with my other payment it's gone from £900 to £795. Sounds a lot more manageable now it starts with a 7! Tackling debts one at a time! Feeling positive.

IamMummyhearmeROAR · 31/05/2014 07:47

I came on this thread at the end of January when I was at my lowest. The common sense helped me formulate a plan. Our debt mostly comes from our failed and frankly mismanaged business which we are now winding up. Since the end of Feb I personally have paid off £4000 of credit card debt and £400 of store card debt. Whenever I've felt low I've come on here and your inspiring stories keep me going to the next pay day. I've increased my hours to full time although this is only a short term possibility but the extra work is really putting a dent in the debt. My dh has a card with £7000 on it that he's been dealing with but not as aggressively so that is the next target for us both.

Thank you to you wonderful people for your stories

MissAnnersleyismyhero · 31/05/2014 08:10

I am mummy That's amazing, well done! Flowers

Nerf · 31/05/2014 08:20

Well done Iammumny.
Kazza, it happens. But you just need to get back on track. I feel really frustrated by all the recent spending, and we only have 450 left this month not 900 for debt/excess and have spent all the emergency fund.
But, I imagine that it was a one off for you and you will be back on track quickly. If you can take anything back, do. If I have a mad moment I leave the bags in the bedroom. Less desirable that way than hung up/put out/ etc.

kazzawazzawoo · 31/05/2014 10:37

Nerf, I have nothing I can take back- I haven't bought anything for over ten months unless absolutely necessary! Dg has been out of work for that long and this is his first pay from new job. Just not sure how to set up mortgage payments now.

kazzawazzawoo · 31/05/2014 10:37

Sorry, that should read dh, not dg!

Nerf · 31/05/2014 13:21

Sorry I missed the bit about mortgage payments?

kazzawazzawoo · 31/05/2014 15:10

While dh has been out of work we haven't been paying the mortgage- we had an overpayment and after that we've been paying just £100 a month to keep them happy. Now dh has started a new job and I wondered if I have to set up a direct debit or will a standing order be ok? The direct debit used to go out on the 28th of the month, but the 1st would be more convenient, so I hope they'll let me change the date.

KinkyDorito · 31/05/2014 15:23

I think nerf was responding to my crazy spending binge yesterday. Thanks Thanks Thanks Nothing to take back, but do need to reign it in. We did need the stuff, just feel guilty buying it.

Nerf · 31/05/2014 15:36

Sorry! Yes kinky to you!
Kazza, mortgage should be fine to move - I've never had a problem doing this.

kazzawazzawoo · 31/05/2014 16:16

Last time we tried to change the date (admittedly years ago) they said we couldn't, as we would go into arrears Sad

Original poster
TalkinPeace · 31/05/2014 16:16

Kazza
you should be able to set up the DDR on whichever date you choose - STO give you more control but DDR makes them happier.Its a toss up really.

And tut tut to the spending splurge BUT
so long as it does not happen again for several months, you'll get there.

OP posts:
puffylovett · 31/05/2014 18:05

iammummy well done! Keep plugging away!

And to whoever said it sounds more manageable with a 7 - I totally agree, I got totally fired up when paying down my last credit card, when we got almost to the end. It felt like the goalposts were really in sight!

I feel like this next one is a bit of a mountain to climb, we just need to get on with making payments now.

Well we have just spent a lovely almost free afternoon in the park watchig the queens commonwealth baton relay, all sorts of free activities to keep the kids entertained!

I am also seriously considering deregging from Facebook for a while. All our friends seem to lead lovely comfortable happy lives with lots of lovely weekends away spent caravaning and mountain biking and I'm really struggling with it as we just can't afford that lifestyle at the mo. bless them, they all try to help us join in, but sometimes I wind up feeling like the poor relation charity case.

I have a real feeling that I should be counting my blessing right now, rather than hankering after what everyone else has that is out of our reach!

Shampoobaloo · 31/05/2014 19:20

It was me who said I'm happier now my first debt starts with a 7.

Know what you mean about trying not to compare lifestyle to others. I've just started selling things on Facebook pages. Got a couple of people interested in a couple of things and sold a pair of shoes for £10. Not a lot but every little helps! Hopefully will get another £15 when the other things are collected. Keen to find other things to sell now!

pixiestix · 31/05/2014 22:12

Poor Kazza getting the blame for Kinkys spending! Grin

We've both been paid. DDs come out on Monday so I'll be doing our budget for the month then but it's looking alright. Not amazing but could be much worse.

Well done everyone. Those figures are going down and down!

pixiestix · 31/05/2014 22:13

Rats, forgot to say - thanks to those who helped with my interest problem. I hadn't realised it was calculated daily rather than as 1/12 of a year. Doh!

Nerf · 31/05/2014 22:15

Sorry! Too many Ks ok,only two but I'm a bit useless

kazzawazzawoo · 31/05/2014 22:20

lol Grin

WinterLover · 01/06/2014 06:21

Im feeling positive after a shitty conversation with my mum. I mentioned relationship problems, well MIL had been in touch with my mum to appologise for her son etc. Last weekend in a conversation about DP's employment I made a comment 'just hope I can keep up with debt payments now'. So what did she do, she told my mum. Im so very angry, mainly because, yes its a big debt but it is in no way a massive problem, and also if she thought mum should know then she should have got me to tell her not tell her herself.

Anyways, providing DP can secure a job, once my maternity leave kicks in we 'should' be able to pay circa £300 off debt per month. What im hoping is that when I ring the companies up on monday they say that additional payments are ok, I know one company wont let you make additional payments as it cancels out the plan we haev in place. It would be so handy to be able to do extra payments as and when we have extra cash.

I really want to hit the debt hard, but at the min I cant and its so fustrating, If only I knew back then what i know now.... young and very nieve.

Lookrightnow · 01/06/2014 09:31

Oh yes - I think we could all fill threads with 'if I knew then what I know now...'

No cars on finance.
Don't follow fashion. Have style.
You cannot buy friendships. Your real friends won't be amazed by feckless bar bills.
If you meet someone who suggests getting a DVD then hangs back at the counter. Run. Run for the fucking hills. It will never get any better. Don't try and fix him by marrying him.

KinkyDorito · 01/06/2014 09:31

We are all living and learning Winter. It isn't easy.

One day at a time needs to be my new mantra.

Nerf · 01/06/2014 09:34

Oh yes. Do not pay the first person to quote. What DIY can you do yourself? You can live without matching sheets. Food gets eaten - don't buy the most expensive apples.

MissAnnersleyismyhero · 01/06/2014 12:53

What have I learned...

no finance on cars EVEREVEREVERAGAIN YYlookrightnow

no item/object/purchase is worth being in debt for

shopping and owning things doesn't make you happy

I can live on a tiny portion of my salary and still have a very comfortable existence

BUT having said that I can't wait until we're debt free to do two things.

  1. book a holiday 2) buy some nice new clothes for work Grin
KinkyDorito · 01/06/2014 13:15

Definitely a holiday Miss. Somewhere hot where I can sit out on a balcony on an evening.

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