Debt Number 3 : For those who feel they are drowning and want a way out

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then
SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.

Ok, so one of my cards is a fixed low rate for the life of the balance - 6.9% iirc. I pay off £100 a month. I would expect that as the debt goes down each month the interest would go down too but it doesn't
Jan £28.50
Feb £31.08
Mar £27.71
Apr £25.52
May £26.04
What am I missing? Why does it go up and down when the debt only goes down? Sorry if I have my dunce hat on and it's really obvious!

pixie
plug the numbers into the credit card spreadsheet .... set the minimum at what you are paying and the interest rate at the one on the statement
(then I'll have a look).

Have you ever drawn cash out on the card as cash is an effing nightmare to clear down?

annie
If you have a family member who can clear all the debts without huge amounts of family stress after
DO IT
set up a standing order, write a clear agreement to pay, signed by all parties, with dates amounts and end dates
and then agree what form the 'interest' should take : champagne is usually good.

Talk, she doesn't even want it back, we think we should pay it back. She's such a lovely, when we said we had to find that for a really unexpectedissue and the tax issue, she said I'll give it you.she doesn't even drink. Thanks for listening.xx

Annie
In that case, take the money and once you have had a few months to get settled, write her a cheque.
She may or may not cash it but you have made the point that you accept her generosity and have got your finances under control.
And think of something she'd really like : a day out or a meal or something : to show your gratitude.
But the best gift for her will probably to see you happy and living well for the rest of her life.

I agree - take the money but make sure you don't run up more debts - that's the best gift you can give.

I think the interest thing is something to do with days in the month. Mine all went down alot in March after the short February, then back up in April after a long March.

I have just figured out which child I will be bailing out later in life and which I won't...

I have ynab categories carrying money, ie for road tax (£110), Christmas (£150), holiday spends (back up to £175 after a payment today - all moderating money goes in there without exception), and various other little pots - even a haircut one currently at £8.

So, bank balance £450ish when yesterday's big spends clear. But went to the supermarket for a few bits and said "I have only got £7.36 to spend". Youngest is confused. He saw my balance yesterday and knows we didn't spend it all. I explained about the ynab categories, and said there's just £7.36 left in groceries and nothing left in general spending due to unexpected dental bills, so that's it until Friday. We have food, petrol, there is nothing we need so that is fine.

Youngest thinks it's stupid. He says why ration myself to £7.36 when I have all that money? Eldest totally gets it "If she takes money from Christmas she'll just have to pay it back next month, stupid!"

I have some work to do with youngest I think!

Incidentally, got all the bits we needed for £7.15

Hi there. Am literally drowning, stupid and totally feckless and need a slap, flaming and a kick up the arse.

Basically over the past few years I've got myself into a payday loan downward spiral. It all started with a car breakdown just after Xmas.

I have kept telling myself that I'm in control and will reduce my borrowing etc but I haven't.

I get paid tomorrow and if all the money I owe is collected I'll be in negative figures.

I've cancelled my debit card and have come to some sort of arrangement with 2 out of the 4 pd lenders.

being a total fuckwit I also have 5 credit cards and 1 personal loan to service. I'm thinking of cancelling the DD's and throwing myself on the mercy of stepchange or payplan

Feel like such a failure and am consoling myself with wine that I can't afford.

Total debt is a shade under 7 grand.

pixie CC interest is charged on a daily basis, so can vary from month to month - it may depend when in the month the interest is applied to the balance. My inclination would be to increase the standing order slightly, even by just £5 if you can afford it, because if this is an imposed amount from the card company then it will be carefully worked out to ensure you pay the maximum interest, buggers that they are.

finest I don't have any advice, I just didn't want to not answer you when I was posting anyway. I'm sure some of the others can offer some help.

annie take the money, and then put aside what you would have paid towards the debt each month and pay your MIL back in a lump sum once you have it.

FinestVirginia
Credit cards : convert the direct debits into standing orders on them TONIGHT - what ever you paid on each last month, round that up to the nearest pound and set up a standing order and cancel the direct debits.
Now stop worrying about them.

Payday lender.
Yikes, I've no first hand experience of them BUT - go talk to Stepchange or the CAB.

BUT
You can sort this if you become uber cool and controlled and do not buy ANYTHING that you do not need.
Sadly for the next month or two that will involve going vegetarian and teetotal.
But it WILL BE WORTH IT.

Read through the three threads - there are loads and loads of good ideas.
And the posters who know exactly how you feel will be here to kelp kick you up onto your feet and then hold your hand to steady you there.

Update, 3/4 payday lenders have played ball, frozen my accounts and are waiting for my repayment plan.

Am emailing cc people and cancelling dd's.

I've done a draft soa to show to a dm company and have calculated that I can pay this off in 18 months maximum.

I don't know why I didn't do this ages ago. I've been living month to month robbing peter (and his extended family network) to pay off Paul, his mate and the man next door. I've existed (not lived) in a state of panic, denial and shame.

No more.

Finest
WELL DONE.

Credit cards : do not bother telling them. Just do it. Set the standing order to hit their banks the day before the direct debit would have done.
You can set the whole lot up through your own electronic banking and then they cannot faff or fob you off.

Paydays : work out EXACTLY what you owe with interest - so that they cannot bounce you into over or under paying.

And yes. When the debt hits zero its the best of best feelings.
Eat out of your cupboards for a week - save a fortune !

I've cancelled the credit and loan dd's - £317 per month. In addition to over £2k pcm in pay day loan repayments.

Tomorrow I want to be in a position where I am in control of my money.

I am exhausted now and am off to bed.

thanks guys for listening.

Sleep well : but do not forget to set up the standing orders in their stead - as then the debts sort themselves out while you deal with the day to day

Just wanted to come on here and update. You were all so nice after having my hours reduced etc.

SO we are £120 per month down on wages (difference between what wages were and what we'll get wages plus JSA top up) plus I have £45 to pay per month for car insurance for DP which was taken out for a job that only lasted a week.

Anyways, im so proud of myself. Keeping to a very strick budget (and I mean strick) I am not going to have to reduce what we are paying towards our debts. I think it has helped that I have sold some things and MIL bought us a trolley full of shopping so it put is in a positive position at the begining rather than a negative.

I wont be able to pay anything to out oil heating fund in June, but if there is any left over before the July payment goes out i'll add that to it too.

Feels like im now treading water not sinking. Need to seriously look at how im going to manage the debts over the next few years, relationship is very rocky at the min, baby is due in Nov, DS starts school next year, and all £10.5k of debts are in my name

Marking place; will catch up soon.

Just returned from long weekend away. Now, I will be damage-limiting this month.

Sigh.

DP burying his head in the sand and refusing to discuss his debt. I will be focussing on the ones I can control. Not ideal but I can only do my best.

Hi,

I've done my budget and so far (fingers crossed) everything is working out ok. Problem is I can't avoid a shortfall this month (will be 150 over my OD limit which is way better than the 600 last month but is still not ideal). I have some stuff I can sell on ebay and plan to do a boot sale to try and make that back but I just wondered generally if anyone had found any good ways of topping up your income in the short term?

shampoobaloo sorry to hear that.

Am in process of setting up DMP with stepchange.

Today I've been paid, my money is in my account, safe.

For the first time in ages I'm not panicking and doing difficult sums in my head.

All the lenders I've contacted so far have frozen my accounts and been very helpful.

I feel like I've got some control back.

I've also changed my energy tariff - saving £100pcm AND I've negotiated £20pcm off my phone/tv/internet package.

Things are looking up, compared to how I've been feeling lately.

Finest
Well done on taking that step.
THe main thing is to make sure that you miss NO MONTHLY PAYMENTS at ll while you set up stepchange : the standing order can be stopped and started by you whenever you like
but do not miss a payment : keep us posted - we are here for you

I sent token payments when I set up my DMP with Stepchange, just for a month, as they recommend you build a small emergency fund. For me that just allowed me to not use my OD that month which meant I didn't have to change banks. The OD limit is still my only emergency fund actually, rarely used in 3 years. As TiP says, you must make some kind of payment even if it is just a £1.

Feeling really low starting to think if moving out was a good idea but keep telling myself I've done the right thing it's just be hard just now
Feel like I'm constantly watching my money and never have anything for treats etc
Got Father's Day coming up plus need holiday clothes for my DD for end of July feel bad as I don't seem to have the money spare like I used too when I was at home

No idea what to do got another appointment with money matters on Monday

Just popping on to mark place.

kinkydorito us too, it's been an expensive week and I've had to use the credit card - our bedding is falling to pieces it's that ancient, kids needed new shoes and I needed a new printer, all following a spendy weekend. I have however, got printer and bedding in the sales, and kids shoes came from a discount place rather than the barefoot website I usually shop at.

Plan to pay cc in full on payday, also to set aside money for a crown for dp and then should still have enough to clear £800 off our big credit card (I hope...)

Welcome to all the newbies :)

Pay day tomorrow - and have managed to stay on track this month with a little to spare at the moment. However, discovered a tap leaking in the kitchen this morning, dh couldn't work out how to stop it before leaving for work, so will have to call out a plumber. Hope it won't be too expensive, I'll have to pay from the overdraft

woo-hoo payday! although it seems DH hasn't gotten the last little bit of OT/Freelance pay we were expecting, which is a bummer as it was budgeted for a year's car insurance payment.

New budget being drawn up this evening with new debt numbers.